Happy Birthday
by SubZeroChimera
Summary: One year after the Ragnarok incident, things are finally starting to settle down... not! Zero learns the perils of accepting an invitation from an old foe, as well as the complications of celebrating various holidays with his eccentric friends.
1. Happy Birthday

Disclaimer: All characters are copyright of CAPCOM, aka I DON'T OWN THEM.

*Edit* grammar, spacing, etc fixed for this fic; please tell me if you see any errors!

* * *

It had been almost a year since the Ragnarok incident. Zero was still with the resistance, who had renamed themselves the Guardians. How he was still alive he didn't know. Not everybody falls off an exploding space cannon and lives to tell about it. All he could remember from the time after defeating Weil was a strange, glowing light that had somehow seemed familiar. But even more strange was the fact that, when he had woken up, X was right beside him in the resistance infirmary!

He smiled at the memory.

_All Zero could do was gawk as his best friend, X, who was supposed to be dead, smiled at him from the seat next to his bed._

_"You're finally awake, eh Zero?" X said_

_"Huh...? Wha? How... You... X...!" Zero stuttered in amazement._

_"Come on Zero, you didn't hit your head _that _hard. I know you fell a bit when Ragnarok blew, but the Mother Elf saved you from the worst of it."_

_Zero was still staring open mouthed like he hadn't heard a word._

_"Oh, right, guess I've got some explaining to do... Well Zero, the Mother Elf is still around, and she saved you as you fell. However, you weren't the only one that she saved. She somehow managed to open up a portal to cyberspace, and helped me along with some others. I think you know them... The four guardians ring any bells?_

_Zero rapidly shook his head , breaking from his stupor. "The Guardians? They're alive? Where are they!" He began looking around worriedly._

_"Not here..." X saw the look on Zero's face. "Relax Zero, they're on our side now. After all, the war's over!"_

_Zero looked confused. X sighed, then smiled. "Zero, what is it with you and memory loss? You beat Weil, Neo Arcadia's gone, and everyone's tired of fighting! You did what I couldn't do. You stopped the war!"_

_The crimson reploid turned red in the face with embarrassment. "C'mon X, I couldn't have done it without you. You did most of it," he replied somewhat sheepishly._

_X beamed. "I know, I just felt like giving you a little credit. But if you want, I'll just take all of it..."_

_Zero gave him a friendly punch. "Fat chance!"_

_It was then that Ciel, along with the rest of the resistance (and some of the area zero humans), busted in through the door to welcome him back home. Well, tried to, anyways. The fifty or so people trying to get in through the one door at the same time caused a rather comical "traffic jam."_

_Zero smiled. This was gonna be one _heck _of a reunion..._

Now he was racing back home on his new ride chaser, enjoying the wind whipping his long, golden blonde hair behind him. Most of the planet still looked like the desert wasteland he was in now, but here and there, forests were coming back thanks to the efforts of human and reploid alike. He drove towards the newly improved resistance/guardian base, finally stopping in its garage. "Hey Zero!" one of the mechanics yelled. The others (there were 5 in all) looked up, each shouting out their own greeting.

"Welcome back!"

"Back so soon?"

"How's your ride doin'? Want us to fix 'er up for ya?"

"Hiya Zero!"

Zero smiled at them as he went past. "Nah, thanks for the offer, but she'll be fine"

As he left the garage, he saw the mechanics giving each other sideways glances. Zero sighed inwardly. The next time he'd get back to his ride, he would find it cleaned and buffed. Those mechanics were always taking good care of his bike, whether he asked them to or not. It was just their way of showing their appreciation for what he'd done. Zero smiled again. Not that he minded...

Passing through the halls of the base, he stopped in at the office and filed a report on the patrol that he'd just finished. No one expected him to do any patrols; it was a peaceful time, after all. No one expected him to still be working with the Guardians, quite frankly. But the hero was always alert and cautious, patrolling the wastelands whenever he could, watching for any trouble that might be brewing (there never was any). It was all he did apart from the occasional rescue or mechaniloid extermination. The only things the Guardians really did anymore were peacekeeping missions or odd-jobs people asked them to do. Nothing they needed a legendary warrior for, but nevertheless, Zero stayed and helped.

After finishing his report, Zero headed straight to his room. They had given him special quarters, one bed and quite spacious. If he ever left, bunk beds would be brought in and the room would be given to rookies. Or whatever else the "landlord" had in mind. A door leading to a small bathroom was across from the corner where the bed was, with a sink, counter, and shower. There was even a toilet, but being a reploid, he didn't need to use it (unless he felt like giving someone a swirly... some rookies _had_ at one time gotten _extremely_ close to making Zero drag them off to the wet torture chamber). To his left was a desk with a comfy chair and several drawers. On top of the desk was a couple of personal items, including a picture on the right side of it of him, X, and Axl... Poor Axl. No one knew what had happened to him... On the other side of the desk was a letter...

Wait, a letter? When did that get there? He reached for the letter and picked it up. "To Zero" was written on one side of the envelope that it was in, but nothing else.

"That's weird," thought Zero as he opened up the white paper, pulling out the delicate sheet within. Hand-printed on it were the words; "_Hello Zero. It has been quite a while since we've last seen each other. Anyways, there is an important occasion which I would be very pleased if you attend. I assure you that you need not bring your weapon, as none of us will be bringing ours. Sincerely, Harpuia_."

Zero blinked. Had he read that correctly? Re-reading it, he came to the conclusion that he had. It still confused him. One of the four guardians had written him a letter? Even after they had been revived (He had killed Phantom, and the others had been destroyed in Omega's attempt to take his arch-nemesis with him) they hadn't had any contact at all with Zero. Zero was okay with that, after all, every time they had met each other before, they were trying to kill each other (with pointy and/or blunt objects, no less). So it wasn't surprising that there was a bit of friction.

Below Harpuia's writing was an address and a time. The address was somewhere in a nearby city, while the time was about an hour from now. If he wanted to go there, it would be but a short ride. Zero weighed his options. On one hand, it would be a great opportunity to catch up on lost time with the four. He had never really _hated _them, just been wary. And Leviathan _was_ kinda cute, if not as cute as Ciel...

Zero shook his head. Where the heck did that train of thought come from? He re-routed the train and continued.

On the other hand, those four had always been fairly serious about fighting, and this could be some kind of trap intended to catch him off guard, so that they could get their revenge... He shuddered. He'd beaten them one at a time before, but if all of them came at him at once... especially if he was _unarmed_... Zero shuddered again, slightly more violently. That would hurt. A. LOT. If it didn't kill him outright. After no less than EIGHT close calls, he wasn't about to risk it again. At least, not without a weapon.

The tired hero let out a heavy sigh. He hadn't realized that he'd been holding his breath since reading the sage's name. If only Ciel was here. She had gone out on some sort of "mission" yesterday, and had explicitly asked that no one contact her. Maybe it was that time of month again (she was a human female, after all), but it still didn't help his predicament. Zero had always relied on her advice (not that he admitted it) in times like these, but this time, he was on his own.

Looking at the letter again, he made his decision. He would go. However, he would take his weapons with him. No one, not X, not even Ciel, could make him leave his weapons behind. They were always with him, in the pockets on his hips. Some people joked that they were like the little good voice bad voice things that would float around your shoulders. Only neither of them was particularly adept at telling Zero whether or not to slice stuff into mincemeat. He did it anyways.

Zero put the letter into the pocket of a jacket that was slung over the end of his bed. Hefting the jacket over his shoulders, Zero left his room and headed back to the garage. The five mechanics had left, leaving the garage empty. It had only been fifteen to twenty minutes since he left, and it was getting dark outside, but sure enough, his bike was shining brightly. He smirked.

At least he'd be arriving in style.

Forty-five minutes later, Zero arrived at the house. It was fairly large. "I guess being one of the guardians of Copy X had its advantages," thought Zero aloud as he turned his bike alarm on. Flipping out the kickstand, he left it by a pillar of the small mansion's metal and stone fence. He walked up and pressed his palm against the gate. It opened with a minuscule creak, the wrought iron swinging slowly inward. Walking up the path to the house, Zero saw that none of the lights were on. "Odd. Very odd..." he mused to himself as he arrived at the front door. Maybe they weren't here? He _was_ fifteen minutes early. But then again... "Who the heck isn't there before their guest is?" he asked.

He knocked at the front door. Nothing. He tried again. Still nothing. Zero was starting to get frustrated, and grabbed the doorknob. It opened as if by itself. Mildly surprised, Zero poked his head slowly into the entrance room. There was a large stairway to one side, a hallway down the middle, and a polished wooden table to the other side. A sculpture was on top of the table, which had a drawer on the underside. Creamy pink and white marble tiles covered the part of the hall and room he could see, while a luxurious red carpet ran up the stairs, along with an ornate white rail. Stepping further into the room, he looked around to see if he could spot anything else. Suddenly, the door slammed behind him! Zero whirled around, trying to see what had caused the door to close so violently.

It was a decision he would regret. As soon as he had turned around, something landed on the floor behind him. Before he could turn back to face it, it had slammed its fist into the back of his head, rendering him unconscious.

X X X

"Urgh..."

Zero woke up with a headache, blinking slowly against the light. His arms were bound to his sides via a long rope, which also bound anything else (except his hair) from below his neck to above his waist. Only his hands and legs were untied.

"Oi, Harpy, he's up!" yelled a familiar voice. Fefnir. The Guardians _had_ been up to something!

"Is he? Good, just in time. He never disappoints, does he?" replied Harpuia.

"Not even when he's unconscious. Quite the talent." This time, the voice wasn't as familiar. Zero had to strain to remember that it was Phantom's.

"Ehehe, that was a nice hit, Phanny. Almost as good as mine!" smirked Fefnir.

"Why thank you," accepted Phantom, closing his eyes. "Although..." Phantom opened one eye, his hand shifting to where his kunai were kept, "I don't want to have to remind you again about calling me _Phanny_..." A glowing knife appeared in his hand.

"Aw, come on, you know I was just joking!" Fefnir said back, holding up both his hands in halfway to an '_I surrender' _gesture. The kunai was put away.

Zero looked around the room. There was a big screen TV in one corner, with a table not too far away from it. On the floor by the table were presents, while on the table was a punch bowl, a cake, and other refreshments. Above the table was a large, colourful banner. It read "HAPPY BIRTHDAY L-"

Zero didn't have time to finish reading, as Fefnir had grabbed him and jumped behind a couch, after a knock had sounded from the door to the right side of the table. It was the only couch in the room, but it was large enough to hide the four of them, as the other two had jumped behind it as well.

"Hello? What's going on around here?" demanded a muffled female voice. It sounded familiar too, but Zero couldn't quite place it...

"She's gonna be so surprised!" Fefnir whispered with excitement, before he was silenced by a glare from Harpuia.

The door squeaked open, and the person who the voice belonged to came into the room.

"Okay, seriously, if this is some sorta trick..." she came in further. Zero recognized the voice.

"SURPRISE!" Yelled the three male guardians as they jumped up from behind the couch, ironically, surprising the person enough that she jumped. Zero didn't need to finish reading the banner to know whose birthday it was.

"What the-?" exclaimed Leviathan. "What's all this?" she asked, looking at the presents.

"Duh, it's your birthday! Or did you already forget?" smirked Fefnir.

"I thought _you_ had forgotten... you really shouldn't have..." Leviathan was again looking at all the presents, but this time with a smile

"Actually, we didn't. Those ones are from people at the government building," explained Harpuia.

"Huh?" Leviathan looked confused.

"Your real present... is back here..."

Fefnir reached down, grabbing Zero by one of the ropes coiled around him. With dread, he suddenly realized just why he was tied up in the manner that he was.

"Aw, Sh-"

"ZERO!"

Leviathan did a spectacular flying tackle right into Zero (the glomping society later rated it eleven out of ten) and crashed to the floor about two meters from where Zero had been. The other guardians watched with large, idiotic grins (yes, even Phantom) as Leviathan quickly picked herself back up into a standing position, hugging Zero tightly as if he were an giant plushie.

"Where were you we haven't seen each other in ages did you miss me 'cause I sure missed you you look so cute with that bow on-"

"Bow? What bow?"

Zero looked down at his chest. Around his neck, a ridiculously over-sized pink bow had been tied, with a large bell secured in the middle. It looked like something a catgirl would wear. Zero looked slowly over to the male guardians.

"I. am. going. to. Fucking. KILL. You." He ground out. Their grins became impossibly large, threatening to split each of their faces in two.

Just then, the door opened again, revealing Ciel in her usual outfit. She looked over at Zero and Leviathan, and smiled.

"Hey Zero! Hey Leviathan! Happy birthday!" she said happily.

"Ciel?" Zero exclaimed, with a shocked look on his face. "Ciel, you gotta help me! These crazy idiots lured me here and tied me up and-"

"Sorry Zero, I can't help you. It was all my idea. How else did you think a letter without a return address got into _your_ room?" she giggled. Zero stared at her, thoroughly baffled.

"Bu-... Your mission... So _that's_ why you didn't want anyone contacting you! I thought you were having your _period_!" fumed Zero.

Ciel blushed a deep red as the three guardians laughed hysterically, Fefnir laughing so hard that he fell over. The other two had the foresight to lean against each other, in order to prevent the same situation. Even Leviathan was grinning (although nobody knew if it was from the joke, or the fact that she still had a good hold on her beloved Zero).

After a while, they finally stopped laughing (or getting red in the face from rage or embarrassment) when they had to catch their breaths. Zero still had a dark look on his face when he finally spoke up.

"So this _whole_ thing was your idea, from the reunion to me getting tied up to..." Zero's complaints slowly became less and less tangible as he started muttering death threats under his breath.

"Well, not _all_ of it. At first, I just wanted to get you five back together... But once I heard about how Leviathan missed you, and how her birthday was coming up, I couldn't resist. Besides Zero, the war has been over for a year and you're _still_ acting like it could start up again at any second. I just thought that you should be having a little more fun!" Ciel thoughtfully looked at Zero's accessory. "I must admit, I wasn't the one who came up with the idea for the bow... Although it _is_ a nice touch..."

Zero's face and voice became darker, the death threats rapidly becoming more painful and bloody. Fortunately, no one could understand him.

Another knock sounded out from the door. Everyone looked at it with confusion until it opened up, revealing... X!

"Master X!" Harpuia quickly knelt in reflex upon seeing him. Unfortunately, Phantom, who had still been leaning against Harpuia, was not prepared for the sudden movement. He crashed to the floor, first landing on his hindquarters, then finishing the not-so-graceful-maneuver flat on his back.

"Ow."

The rest of the group looked at him in surprise. Usually, Phantom had the most finesse of them all.

Harpuia looked back at his handiwork. "Oops... Sorry..." he muttered sheepishly.

Phantom moved quickly, getting up enough to deliver a sweeping kick that caused Harpuia to land on his face.

"Apology accepted."

"Geeze Phantom, that really hurt!" Harpuia said as he got up, rubbing his nose.

"That was kinda the point," replied the ninja.

"Do things always get this crazy whenever I come around?" asked X.

Out of nowhere, Zero began to struggle, thrashing his legs wildly about. Caught off-guard, Leviathan almost dropped him, but soon regained her composure (and her hold). Zero stopped.

"Darn it. Almost..." Zero's face once again darkened, his escape plan having failed.

"Oho! Not gonna get away that easily!" Leviathan proclaimed smugly. "In fact..." She held him up higher, leaning back slightly, "you're never getting away!"

She gave him a huge smooch, right on the lips!

"MMMMPH! Zero's eyes shot open, and he once again began to struggle. This time, however, he got away. But not before Fefnir gave a crude whistle, Harpuia and Phantom applauded Leviathan's efforts, and Ciel crossed her arms and looked away, so that no one could see that she was jealous.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!" yelled Zero, enraged again.

"What else?" smirked Leviathan.

Before the argument could escalate, X stepped in, "Alright guys, it's time to stop teasing Zero..."

Everyone groaned, except Zero, who was glad that he had _finally_ found an ally.

"Where'd you come from, anyways?" asked Fefnir rudely. Harpuia shot him a dirty look.

"Well, it was Leviathan's birthday today, and I'd heard from Ciel that something was going to happen around this time. I got a bit held up..." here he paused, "but I _did_ try to get here as soon as possible. I invited myself in when I heard laughing inside." he finished as he walked towards Zero. Unknown to everyone else, X had also found something that had been left in the lobby after the guardians had finished up with Zero. And he fully intended on using it.

"Thanks buddy. I owe you one," said Zero as X began tugging on the ropes, unaware of X's sly smile. After about a minute or two, Zero realized that something wasn't right. Sure, the ropes were tight, but X _should have_ been able to get them off by now... and most of the time, X's tugging had been at his _hair_, not the ropes...

"There! Done!" X happily exclaimed. But...

"X, you can't be done! I'm still tied up!" Zero pointed out.

"Who said I was going to untie you? All I said is that we were gonna stop _teasing_ you..."

X gave his best evil grin. "And now, we're gonna start _torturing_ you..."

Zero looked at his hair, panicking. What he saw did not help his state.

"You _braided_ my _hair_? X, you traitor!"

"Not only that, but I added another bow and bell to it!"

Zero looked. Sure enough, at the end of the braid, another pink bow and bell had been added. In fact, with his long hair, it made him look even _more_ like a catgirl. Zero's face went red with fury.

"X YOU JERK! THIS ISN'T FUNNY! UNTIE ME RIGHT NOW!"

Contrary to Zero's "not funny" statement, everyone in attendance was about to have a fit. Harpuia and Phantom were once again leaning against each other while Fefnir was doubled over, holding both his stomach and his mouth in a failed attempt to stifle the laughter that was starting to hurt his gut. X's smile was defying the law of physics by not ripping his face apart. The only two who weren't laughing were Ciel and Leviathan, who were giving him big, googly, shiny eyes.

"He's so cute! I wanna keep him so bad!" Leviathan shuffled closer.

"Oh no you don't! I get him this time!" Ciel commanded as she lunged forward, landing her face right in front of him. Zero couldn't have avoided the kiss if he'd wanted to.

"Not _again_!" thought Zero as, for the second time in one night, he was drawn into an intimate moment, albeit slightly longer than the last. When it was over, they drew away slowly, staring at each other's eyes.

"Cheater." muttered Leviathan. Ciel turned around to face her.

"Thank _heavens_ I don't have to keep looking at her like that..." Zero thought again. It had been getting rather awkward...

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Phantom holding something. Phantom was giggling to himself.

"Oh man, this is _great_ footage..."

Too late did Zero realize what the object was. "Phantom, where on _earth_ did you get that video camera?"

Still looking through the lens, Phantom answered, "It's been in the upper corner of this room the whole time. I just wanted a close-up."

Everyone stared at him. Harpuia, realizing that he was leaning on thin air, finally succumbed to gravity with a loud _thump_.

"Oof!"

The group ignored him and continued staring at Phantom. Then they looked at each other. Apparently, only Phantom knew about it.

"Uh, Phantom, what are you going to do with that video?"

"I dunno, blackmail, Youtube, Ebay..." he waved his hand carelessly in the air. Then he realized that the others had heard.

"Oh... Crraaaaaap..." he said as he backed up. Zero's bonds let out an audible snap as they were forcibly ripped apart.

"I am going to MURDER YOU!" Phantom barely avoided the berserk red reploid's sword as Zero began his assault.

"Gotta go! Bye!" Phantom raced from the room.

"GET BACK HERE!" everyone yelled in unison as they chased the mischievous guardian around the property, in and around the house, and every other place a ninja could get to.

Which turned out to be a _lot_ of places.

It had taken most of the night for the group to finally catch up with him. After threatening bodily harm, the revelation of personal secrets, etc, they had finally gotten him to promise not to do anything bad with the video. Well, actually, they got him to promise twice (the first time he had his fingers crossed). And so, after they finished doing whatever they had originally planned for Leviathan's birthday (including eating the now lukewarm cake), they all went back to their respective homes and rooms, tired, happy, and _not_ planning to wake up early next morning.

Zero reflected back on the party, and what Ciel had told him about "having fun". The more he thought about it, the more he realized; Yes, he should have more fun. A lot more, like what they had done last night. And hey, even if he did end up looking like a catgirl...

He'd have to be an idiot to not like scoring with two hot chicks.

X X X X X

Somewhere, not too far away in the desert, a lone figure stood. He had gray, weather-worn skin. His armour was a faded navy, with once-colourful red stripes accenting it and his midriff. What looked like gold or yellow (age and wear had made it indistinguishable) also stood out on parts of the armour. Two large white spikes, one snapped off halfway from who-knows-what, projected from his back. A blue jewel occupied the center of his forehead, while spiky orange hair blew in the breeze of a fading sandstorm.

"Geeze, I hate sandstorms. They always get sand in my joints," he complained to nobody in particular. Ever since he had gotten lost, he had been his only companion. It felt strange at first, but you got used to talking to yourself after a while. After all, you never feel _quite_ as lonely as when you hear a voice, even if it _is _your own. The figure sat down on a dune, opening up an old burlap sack he had found, and that he had had over his shoulder until a minute ago.

"Lessee what you've got in you there, eh?" he questioned the sack. Looking inside, he found an energy crystal, binoculars with one lens broken, and a crumpled piece of paper.

"An energy crystal? Yummy!" he began gulping it down voraciously. The figure was obviously a reploid; humans can't eat energy crystals.

"Ooh, score! 'Noculars!" he looked through them. "And they aren't completely broken! YAY!"

The inquisitive reploid finally got to the paper. Uncrumpling it, he saw that it was a map, although it was beaten and ripped beyond use.

"An old map? This brings back memories..." and indeed it did. Memories of the day the reckless recruit had first left to search for treasure. He hadn't told anyone; he was gonna surprise them when he got rich! But just before he had stepped into the desert, an old woman in a cloak had warned him;

"Be careful, young one. The desert is vast, ye'll easily be lost forever. Take a map, or ye shall perish..."

"Hah!" he had replied, "I don't need no map! I'll be just fine by myself!"

Before the hag could say another word, he had rushed off into the desert, without a map, without supplies, in fact, with nothing at all.

How stupid he had been.

The figure was lost ever since. He'd somehow managed to find the EC he needed to survive, and occasionally did find something interesting, but not the treasure he'd originally hoped for. Eventually, he had given up on seeing anything alive ever again (except vultures. Those were everywhere.) However, unknown to him, his fortunes were finally changing. Ever since that one stunningly beautiful meteor shower (which was actually Ragnarok), EC were getting easier to find, and the impact of the "meteors" had blasted away much of the never-ending sand, revealing things lost for centuries, no, _millenia_. The lone figure had actually found things of worth, including an ancient, mysterious staff made of pure gold, covered with every precious gem imaginable. The whole thing was to heavy to carry, but he _did_ snag a one-of-a-kind "blood diamond" off the top of it. So large and so perfectly spherical was this diamond that it could have put the Hope diamond to infinite shame, and would if he found civilization. Hey, he hadn't _completely_ given up on finding treasure.

And now, with the binoculars, he was going to find that civilization.

He didn't know that, of course. He was just happy that he could see three times as far as he usually could.

"Whoa, cool! I can see the whole world through these! I bet I could even see my house!" pausing, he once again spoke, "wait, do I even have a house?"

Whether or not the searing heat had affected his thought circuits, or if he just hadn't learned as many life lessons as he thought he had, the figure was still immature and childish. Suddenly, while scanning the horizon, large gray rectangles seemed to sprout vertically from the ground. Blinking, he removed the binoculars from his visage and looked at the spot normally. There was strange gray _blur,_ straight ahead of where he was. He hadn't seen anything like that for over a hundred years. Small wonder he couldn't recognize buildings.

"Weird..." he thought. Perking up immediately, he started skipping towards them. "big gray things must mean some sort of treasure!" Out of his new "knapsack" (he had deposited his goods into the bag while he was reminiscing), he picked out the diamond. "You and me are going to search for new stuff to explore with us!" he said gleefully. Putting the heavy, basketball-sized rock back into his bag, he continued towards the "treasure", little realizing that what he was heading for would indeed be treasure.

Life's greatest treasure...Friendship.

In only a couple of days, he would arrive at the city, the same city Zero would be in. In fact, Zero would be the first one to spot the ancient figure, and incredulously go out to meet him. The rest of the gang would come out to meet him, too. They would ask him where had he gone, why had he left, millions of questions.

And he would tell them.

Zero would chide him. Idiot, there's no treasure in the desert. That's where he would correct him, then show the group his "lucky rock".

And have half of his new friends promptly faint in shock at the size of it.

But right now, all he cared about was chatting animatedly to the engulfing sands, himself, and his various items. Even in hard times, he was always a carefree soul. So on he went, towards the strange gray, thinking only of treasure, mischief, and... well, treasure.

That is, until he tripped over a dune.

X X X X X

Elsewhere, underground, someone else's luck was about to take a turn in an entirely opposite direction.

Glowing red eyes snapped open, the familiar blood lust began clawing at his mind. Omega, the most feared reploid in creation, the God of Destruction, had woken up. And was far, _far_ from being dead.

He got up, every mechanical muscle rippling as he stood. Looking down at his fingers, he flexed them, and grinned a grin that would chill the soul of anyone who saw it. His platinum-blonde hair waved softly behind him as he looked around, temporarily masking parts of his dark form as it fluttered with deceptive calm.

He was alive, and no one was suspect. And for that mistake...

They would all _suffer_...

His malicious smile widened, showing his slightly elongated canines in full view. Extremely young children within five miles began crying inexplicably. His eyes, and the blue gem in his forehead, glowed menacingly.

It was good to be back

He was in a room, only a few meters smaller than a football field. The same room that Zero had defeated him in. Omega's grin disappeared. Had it not been for Zero's friends, he wouldn't be in the room now. But no matter.

He'd just slaughter them one by one next time...

The room had only one door, but it wasn't like he'd be sticking around for long. He opened the door, ready to strike terror into anyone who was fool enough to cross his path. Instead, when he saw what lay ahead, he stopped and stared, a blank look on his face.

He was facing an enormous field of spikes, _too_ far _by _far to jump across. The pit seemed to completely encompass the room he had just stepped out of, and had disappearing platforms appearing randomly across it. The platforms had no pattern in location, or in the amount of time that they took to appear and disappear. In other words, there was no plausible way out without attempting a suicidal crossing.

Omega stared at the pit for several more minutes. His eye finally twitched. He took a deep breath, and...

"MOTHER F-!"

Proceeded to swear incredibly obscenely.

Within a five mile radius, mothers and fathers alike had a _very_ hard time explaining strange new words to their extremely young children.

* * *

So, that was my first 'fic, and I hope that you've enjoyed it. As long as you've had a good laugh, I'll be happy. Perhaps I'll write again soon, perhaps not. Until next time!

P.S. I wrote this on September 12th-13th, 2008, based off of a picture I drew for my art class's "Sketch of the week". I was up until _4:50 am _writing this, then I started reviewing it as soon as I got up at _9:15am_. So... Flame me, give me non-constructive criticism, etc, and you will die a slow and painful death.

Thanks for your time!


	2. Happy Holidays

SubZeroChimera here! This fic, formerly a oneshot, has decided that it wants to have a little more than just one page to it. Because of this, I will get rid of its "complete" status, and it will probably never get it again. This is because, on random occasions, I will be updating it with extra chapters. Sorry to those who thought that they'd read this story and never have to come back because of it being complete. I regret to say that this will become one of those "dropped projects" that we all love to hate, at least for the moment. As soon as I feel I can come up with no more content, I will call this complete, but for now, you'll have to check back occasionally to see if there's anything new. Thank you for your patience, and may you have a happy day!

Thanks to Captain Greene for helping me with ideas!

* * *

_Christmas eve_

Axl watched, eyes wide open and sparkling hopefully.

"No, Axl."

His eyes widened further, growing more deep and shiny.

"I said no, Axl."

Axl's lips quivered, his eyes pleading.

"What do you not understand about the word _no_?"

He hung his head, looking sorrowful, adding a small whine for effect.

"For God's sake, Axl, get out of my room!"

Axl didn't budge. He stubbornly held his ground, keeping up the pretense of a lonely puppy.

"You asked for it..."

Ciel was walking down the hall of the guardian base. Upon hearing the sound of a door being forcibly opened, she ducked, just in time to avoid the sailing body of the navy reploid. He crashed into the wall, leaving a head-shaped dent in it. It blended in with the other dents on the not-so-smooth surface. Allouette, who was following Ciel, rushed to his side.

"Uncle Axl, did Zero throw you out again?" she asked innocently.

"Guh...Yeah..." he managed to say. He squirmed into a sitting position from his previously crumpled one, rubbing his head. "He threw a little harder than usual, though..."

"Axl, why don't you get a room, or even a house, of your own? I'm sure it will cause you less grief," Ciel inquired. Axl, whose arguably thick skull allowed for better recovery time, got up.

"Because I wanna room with him, that's why." he snorted. Ciel sighed.

"But you know as well as I do that he likes his space. Have you tried asking X or the guardians, yet? I'm sure that one of them wouldn't mind."

"X is boring, and there's _no way_ I'm gonna live in the guardians' house. They creep me out, _especially_ Leviathan..."

Ciel smiled, "Don't worry, she scares me too. So why do you want to room with Zero so much, anyways?"

"'Cause he's my friend, and because I've got nowhere else to go. Besides, it's not like you don't want to sleep in the same room as him, either."

Axl found himself flying back into the wall. His cheek was fluorescent red from where Ciel had slapped him. She stomped off, blushing furiously, while Alouette stayed and watched him try to get his head out of the side of the building. The wall had finally succumbed to the amount of times he'd hit it.

"Do you need any help, Uncle Axl?"

"No, I'm fine! Just have to wiggle a bit more!" the response was muffled from the insulation and metal.

"Okay then, I'm gonna go find sis now." Allouette left, leaving a struggling Axl to his own dilemma.

"Wait! I think I might need some help after all!" he cried out, too late. Allouette had already gone.

"Well, poop. Now how do I get out?" He thrashed his legs to no avail. "If only I had a DNA I could use... but I lost them all in the desert..." Axl tried to push against the wall with his hands and feet, futilely twisting his neck all the while. It would be a _long_ day...

X X X X X

The four guardians walked down the hall, Leviathan at the lead. Harpuia and Fefnir were attempting a civilized conversation (Fefnir was failing horribly), while Phantom was silent, soaking up the sights. Each of the four was in casual attire, jeans and a t-shirt. Their shirt colours were blue, green, orange and purple respectively.

Leviathan, ahead of the group, spotted Axl first. She turned to her friends, finger on her lips. They noticed this, although Fefnir bumped into her before he did. After smacking him roughly over the head, she snuck up on Axl, who, after a half-hour of squirming, was tired out. It was but the work of a moment for her to grab his ankles and pull him out.

Axl yelped loudly, then span to see his assailant. When he saw her, his eyed went as wide as saucers. He jumped back into the hole to try and get away, but Leviathan only grabbed him again and pulled. After failing that escape, he faced Leviathan.

"L-Leviathan! N-nice to see y-you! What are you d-doing here?"

"I came here to visit Zero, of course!" She happily exclaimed. "I didn't know that you were here too, though. What are you doing here?"

"Same thing, really..." he muttered. He was interrupted when the door to Zero's room opened. The red hero looked up from his newspaper, seeing that the guardians and Axl were just outside. After a long, drawn-out period of time, he backed up and shut the door.

This triggered a reaction in the others. As Leviathan ran to the door, Axl quickly got to his feet and ran down the corridor. Well, would have, if not for Phantom grabbing his collar.

"Not so fast there, buddy." He chided. Axl began whimpering. Next to Leviathan, Phantom was the worst.

"Oh come on, open up! I just wanted to say hi!" she complained.

"Yeah, and the last time you did that, I ended up in a tree."

"But that was just an accident! If you hadn't of been in such a hurry to run-"

"Who wouldn't be in a hurry to run? The sound of a ball and chain isn't exactly comforting, you know!"

"For the umpteenth time, those were just my keys? See?" she brought out her keys, rattling them, "Just my keys! Honest!"

"Keys? What a load! I'm not coming out, no matter what you say!" he shouted back. Leviathan puffed out her cheeks, frustrated. Knowing that he wouldn't come out unless for a full-out war, she looked around for an excuse nonetheless. Her eyes lit up the moment they fell on it.

"But we're gonna be torturing Axl!"

"Where do I sign up!" His door swung rapidly open, with him leaning out of it. Leviathan had to jump out of the way to avoid the door. Axl moaned in despair.

Leviathan grabbed him, yanking Zero out of his room. "Actually, instead of torturing Axl, I thought we could do something even more fun and go Christmas shopping! C'mon then!" She pulled him down the hall, despite his indignant protests. Her brothers followed suite, Phantom still holding (aka dragging) the whining Axl.

From around the corner, Ciel watched them leave. She smiled as Alouette tugged on her skirt. "Shouldn't we stop them, sis?"

"No, we shouldn't. Zero needs to get out more." Alouette looked up at Ciel, concern in her eyes. Ciel noticed this, "Don't worry, he can take care of himself. He's not a legendary hero for nothing."

Alouette smiled, relief in her eyes. "Okay sis, I believe you."

X X X

The mall was huge, several stories of sheer shopping chaos. People went to and fro, many of them carrying bulging purses or bags. An enormous window on the roof, while covered in snow, still let rays of sunlight in, flooding all of the levels with light. Here and there, escalators, benches, and even fountains were dotted, adding to the jovial but crowded atmosphere. Multitudes of voices in a spectrum of various frequencies drowned out each of their neighbors, sounding for all the world like a stadium full of screaming fans.

"Home sweet home..." sighed Leviathan happily. She dashed off into the crowd, leaving behind an extremely confused Zero.

"So she drags me here to go Christmas shopping, then forgets me at the door?" he asked.

"Well duh! You can't go shopping for someone's presents when they're right beside you!" chortled Fefnir.

"I should think that was obvious." added Harpuia.

"Great, now I feel like an idiot." Zero grumbled.

"That's because you _are_ an idiot. And by the way..." Phantom had somehow popped up right in front of Zero, "use a fake name while you're here. It's hard enough to get shopping done without legions of fans dying to get your autograph or something like that."

"Trust us on that one..." Fefnir said ruefully.

"Fair enough. Zed sound good?"

Harpuia nodded. "That's not shabby for such short notice. Mine's Harp, Fef's is Wolfe, and Phantom's is Dark. Leviathan's short is just Levi, and if you meet X, you can call him Elf. Not that he chose that name, mind you." he was smirking, and Zero had the feeling that there was a joke behind the name.

"What about me?"

The group turned to Axl. "I hate to be the one to say it," Zero pointed out, "but you were never famous enough to get fans."

Axl's face turned into a comical portrayal of unhappiness (complete with frown, shaded eyes, and gloomy air). The group laughed, then set off into the mall, each taking a different path. And, of course, they left Axl behind.

Five minutes into the mall, and Zero realized he had a problem; he didn't have a clue as to what to get his friends for their presents! He knew what to get for Axl and X (wherever he was), but he wasn't close enough with any of the guardians to know their preferences. Which was causing the crimson warrior to panic.

"Aw shit, now what do I do? Levi would kill me if I got her the wrong thing! And that isn't even _close_ to what Ciel would do..." he looked at all of the shops, desperate for ideas. It wasn't until he saw a familiar figure in the crowd that he could breathe a sigh of relief.

"Oi! Elf!"

The figure looked around, his brown hair swishing as his blue eyes searched the crowd. "Dangit, if that's you guardians again...!"

"No, stupid, it's me! Over here!" X's eyes finally found their target as he pushed past members of the vast crowd, stopping only when he was at his old partner's side. X rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue at Zero's behavior.

"Tsk tsk, now I _know_ it's you. The guardians never call _me_ stupid. Or shove aside crowds, for that matter." The members of said crowd were giving Zero filthy looks, but soon passed on their way.

"To heck with them. Hey, if the guardians haven't called you stupid yet, then they can't know you too well. Whatcha doing here?" Zero cheerily asked.

"For your information," X started, "I'm here looking for a job. I just finished my shopping a week ago, but my account is a little low."

"Good luck getting a job, then. How's your resume working?"

"Not well. I have to put my real name on it, but people think I'm just joking when I do that. No one's really taking me seriously here. I haven't put much of my hunting exploits on it either, so believe it or not, it's a bit empty, too." he lamented.

"That's harsh. Would it help if you put down a fake name?"

X frowned, "No, you twit, it wouldn't. Firstly, if they tried a background check, they wouldn't get anything. Secondly, it's _illegal_! Not like you'd know anything about the law, though."

"Nope." Zero grinned.

"Good ole Ze-" X started to say. But right when he started to say his friend's name, the crowd surrounding them grew awfully silent. He paused, and Zero took the opportunity to chide X.

"Uh, Zed, remember? ZED. Geeze, you're always forgetting my name," he hastily cut in. X caught on to the ruse immediately.

"Oh, right, Zed, sorry about that." both he and Zero sweatdropped, hoping that the crowd bought it. They did, although a few of them seemed disappointed.

"So, uh... why are _you_ here?" X asked as the legions of shoppers returned to their everyday lives. "You have a job with the guardians, so I doubt that _you're_ here for the same reason as me."

"You're right there," he replied, "I'm out Christmas shopping, but I don't know what to get for everyone. I don't know the guardians enough to know what they'd like, short of dressing up in a bow again... And that _won't_ happen, mark my words." he uttered with a scowl. X smirked knowingly.

"Well, I've certainly got some free time. Come on, then, let's go." he patted Zero's shoulder, then began pushing him forwards.

"Go where?"

X shook his head. "Boy, I've got some work to do" he muttered to himself.

X X X

It took Axl 10 minutes to realize that he'd been left behind. His former doom and gloom attitude disappeared instantly, leaving behind pure indignation.

"Those jerks! They left me here! And all by myself, at that! Ooh, they're gonna regret it!" He stomped off angrily onto the crowd, looking for the ones who ditched him. Have no luck at this (not that he tried too hard), he set out further to find them. Unfortunately for him, the wonders of the mall distracted him almost immediately.

"Ooh! Candy!" he said as he leaned into a window, almost drooling at the sweets on the other side. Then, looking to the side, he saw another shop not far off. "Look at the plushies!" Axl cried joyfully as he arrived at the transparent pane. "Neato!" he said again as he raced to another shop. And so it went, the curious reploid zipping from store to store, rarely arriving at the same one twice. It kept going on like that, even after he was well and truly lost. The only thing that stopped him was a large, neon sign in front of a thick glass door. It read "Master Merlin's Joke Shoppe". The shop's displays were full of snake filled cans, faux mustaches, joy buzzers, water flowers, whoopie cushions, fake lottery tickets, funny sunglasses... the list went on and on.

Axl's eyes became as wide as baseballs, shiny stars dancing in them. "Heaven really _does_ have a place on earth!" he whimpered, (almost) too excited to shout. With a raucous whoop, he dashed into the shop.

Even in his wildest dreams, the navy reploid had never imagined that he would see such a storehouse of prankster wares. After the initial shock, Axl ran down the first aisle he could, grinning madly. He took stock of each and every item, his devious mind thinking up possible pranking situations for them, and for the most part, they were at Zero's expense. It wasn't until he walked down the third aisle, his carrot hair bobbing, that he met anyone else.

"Huh? What're you doin' here, Dark?"

The guardian quickly turned around, a look of surprise on his face. "What? Oh, er, I was just-"

"You weren't looking for a present for little ole' me, were you?" He asked slyly. Phantom was about to (attempt) an answer when Axl cut him off again.

"Oh, never mind, I don't want you to ruin the fun!" he turned around, heading towards the entrance. If Phantom was going to get him a gift, he didn't want to see it! It was always more fun to guess!

"Actually I wasn't. I was just, er, looking for gift ideas. I didn't know you liked jokes..." Phantom uttered quietly. Axl stopped dead in his tracks, his head slowly turning to look back at Phantom.

"Of _course_ I like jokes! Didn't Zero ever tell you?" he yelled. Some other store-goers gave him strange looks, but kept to their own affairs. In a second, Axl was back in front of Phantom. "I don't just _like _them, I _love_ 'em! Live 'em! A day without jokes is a day not worth living! Zero _had_ to have told you that!" he ranted on, oblivious of the world around him.

"Actually, Zero hasn't really told _any_ of us anything." he muttered. "He's been locked up in that room of his for months, whenever he isn't working..."

"And just why do you think he's been locked up?" Axl asked pointedly.

"Well, I always thought that it was because he doesn't like to socialize."

"Eh, that too, but it's because I'm back!" Axl leaned forwards, whispering in Phantom's ear, "He's secretly scared of me!"

Phantom snorted derisively, "Scared? Of you? I highly doubt that! As far as I know, he isn't scared of anything!"

"You don't know that much then. He's scared of me, all right. As well he should be, after all the jokes I've pulled on him!" Axl boasted with a wide smile.

"Yeah right, I've tried numerous times to prank him, and it never works."

"That's 'cause you're not using your head!" Axl poked his head with a finger, "You can't get him if you don't try something original! He's wise to all the classics!"

"I put tar in his conditioner, and even that didn't work! If that's not original, then strike me down." Phantom opened his arms wide, as if waiting for something to happen.

"Of course it's not original! I already got him with that one 17 times!"

"What? _17 times_!" Phantom spluttered. His eyes shot wide open, and he gazed at Axl in awe.

"That's what I said! I've gotta admit though, the first time was the funniest." Axl replied, dreamily remembering the day. "Good times... _Good_ times..."

Without warning, Phantom placed his arm over Axl's shoulders, showing off an unusually wide smirk. "Hey kid, nice job! Maybe I'll take you in as an apprentice, hmm?" he joked, causing Axl to become defensive.

"If you couldn't prank Zero even once, then I see no reason to become _your_ apprentice! I'm perfectly fine on my own!"

"A pity..." Phantom sighed, frowning. "It's so hard for a ninja like me to get a good apprentice these days..."

"_You're_ a _ninja_?" Axl gasped. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Phantom smiled. He had the kid right where he wanted him! "Of course I'm a ninja! Why do you think my name is Phantom?"

"I dunno, I thought you were just afraid of the light."

Phantom's temple bulged, but he bit back a retort. Deciding digression was the better part of valor, he moved on. "So whatta you say, kid, want to be my apprentice?"

"Do I ever!" was the gleeful response.

"Then come along, we've got a lot of work to do!" Phantom marched towards the door, beckoning with his hand for Axl to follow.

"But Dark..."

"What?" Phantom turned, his smile slightly smaller.

"What about the Christmas shopping?"

"Oh, right, the shopping..." he replied. He'd completely forgotten about it! "Well, we'll do that first, _then _we'll get to work. Sound good?"

"Yup!"

"Then off we go!" he cried jubilantly, heading towards the door. Axl followed behind him, and the new partners-in-crime left the store, swallowed by the crowds outside.

X X X X X

Leviathan pranced happily down the mall. Large bags filled with goods bumped against each other and her side, rustling gently. She had to admit, she was pretty good at shopping. She headed for the nearest bench, then sat down. All that shopping had tired her out!

"Wow, today was a good day..." she exclaimed to herself. Leviathan gazed around the mall, watching the actions of the many different passer-bys. After a few visual sweeps of her surroundings, her eyes rested on a booth not far from where she sat.

"A gift-wrapping booth! How convenient!" she got up, grabbed her bags, and headed towards it. The booth's clerk saw her arrive.

"Hello, mam. Would you like me to wrap those for you?"

"Yes please!" she replied. Leviathan handed the clerk her bags.

"It may take a while to wrap all of these. Are you alright with that?" asked the clerk.

"Yup, I'm fine with that." Leviathan nodded. After the clerk took the gifts, Leviathan paid her and walked back to the bench. Just as she sat down, she yawned.

"Phwoooaaww... Geeze, I'm tired." her eyelids began to droop as she leaned back in the seat. "Maybe a little nap won't hurt..." she said as she succumbed to sleep.

From one level above, Harpuia and Fefnir watched her fall asleep.

"Good ole Levi, sleeps anywhere she feels like." laughed Fefnir. Harpuia smirked beside him.

"A sign of these peaceful times, I suppose. But perhaps one of us should still stay and watch her?"

Fenfir snorted. "I think she's more of a danger to others than they are to her."

"A valid point. Let's keep shopping, then." Harpuia drifted off into the crowd.

"Oi! Wait up!" Fefnir ran after him, nearly tripping on a potted plant in his path.

Zero stubbornly stood outside the shop, his arms crossed unmoving across his chest. In one hand he held a bag, the other was being tugged on by X.

"I am _not_ going in there."

"Get a grip, Zed, it's only a plushie store!"

"And what will everyone think when I go inside there?"

"Quit worrying, guys go in there to get their girlfriend's presents all the time."

"But I don't have a girlfriend!"

"No, you just have two girls who compete voraciously for your attention. Now get a move on, time's a-wastin'!"

"Why do I have to go in there, anyways?"

"Because of those two girls that like you so much! Weren't you listening to me?"

"Sorry, I didn't hear you, could you repeat that?"

"Oh for the love of... Fine then, if you're too afraid to enter this silly shop, then I guess we'll have to move on."

"Who are you calling afraid?" Zero shot back angrily. He uncrossed his arms, bulling past his friend to get to the shop, "I'll show you that I'm not afraid!"

X laughed to himself, rolling his eyes. "Knew that'd get him," he whispered, then followed Zero into the store.

The store was filled with vibrant colours, numerous round and shiny eyes stared out at the world from the shelves stocked with hordes of large and small stuffed animals. Some were fluffy, poofy, furry, shaggy, or an impossible combination of all of the above. The plushies were in the form of every animal imaginable, and then some. A few of them held items, like flowers, candies, smaller animals... And hearts.

Zero's eyes were drawn to a single line filled with large, soft huggables. It wasn't really the hearts they held that drew his eyes, but the fact that they were based on cyber-elves. He smirked.

"I think I just found Ciel's present."

"And Levi's." X added, walking up beside him. He went and picked up a frog elf plushie, ridiculously oversized and sporting eyes that could make the hardest criminal go soft. Zero picked up an orange fox-shaped one, with cutely slanting lines in place of eyes.

"But wouldn't that count as getting them the same thing?" he asked.

"Nah, it'll be okay." X replied as he walked towards the till. "Now come and pay for these."

"Don't get your wings outta wack, Elf, I'm coming." Zero headed over to the counter as well.

"Wings out of wack? That's a new one." X said as Zero stopped beside him.

"I thought it was appropriate, considering your name." Zero smiled, then turned to the cashier. He paid for the stuffies, then had them put in a bag. The bag was nearly half his height because of the size of the two stuffed animal elves.

"Yes, well, the guardians are going to regret calling me that, once I'm done with them." he retorted. As the two turned and left the store, X suddenly stopped, then ran back in. After a minute, he reappeared. Zero gave him a confused look, which X answered by bringing out the small stack of resumes.

"You never know." X stated.

"Opportunist." Zero grumbled.

"Better than being broke."

"I suppose that's true. Oh well, back to business." The two friends continued on their way, walking slowly so that they didn't miss seeing any deals.

Phantom and Axl wandered down the mall, their Christmas shopping finished. By agreement, they had decided not to get anything for each other, deciding instead that they would save their money for their "Pranking fund" (as Axl affectionately put it). They had just dropped their gifts off at a wrapping booth when Axl spotted Leviathan.

"Hey, would ya look at that!" he pointed out to Phantom. But when Axl faced him, he found that Phantom was preoccupied talking with the booth's clerk. A devious idea crossed his mind. He giggled darkly and crept over to his target. Quickly looking around to see if he was being watched, (which he wasn't) he leaned forward and gently placed his index finger on her forehead. After concentrating, it began to glow slightly at the tip, a side-effect of acquiring her DNA.

When he was nearly finished, he looked around again for people who may have seen him. No one had, but to his horror, Phantom was only milliseconds away from turning around and discovering his scheme. The _DNA acquired_ notice popped up just as Phantom's eyes moved...

Axl made a sudden move. He began poking her repeatedly, attempting to cover up his actions. He feigned ignorance as Phantom came towards him, feeling his hand land on his shoulder.

"Axl, what are you doing to my sister?"

The navy trickster acted as though he was surprised that Phantom had grabbed him. "Well, she wasn't moving, so I was just seeing if she was okay."

Phantom exhaled exasperatingly. "Poking someone isn't the best way to find that out, you know." his hand lifted, and he moved beside Axl. "And besides, if you had taken the time to look, she's breathing in a manner that's characteristic of a sleeping person. Which I thought would have been obvious."

Axl left out an inward sigh of relief. "Oops. Guess I've got some work to do if I'm gonna become a ninja."

"You certainly do. But it's no big deal."

"It was fun while it lasted, though." Axl mumbled. He gazed around the mall for something interesting to do, but seeing nothing, decided to sit down. He squeezed in on one side of the bench, while Phantom sat between him and Leviathan.

"Guess we just wait now, hey?" He said to Phantom. However, Phantom was once again not listening, as he'd also fallen asleep.

Axl pouted. That was the third time today that he was ignored! He crossed his arms, suddenly interested in revenge plots. It wasn't until ten minutes later, when the clerk at the booth signaled for him, that his thoughts strayed elsewhere. He got up and headed towards the stall.

"Are you friends with that lady there?" the clerk asked as he arrived.

"Sorta..." he replied.

"Then could you take these to her, please?" Axl was handed her bags of wrapped gifts, "she dropped them off here, but when I was done with them, she was asleep. I didn't want to wake her up, though."

"Probably would've been the death of ya. Don't worry, Ill take these to her."

"Thank you. That's really appreciated. Oh, by the way, yours are done too. Would you like them?"

"Eh, sure, why not?"

Axl regretted his words immediately. As the clerk gave him back the presents, he found that he was very nearly unable to walk. He waddled over to the bench, then sat down to try and make the load a little easier to deal with.

"Aww, nuts." he complained as he was buried under the goods. Axl couldn't move because of the weight (and in case he accidentally broke any of the gifts). He was stuck.

Again...

Fefnir and Harpuia nearly burst out laughing at what they saw.

Zero was stood not far from they were, holding a large pile of boxes and bags. He couldn't see anywhere, since the stack was too high for him to look over. It was a stable pile, although it was still rocking precariously due to his movements. A pair of small children were harassing him, running around him and causing all sorts of mischief. X was trying to calm them down, but whenever he got too close to one of them, they sprinted away from him, often running between Zero's legs to get an obstacle between them and him. Which only caused more grief for Zero.

"Oh dear, we'd better go help them." Harpuia managed to say, doing his level best not to giggle.

"No, wait, there's something we have to do first." Fefnir reached into his pocket, bringing out a cell phone. He aimed it at Zero, taking a shot with its camera.

"Now we can go help him." Fefnir grinned. Harpuia returned the gesture, then began trotting towards the assailed pair.

"Need a hand?" he inquired when he was within range. X looked over at him, and one of the children took the opportunity to scurry back towards Zero.

"That would be appreciated, thanks." he replied.

Fefnir ran up beside Harpuia. "What are they attacking him for?"

"They think he looks like Zero." X told them. The other two nodded knowingly, until they were interrupted by Zero.

"Uh, guys..."

"What?" they asked as they turned to him.

"Would you mind taking this one off my head, please?" Sure enough, the smaller of the two children, who was around four years old, had somehow managed to get up on the unfortunate reploid's head.

"Oh, right, right away." X went back to his friend, grabbing the child. But as he pulled the kid off, he held on to a large bunch of Zero's hair. Fefnir brought out his camera again as X attempted to pull him away from Zero, but the child had other ideas. He gamely held on to the blond lock as X tried to loosen him. Zero shut his eyes against the pain of having his hair almost ripped from his scalp. It was only after Fefnir had gotten several good shots that Zero was saved.

"Joshua, let that man's hair go!" The boy instantly let go. The other child ran over to her mom as she hurried over to the group, apologizing profusely.

"I'm sorry, I should have taken better care of them, I only looked away for one minute-"

"It's okay, mam, no permanent harm done." Harpuia cut in, taking the boy from X and handing him to her.

"Tell that to my hair." Zero muttered.

"Thank you, sirs. I'm really sorry..." She said as she took the children away. As she left, the four men could hear her chiding her children.

"What did I tell you about running off?"

"But mom, that man was Zero!"

"Zero? Now Joshua, don't lie."

"But he's telling the truth!"

"Not you too, Sandy. Now come on, we have to go find your father."

"But-!"

"No buts, now come along."

"Awww..."

Their voices faded into the crowds', and Zero sighed with relief. "Thank the fates that _that's_ over." X bobbed his head in agreement.

Fefnir turned to Zero. "Thanks for the quality pictures, buddy." he taunted as he held up the camera.

"Oh, you didn't-! You delete those right now!"

"Maybe later."

"Why you-!"

"Uh, guys, what time is it?" X suddenly asked. The others stopped their bickering as Harpuia looked at a big mall clock.

"Um, it's ten to five. We need to go and find the others before the mall closes." he responded, sounding slightly urgent.

"Right!" They ran off, searching for their friends. After approximately seven minutes of dashing about the mall (Zero was able to balance his load since he wasn't being harassed anymore), they found two of them.

"Hey, Dark! Levi! Wake up!" Fefnir shouted at them. The two woke up with a snort, blinking around rapidly to find the ones who'd called.

"Phwoooaaawwo... what're you yelling about, bro? Phantom groggily complained.

"Unlike you, we were paying attention to the time." Harpuia replied. Phantom became alert immediately, while Leviathan yawned again.

"Hey guys, what's up?"

"Nearly being late to leave the mall, that's what." Zero retorted. The two sitting on the bench got up, Phantom looking around.

"Huh? Where did Axl go?" he asked.

"Oh shit, Axl! We forgot about him!" Zero spun around, and was about to dash away in search of the navy reploid when the pile of gifts next to Phantom moved.

"Leviathan, I thought we agreed no pets." Harpuia said as he crossed his arms. Leviathan was about to protest when the pile groaned.

"Oooooh, why do I feel like fat guy's bed?" Axl's head popped out from under the pile, and he looked down after a quick peek at his surroundings. "Oh. That would be why."

"No kidding." Zero commented, somewhat in shock at the amount of weight that Axl had endured. "Looks like you need a hand."

"Yeah, I _might_ just be thankful for that." was the sarcastic return. The others came forward, taking the gifts off of him. Axl, after being freed from his burden, stood up and stretched.

"Man, it feels good to be free!" he swung his arms, then leaned down to touch his shoes. An announcement monotonously rang from the mall's PA system.

"The mall is now closing. Please finish your purchases and leave the building."

"Okay, let's go!" Axl cried jubilantly, then headed towards the nearest exit.

"Hold on, what about helping us with these gifts?" Zero asked.

"Screw that, I'm not getting stuck with that lot again!" he began running, while Zero's face took on a reddish shade.

"Get back here, you little twerp!" he roared as he gave chase.

"C'mon, guys, we'd better follow them." X mumbled. He grabbed some of the gifts while the guardians got the rest, then they followed the path the runners took.

_Christmas day_

Small, fluffy ice crystals drifted by the frosted window. The snow landed soundlessly on the ground outside, muffling the footsteps of anyone walking nearby. The air inside Zero's room was colder than usual, a chill that didn't bother him one bit. In fact, the total silence it brought was a relief from the usual chaos he tolerated. The gifts he bought yesterday were now wrapped, set on either his desk or floor (depending on their size). Soft light crept in through the window, giving his room a calm and soothing atmosphere.

Zero blinked, then yawned. He turned in his bed, shuffling further under the covers. They were soft and warm, adding to the peace of the morning. The red reploid delved deeper into the comfort of his bed, content with the quiet.

"WAKE UUUUUUUPPP!"

Something landed heavily on his bed, causing the mattress to launch Zero into the air. He landed with a _sproing_, bouncing again before he got himself under control.

"What'sgoingonwho'stherewhere'sthefire?" he garbled out in his confusion.

"IT'S FINALLY TIME! IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY! GET UP ALREADY!" Axl yelled. He had an enormous, goofy grin plastered on his face. Axl began jumping around like a puppy, somehow managing to stay on the bed. "It's Christmas, it's Christmas, it's finally Christmas!" he chanted, finally hopping of the bed and bounding down the hall with cartwheels, backflips and more.

Zero groaned, clutching his stomach where Axl had launched off of it. He got up, rubbing his eyes to dispel his fatigue. Another yawn, and he stood up, groping around for his clothes. After grabbing a shirt, a coat, and some sweatpants, he leaned out of his room to see what was going on.

"I see you're finally up, Zero." Zero turned towards Ciel's voice. She was wearing a different dress than usual, red with fuzzy white trim. Her hair hung in a loose ponytail, tied up in a puffy white scrunchie. Beside her, Allouette wore a similar outfit, with a big red bow instead of the scrunchie. Even her cat toy was "dolled" up, with a green and red woven collar and a pair of jingle bells.

"No thanks to Axl." he replied. Zero stretched, reaching his arms towards the ceiling.

"He's been pretty excited since the moment he woke up." Beside Ciel, Allouette looked up.

"But isn't Uncle Axl _always_ excited?" she asked.

"True, true..." Ciel replied. She patted Allouette on the head. "Now, weren't you going to go play with someone?"

"Oh right! Grandpa Andrew was going to take Perroquiet and Menart and me sledding!" Allouette dashed off, leaving Ciel alone with Zero. They both smiled as she left.

"Just think, Zero, not long ago, those children and Andrew would have been retired if they'd left the safety of the base... But thanks to you, they're safe to do what they wish."

Zero blushed, "Come on, Ciel, you already thanked me a thousand times for that. It was nothing-"

"Oh, so falling alongside an exploding space cannon through the earth's atmosphere is nothing? Not to mention your other achievements." she pointed out.

"Am I _ever_ going to win this argument?"

"Not when I'm around." she stated with a smirk.

"Trust me Zero, whenever someone starts a fight, if a woman's there, she'll finish it."

Zero turned and blinked at Leviathan. "Where did you come from?"

"From where we're going." She grabbed Zero's arm and began pulling him down the hall (similar to the way she did yesterday). Ciel ran and caught up.

"Just where do you think you're going?"

"To the Christmas party at our house. Why do you ask?"

"Because you're kidnapping my best guardian, that's why."

Beneath Leviathan's headlock, Zero was struggling to escape. "Don't I get... a say in this?" he gasped.

"Nope," Leviathan cheerfully answered, "and neither does Ciel."

Ciel looked puzzled. "What do you mean by that?"

"She means that you can either come willingly, or be taken very unceremoniously." Phantom had snuck up behind them, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Look, I'd _love_ to come to the party, but there are things I need to get done here first!"

Cerveau leaned out of his laboratory's door as they passed. "And who says that I can't get them done? Go on and have some fun, I _dare_ anyone to say that you don't deserve it."

"How many more people are going to get involved in our conversation?" Zero asked the ceiling.

"A lot more, if you keep taking the main route through the base." Hirondelle said as he walked past.

"Me and my big mouth." Zero grumbled.

"He has a point, though. If we keep along the main drag, we'll probably get a lot of attention." Phantom noted.

Ciel giggled, "That's why Hirondelle is our intelligence expert!"

The group stopped. Leviathan finally released Zero, and they all looked around for a faster way of getting through the base. Ahead and to their right was a hallway.

"Where does that lead to?" asked Leviathan.

"Mostly the storehouses and the garage." Zero replied.

Phantom nodded, "Good then. You take Ciel and head over to our house while we go look for X and Axl."

"But Phantom...!" Leviathan complained.

"Don't worry, we'll catch up with Zero later. We've gotta grab his presents too, right? Now come on." he said, taking her hand and heading back the way they came.

Zero raised his eyebrows. "They want Axl at the party?"

"Something wrong with that?" Ciel wondered.

"Should've brought my armor..."

"Come on, he can't be that bad!" Ciel laughed as she arrived at the hall.

"You don't know Axl." Zero followed her, and they went down the corridor to the garages.

X X X

Zero's hoverbike raced across the frozen countryside, creating a wave of snow behind them. The freezing wind slashed at their faces, and the snowflakes falling from the sky danced around them. An endless sheet of white blanketed the land, but fortunately, Zero's bike had a GPS. They arrived at the house, parking by the gate.

Ciel let go of Zero and got off the bike, rubbing her hands together and breathing out little clouds. "Brr! It's so chilly!"

Zero swung his legs over the bike's side, jumping off to land beside Ciel. "A good thing we brought our coats then, hmm?"

"A very good thing."

They trudged up to the house, following a path of trampled snow to the door. When there, they knocked. A minute later, Harpuia answered the door.

"Ah, Zero, Ciel, you've arrived. So good that you could come."

"Not that we had much choice." smiled Ciel. From behind Harpuia, Fefnir roared happily.

"Zero! Ciel! You're here! That's great! Now could you shut the door already, you're lettin' the heat out!"

"Yes, yes, just give us a second to get in, won't ya?" Zero yelled back. Harpuia moved aside as the two entered the home, then shut the door behind them.

"Pardon him, he's in the other room setting up for the party. We're mostly done, but there's still a few wrinkles to even out." Harpuia stated. Zero and Ciel took off their sodden coats, and Harpuia pointed to a coat rack. It was to the left of the door, and was set up with a towel under its base. Zero stole Ciel's coat and took it to the rack, along with his own. Ciel protested.

"I'm perfectly capable of hanging up my own coat, you know."

"But I'm already here, am I not?" he smirked.

Ciel smiled as she shook her head. "Men..."

Just then, they heard sound of a fist banging on the door. Harpuia went over and opened it, letting Axl, X, Phantom and Leviathan enter the house. He closed the door when they were all in.

"You're looking a bit wet." Harpuia observed. All four of them were, as Harpuia had said, soaking wet.

"Blame Axl, he's the one that fell off his bike." Leviathan grumbled, pointing at Axl. After looking at him again, Zero noticed that Axl was indeed wetter than the others, also sporting a cap of snow and slush.

"It wasn't my fault! You guys were going too fast! Besides, how was I supposed to know that the snow was a meter thick?"

"'Cause you fell into it!"

"C'mon guys, it really isn't his fault." X defended. "How was he supposed to know that we'd hop off our bikes to get him out?"

"Oh, I don't know, because he asked us to!"

"Cut it off, you three" Phantom interrupted, "now that we're here, we can go dry off." Phantom yanked off his vest, placing it on the rack, and headed upstairs. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go to my room to get a dry shirt." As he turned the corner on the top hall, he was seen trying to get his shirt off (the water had plastered it onto him).

"He's got a good idea. See you in a bit!" Leviathan winked at Zero as she ran up the stairs.

"Do either of you need a spare shirt?" Harpuia asked.

Axl shivered violently, which turned into a full-out splattering of droplets as he shook the water off of himself. "Nah, I'm good." he grinned, dryer than he had been.

X flicked one of the droplets of water away his arm. "I wouldn't mind one, though."

Harpuia crossed his arms, looking down at the new wet spots on his shirt. "Very well, follow me. I may be needing a new one, too." he and X went towards Harpuia's room (which was also upstairs).

That left Zero, Axl, and Ciel alone in the entrance. "So whatta we do now?" asked the navy trickster.

"You could get your butts in here and help me set up!" Fefnir called from the end of the lower hallway. The trio sighed, then left towards where Fefnir's voice had come from.

Half an hour later, those that went to get new shirts arrived in the room. Zero was perched precariously on Fefnir's shoulders, both putting the finishing touches on the Christmas tree. Ciel was mixing the punch, monitoring Axl as he looked longingly at the rum-and-eggnog.

"No, Axl, you're too young for alcohol."

"But I'm over a hundred years old!"

"Like I said, you're too young. Age isn't a measure of maturity, you know."

"Fine, fine." Axl muttered, backing off and heading towards the TV, which was showing a yule log. "But that means you can't have any either..."

"What was that?"

"Hey, look who's finally arrived!" Fefnir half turned towards the door, waving. Zero, who had just finished putting the star on the tree, wobbled around frantically to keep his balance. The result was that both of them fell to the ground in a heap.

"Oof!"

"Gwah!"

They thrashed on the floor in a tangle of limbs and garlands. Finally, after a minute or two of struggling, they broke free. Zero still had a garland wrapped around his head.

"Sorry, did we come at a bad time?" Leviathan asked.

"No, no, perfectly fine, not a problem." Fefnir replied sarcastically.

"Geeze, I was only asking." Leviathan walked forward, picking up Zero and hugging him. "Did you miss me while I was gone?"

"I may have missed you _being _gone..." he mumbled under his breath.

Leviathan let him go, not having heard the comment. She reached into one of her jean's pockets, taking out two Santa hats. She took one, putting it on, then took the other and shoved onto his head. "Look what I got for you!"

Zero lifted the rim of the hat so he could see, "A Santa hat? What's this for?"

"For the holidays, silly! You can keep it, if you like!"

"Uh, sure, thanks."

He shifted the hat around so that it was more comfortable. Harpuia and X, who were holding the presents from Zero's room, went over to the tree, placing the presents below it. They blended in with the other presents.

"There we are! The last of the presents are ready to be opened!" X pronounced triumphantly. He stood up, slapping dust off of his hands.

"Then let's open them!" shouted Axl. He rushed to the refreshment table, grabbed a glass of punch, and sat down by the tree. He looked at them (the group was still standing up) with a _what are you waiting for_ look.

"Eh, we might as well." Fefnir sat down. He shuffled around, then began sifting through the presents.

"Perhaps we should sort them into piles first?" Harpuia asked.

"That would be advisable." Phantom added.

The group grabbed some drinks, then set to the task. After a few moments later, they were done. 8 separate piles were spread across the floor, their respective owners sitting beside them. A couple of them looked at their piles eagerly.

"Who's going to go first?" asked Zero nervously.

"ME!" shouted Fefnir and Axl, diving into their piles.

"I think the question is who will be last?" Phantom observed. He too began ruffling through his gifts. Soon, everyone was looking at their different gifts, some with more abandon than others. Zero looked at his pile, picking out a long, thin box. Unused to the amount of presents, he opened it slowly, more interested in what the others were doing than what he was.

After several minutes, it was finally opened. He lifted it out. It was a red tie, silky in feel. Looking at the box, he saw it was from Harpuia.

"Do you like it?" Zero looked up at Harpuia's voice.

"Uh, yeah, I do. Don't have one of these..." he replied. Harpuia smiled and nodded, returning to his own business.

"Aww, look at this! It's so cute!" Leviathan snuggled the cyber-elf plushie, even though it wasn't fully out of its wrapping.

"Mine's cuter!" Ciel shot out, hugging her own plushie and sticking her tongue out at Leviathan.

"Is not!" Leviathan replied, returning Ciel's gesture. She turned to Zero, smiling sweetly. "Thank you, Zero!"

"Thank you!" Ciel echoed.

"Ur, yeah, no problem." Zero said in return. He shyly turned away from the looks of the girls, suddenly more interested in a stray garland on the ground.

"Something wrong, buddy?" Fefnir asked. He was buried in a bunch of wrapping paper, apparently searching for a gift he's dropped. "You've barely touched your stuff, there."

"No, nothing's wrong. I guess I'm just not used to this many gifts..." he responded meekly.

Axl popped out of his own horde of crinkling wrapping paper, grinning mischievously. "Zero the He-ro's as shy as a fly-y!"

The box that used to contain the tie whacked Axl loudly on the head. He fell backwards into the paper as Zero's temple bulged.

"I am _not _shy, I'm just not used to this many gifts!" he repeated angrily. The rest of the group chuckled as Axl tried to sit up, swaying. Ciel looked over at Zero's pile.

"Fefnir's right though, Zero, you've barely touched your gifts. We've almost finished ours." She hugged the plushie tighter with one hand, using her other to feel some new pearl earrings.

"Who gave you those?" Zero asked her as she let go of the intricate ear jewelery.

"I did!" Axl smiled smugly. "Turns out that a honking big diamond sells for a really huge sum!" He brought out a gold necklace from under his shirt. It had a large red diamond in it, perfectly spherical and with the diameter of a large coin. "Even if you don't sell all of it!" he placed the necklace back under his shirt.

"What did you do with the rest of the money?" X inquired, rubbing his unique broach with a gem embedded in it.

"I put in in a bank."

"Good for you! That was a responsible thing to do." Zero added. "I'm kinda surprised, actually."

"I only put it in there so you wouldn't nag me about it." Axl frowned, crossing his arms.

"Which is still good, since it saves me the trouble of dragging you to the bank."

Out of nowhere, Leviathan stalked over, seeming displeased. She arrived in front of Zero, pointing at him forcefully. "You're changing the subject. You still have presents to open!"

"Wha-? Me, change the subject? Never! I just got sidetracked, that's all."

X smirked at Zero, "If I remember correctly, you always change the subject when it's something about you. _Especially_ when I used to ask about who made you."

"It's a touchy subject!"

"_Riiiight_..." X replied, unconvinced, "C'mon Zero, it's not like you were made by an insane scientist bent on world domination or whatever. I'm your BF, you can tell me!"

Zero shrank behind his presents. "Like I said, it's a touchy subject, X."

"And again, you're changing the subject!" Leviathan threw her hands in the air, frustrated. "When are you actually gonna open your presents?"

"It wasn't me that changed the subject! Blame X!"

"Trust me, _no one_ believes you when you blame him." Axl added sagely. X shot him a dirty look, while Leviathan sat down in front of Zero's pile, picking up a present.

"Excuses excuses, my present is next. And since you took so long to open yours, we're gonna watch you open every one. Kapeesh?"

Zero only shrank further behind his pile, looking dejected. Axl sang out tauntingly.

"Zero the hero is acting so shy, when his girlfriend came over, he started to cry!"

A Christmas ornament shattered on Axl's head, sending him flying back to his paper pile. Zero's misery was forgotten as he attempted to get past Leviathan to massacre his friend.

"Damnit Axl, I don't have a girlfriend!" he roared. Leviathan held him back.

"You don't have one _yet_..." she whispered slyly to herself. Zero calmed down, sitting back down behind his pile and pouting.

"Sorry about the ornament." he stated, uncaring.

"No worries, it was worth it." Phantom replied, hiding a notebook behind his back. He looked over at the still KO'ed Axl.

"Totally." Fefnir said, also looking at Axl. "I think he'll be out for the count, though."

Axl suddenly blinked, sitting up instantly. "I'm alright!"

"Never underestimate the regenerative powers of an idiot." Zero muttered as the guardians and Ciel looked at Axl with astonishment. Axl, oblivious to his injuries, stared over at Zero.

"Weren't you going to open your presents now?"

"Right." he nodded. He took the present from Leviathan's hand, fingering the folds in the wrapping. A rip later, and he was looking at a package of ribbons.

"For your hair!" she said in response to his confused look. He took one of the ribbons and tied it around his hair, careful to tie the knot tightly.

"I haven't seen your hair in a ponytail for ages. Brings back memories," X mentioned as Zero finished tying. Axl smiled enormously.

"Yeah, you used to always tie your hair. That is, until that one time I pranked you."

"Don't remind me." Zero sulked. Axl ignored him entirely.

"Oh, that was the day. I put a snake in your box of ribbons to give you a little jolt. But you weren't looking when you grabbed a ribbon and put it on! Hah, you should've _seen_ yourself dancing to get that thing out! I wish I'd brought a camera!" he laughed. Everyone but Zero laughed along with him.

"Poor little snake was probably scared to bits!" Ciel giggled.

"Yah, and it bit him because of that! Then he was swinging his arm around to get it off, and of course it let go and sailed right back into his hair..."

"The rookies were scared to death. They thought the yelling was the bogeyman, believe it or not!" X chortled.

"Yes, well, can we move on now?" Zero asked impatiently. The others tried to stop their laughing, Ciel gasping for breath.

"Yes, uh, moving on." Harpuia coughed, trying to regain his composure. Phantom, who'd finished scribbling on his notebook, nodded in agreement. Zero grabbed the next gift on his pile.

The present, as Zero could tell from the packaging, was a poorly wrapped T-shirt. He tore open the bright foil paper, unfolding the orange shirt. It read "I'm hot", and had a little yellow and red flame beneath the writing. "Uh, thanks..." Zero muttered. Fefnir didn't seem to hear the forced nicety in his voice, as he beamed.

"Knew you'd like it! I saw it and thought it was cool, so I got it for you!"

"Yeah, I'll be sure to wear it sometime..." _under a thick jacket_ thought Zero.

"Mine's next." Phantom leaned forward, picking up a cylindrical present with a curly bow on top.

Zero took off the paper, fingering the plastic lid. He knew what would come next. Zero opened the can, not even flinching as multicoloured snakes sprang from inside. Everyone else except Axl and Phantom jumped slightly as the snakes flew.

Axl leaned over to whisper in Phantom's ear, "72 times, buddy. Sorry."

"Eh, it was worth a shot." Phantom replied. He reached into his pocket, grabbing a small parcel. "Hey Zero, sorry about that. Must've gotten my packages mixed up."

"Like hell you did." Zero glared. Phantom tossed over the parcel and Zero caught it deftly. He opened it, revealing a delicately engraved but strong looking comb. Zero's brows raised. "Wow, what a coincidence! My brush broke just two days ago. Thanks, Phantom!"

Phantom scratched his hair, smiling, "Well, I heard that you needed a new comb, so..."

"I didn't tell anyone I needed a comb." Zero responded, nonplussed.

"Oh, er, well, your hair was looking a little messy." Phantom said quickly. Zero gave him a suspicious look, but let the matter drop. Instead, he turned back to his presents, picking out one in a blue bag.

"Three guesses who that was from." Phantom murmured loudly. X glanced over at him, then chortled.

"Yup, that's from me, Z. Hope you like it!"

"I'm sure I will," Zero nodded. He placed his hand in the bag, taking out some small brushes, a microfiber rag, and a small container of polish. "For my armor, right X? You know me way too well!" Zero laughed, placing the items back into the bag.

"Yup! For your armor! And small enough to take with you on the road."

"Me next, me next!" Axl cheered. He leapt forward from his pile, accidentally bringing a few scrunched-up paper balls with him. After grabbing the larger of the two remaining gifts, he handed it expectantly to Zero. His eyes had a puppy-like shine to them again.

The red hero took the package, stripping a ribbon off the little gold-coloured box. He opened it, then took out a gold pendant and an intricate chain. The pendant was fair-sized, shaped like a sword with a small red gem in the hilt.

"That diamond is another piece off of the one I found! Couldn't think of another jewel that suited you better."Axl chirped as Zero put the necklace on. "The gold is strong enough to be used as a letter opener, too!"

"Hey, thanks Axl!" Zero replied. He patted Axl on the head, causing him to grin broadly. Axl retreated joyfully to his pile, swatting at some of the paper balls on his way back.

"And last but not least..." Zero picked up the last gift gently. Ciel smiled as Zero opened it up, slowly taking off the wrapping and opening the tin that was concealed within. Inside the festive tin was a gift card.

"I'm sorry Zero, I really didn't know what to get you." she mumbled. Zero looked over at her.

"And what's wrong with that? I'll just pick something up on the way home, that's all. Thank you for the gift!"

She blushed, happy that he was satisfied with the card. Zero put the tin's lid back on.

"Now, was that so hard?" Harpuia said. "It seems that all of your presents are open. And without a fuss, too!"

"Hey, does that mean we can have some fun now?" Fefnir asked.

"I don't see why not." X pointed out. Harpuia nodded after X finished.

Fefnir whooped, "Yeah! Time for fun!" he jumped up, heading over to the beverages, "and alcohol!"

Phantom shook his head resignedly, then followed Fefnir's lead. The rest of the group did the same as they poured themselves drinks, grabbed snacks, and started up conversations. Despite his best efforts, Zero remained apprehensive, staying more on the outer edges of his yakking friends and simply sipping his drink or answering someone when they addressed him. This carried on for some time, until Ciel's cellphone rang.

"I'm sorry, excuse me for a moment please," she said, heading for the hall. When Zero noticed her go, he followed her. She talked to someone on her cellphone for a few minutes, then hung up. As she turned around, Zero addressed her.

"Who was that?" he questioned.

"That was Cerveau. He asked me to be at the base in a few hours to light up the tree there. Something about the soldiers saying that the boss had to be there or else they'd use Cerveau for the star." she giggled.

Zero chuckled, "Knowing those guys, it's no empty threat."

"Especially if the cyber elves help them," she added. "So, when would you like to leave?"

"Huh? Leave?"

"Yes, leave. We could wait an hour, or we can leave now. I've never known you as being one for parties."

"But what about the others?"

"What they don't know won't hurt them. Besides, don't you have a gift card you can use?" she smiled. Zero returned the gesture.

"Then let's get the heck outta here!" He turned and went back into the room. "Hey, Harpy, sorry but we've gotta go. Cerveau needs us to do some errand or other."

Harpuia appeared to be disappointed. "That's a shame, I'd hoped you'd have been able to stay for longer."

"Yeah, well, duty calls." Zero shrugged.

If Harpuia seemed disappointed, Leviathan was doubly so, "That's not fair! Can't you stay a little longer?" her lower lip twitched slightly.

"Sorry, no can do. I'll see you guys later, all right?" Zero moved forward to get his and Ciel's presents, but X stopped him.

"Don't worry about those, Z, I can take care of them." X winked. No one else saw it, but Zero knew that he'd caught on to the ruse. X always covered for him when he had "business" to attend to during a party. Zero acknowledged him with a return wink, smiling.

"Thanks bud, I owe you one."

"Don't mention it." he replied. After a few more goodbyes, Zero left the house, Ciel beside him. They left, heading first towards the base, then veered off towards the mall when out of sight of the house. Not long after, the mall came into view, and they went and parked in a parkade not far off.

The mall was busy, although not as busy as before. Christmas carols rang from the rafters, bright lights and wreaths decorated the paths, and deals were all over the place. Ciel and Zero walked around the mall, looking into various windows. After they'd stopped at a coffee shop to get hot chocolate, they walked past the plushie store.

"So that's where it was from, huh?" she asked, referring to her stuffed animal.

"Yup." he grinned. Then he had a thought.

"Do you think I should get something for Allouette too?"

She turned at him, a surprised but happy look on her face. "I think Allouette would love it if you did. You were always a sort of father figure to her."

Zero walked purposefully into the store. "Then it's settled." He went and picked up a plushie, taking it to the counter. He took out his gift card and paid for it.

As he left the store, Ciel peered at him. "I got that gift card for you, Zero, you don't have to go spending it on other people."

Zero twisted around to face her, giving her a simple smile. "Ciel, I've never been one for material things, so I can't really think of anything to spend it on for me. So spending it on something for Allouette will be more than worth it."

"Why's that?"

"To see the look on her face, of course." he turned to continue their tour of the mall, but Ciel grabbed his arm. Before he could respond, she'd moved and kissed him lightly. She hugged him, relaxing for a while before she spoke.

"Merry Christmas, Zero."

Zero smiled, content with the one small gesture that meant so much."Merry Christmas to you too."

* * *

To all of you readers out there; Merry Christmas, Hanukkah, holidays, whatever. Remember, it's not all about the gifts, it's about family! They may not be there forever, so enjoy every moment that they are!

Okay, enough of the meaningful stuff. On to explaining why it took so long to update. Well, I'd like to see _you_ try and write 26 pages in one week. I either hit a couple writer's blocks face-first (and I have bruises to prove it), or I just didn't have time to do it. But now that it's here, I hope you like it, and feel free to point out if I made any mistakes or "weird sections". Just don't be a (bleep) about it, okay?


	3. Happy Valentine's Day

First of all, I would like to tell you this: _I am not a romance writer_. So if this chapter doesn't meet your standards or expectations, please lower your standards or expectations. Secondly, I would like to say that I'm doing this because some of the people who reviewed Happy Anniversary said I should. And thirdly, my most sincere apologies for making you wait. This was supposed to be released on February the 14th, but, well... Stuff happens. So here it is, the Valentine's episode of Happy Birthday!

* * *

Night was slowly losing the battle against day, fiery colours highlighting the feud. Slowly but surely, the sun broke free of the confines of the horizon, banishing the moon and the darkness to the other side of the sky. Birds awoke and began heralding the victory of light. All across the city, below the vast battleground, people began to arouse. In one particular mansion, the only female occupant was awake rather quickly...

"YAAHOO!" she yelled, waking up every other member of the house with a start. One of them, in black pajamas, woke so suddenly that he jumped right into the light fixture above his bed. Now thoroughly ensnared in it, he sighed, shaking his head.

"Damn, I hate it when she does that," muttered Phantom. Harpuia, now with a saber in his hand, grumbled about stupid siblings, but got up and headed outside his room to investigate. Across the hall, Fefnir was doing the same thing.

"Grnngh... wuz going on? Got any idea, Harpy?" he asked sleepily, turning to his brother.

Harpuia yawned, then realized he had an activated weapon in his hand. After turning it off, he replied, "Nope... 'fraid not. Maybe Phantom does?" he walked the few steps over to his other brother's room, then knocked on the door. "Hey Phantom, got any idea what's going on?"

"Give me a sec!" he yelled through the door. After some grunting and swinging sounds, then a loud thump, Phantom appeared, opening up the way into his room.

"So any ideas?" Fefnir called. Phantom frowned.

"Nope, not really... maybe there's some sort of special occasion going on?" he mused. Harpuia gave him a blank look for a second, then snapped his fingers.

"Oh, yeah! Isn't it-"

"It's Valentine's day, it's Valentine's day! Hip hip hooray, it's Valentine's day!" Leviathan blasted suddenly from out of her room, skipping down the hall towards the stairs and sliding down the banister with a whoop.

"Well, that was a convenient explanation," Phantom chuckled. This earned a short laugh from Fefnir, who went and followed Leviathan down the stairs.

"Don't know what she's so happy about. Oh well, time for breakfast."

Phantom shrugged, quickly following suite. Harpuia threw his sword back onto his bed, then went downstairs with the others.

Light shone in from the window, lighting up the apartment. The bright rays fell onto X's face, causing him to squint and yawn as he woke up. A quick stretch later, he got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. He brushed his hair, the brown locks stubbornly retaining their shape. Then he left the bathroom, walking to the kitchen for some coffee.

X X X X X

From the couch, Axl snorted and shuffled in his sleep. Now in an odd position, he started snoring softly, smacking his lips. X smiled slightly, then turned to the calender, sipping his hot drink. There was a little heart on it, marking the special occasion. He sighed. Yesterday was the only day that Axl had willingly gone to sleep at X's apartment (without having to be convinced or bribed, anyways).

Of all the days in the year, this was the one that even Axl knew not to harass Zero.

X X X X X

Around the Guardian base, most of the members were cheering. Ciel had just ordered a holiday for all the soldiers. Of course, if anything came up, they'd be called back to duty, but it was still a break for everyone. Some people were already making plans with their "special" friends... Others began muttering to each other, reveling in the rumors that had been going on all week. Would Zero finally ask Ciel out, or was there someone else he liked? Information, mostly false or guessed, spread around the base like wildfire.

Ciel was asked multiple times if Zero had "popped the question" yet. She answered as honestly and unassuming as she could every time, but sure enough, she'd be asked the same question only a few minutes later. About 10 o'clock though, she started to get worried. Why was she the one getting asked so much? Weren't any of them going to ask Zero? Ciel took a trip down to Cerveau's lab, answering another question along the way. Once there, she closed the door, leaning against it and sighing.

"What's the matter?" Cerveau asked from across the room. Both his new apprentice, Perroquiet, and the intelligence specialist Hirodelle were with him. They were apparently working on something in the databases.

"It's all of the soldiers out there. I'm sure they don't mean anything by it, but they're really starting to tire me out with all their questions," she replied. Hirondelle nodded sympathetically.

"They're curious about if Zero has asked you out yet. I don't really blame them."

"And they won't stop asking me, no matter how many times I tell them no. What I don't get is why they keep asking me and not Zero!" she groaned.

"Believe it or not, it's because he isn't up yet. He's still shut up in that room of his, as usual," Cerveau answered.

Ciel looked surprised, "But isn't Zero usually up by now? He's never been _this_ late before..."

"Which is another reason why they're so curious," Hirondelle added,"it's because they think he's being shy or trying to get ready for a big date."

"And how do you know that?" Ciel interrogated.

"I _am_ the intelligence expert around here," he boasted. Ciel giggled, agreeing.

"Yes you are, and you do a right good job of it, too. But I'm still worried about Zero... I'm just going to go and check up on him, alright?"

"Alright. Good luck getting past the crowds," Cerveau said. Perroquiet echoed the greeting, but Hirondelle had something else to add.

"Yeah, good luck Ciel. Hey, tell you what, I'll make you a deal. You promise to tell me first if he says something, and I'll do what I can to get them off your back," he offered.

Ciel sighed, "If you can do that, it'll be a miracle. But I promise, I mean, what else can we do?" Turning, she opened the lab door. A small crowd was, as they had suspected, right outside. They began bombarding her with questions, but were soon stopped by Hirondelle, who started weaving tales of what had just happened inside. They sat captivated, listening to him tell them about basically nothing in eloquent words and vibrant sentences. Ciel made her escape.

Tip-toeing through the halls, she arrived quickly at Zero's quarters. She looked around to see if anyone was there (the last thing she needed were more rumors), and satisfied when she saw none, knocked on the door. No reply came forth. She frowned, knocking harder, "Hey, Zero, are you okay in there?"

A low grunt came from within, "Guh? What? What do you want?"

"Zero, you're awake! Don't you know what time it is, we were starting to get worried out here!" Ciel yelled from outside. Inside, he rolled over in bed to look at his clock. Then jumped nearly as high as Phantom.

"Holy geeze, is that the time? Man I overslept! I'll be up right away!" He bolted over to a set of drawers, nearly ripping them out as he grabbed a pair of pants from within. As he put them on, he looked around the room to try and see his calender, and thus, the date. He'd just finished putting on the garment when he saw it. Instantly he stopped rushing, a small pang of memory coming back. Gazing at it, he remembered why he hadn't set his internal alarm as usual. But he soon shook off the feeling.

"Hey, what's taking you so long?" she asked.

"Huh? Oh, nothing. Come on in if you like, the door's unlocked," he reached for the shirt drawer, pulling out a red one.

Ciel entered just as he was putting it on. She blushed instantaneously, stuttering an apology, "Oh, sorry, I didn't know you weren't ready yet..."

He finished putting on his shirt, tugging at the sleeves to make sure that they were adjusted correctly. Then he looked over at her as he grabbed his comb, brushing his hair, "Oh, no worries, I said you could come in, didn't I? I'm the one who should be saying sorry if it offended you-"

"-Oh no, it doesn't bother me at all, really. If you're okay with it, then so am I," she cut in. Zero looked over at her, then rolled his eyes.

"Yeesh, you're as bad as Leviathan." he taunted. This made her face turn red again.

"Wha-? What do you mean, as bad as Leviathan?" she demanded. He laughed, but only for a brief moment. Then he silently returned to brushing his hair, straightening out the rare few knots among the golden strands. Ciel was taken aback by the quick changes in his mood.

"Hey, Zero, are you feeling alright?" she asked cautiously. He didn't respond, apparently engrossed in brushing out now non-existent knots. So Ciel, getting a little curious as to his behavior, decided to get his attention.

"Zero!" she yelled slightly. He straightened up immediately, darting his eyes around for the source of the disturbance. Ciel sighed, tapping his shoulder to direct his attention to the right place.

"Oh... it's just you. Sorry, guess I forgot you were there," he said when he saw her. They stared at each other for a moment, then he turned away to root through his box of ribbons (carefully).

Ciel was beginning to get really concerned. Zero seemed to be unable to keep things in line, his train of thought constantly derailing. "Zero... are you okay? You seems to be a little uncoordinated today."

"I'm perfectly fine," he snapped, whipping around to face her, "and what do you mean, I'm uncoordinated? I've never felt better!" He gestured wildly with his hand, attempting to prove his point. However, his arm smacked into the box, scattering the colourful ribbons across the floor. He looked down at them, ashamed to face Ciel after his outburst.

"No Zero, you are not fine. What's up with you today? You woke up late, your mood is changing faster than a teenage girl's, and you're acting defensive or clueless about everything I say to you! Are you sure you're feeling alright, because it doesn't seem so to me!" she spat.

He scowled, "No, you're right, I'm not feeling okay."

"Then what's wrong?"

"I don't know! Am I supposed to know? Just leave me alone!" he roared. Ciel backed off.

"All right... I'll leave you alone. Just so you know, I've called a holiday today. So that means you can stay right here and go to bed." she commanded.

"But I'm not tired-"

"Did I say you had a choice? You're obviously not feeling well, so you can just go back to sleep," she said, pointing towards his bed. He looked between the two, her and his bed, then opened his mouth to argue. But after a few stuttered attempts at resisting, he sighed, caving in to her demands.

"Yeah, maybe you're right... just need to rest, that's all," he muttered to himself, loudly enough for Ciel to hear. Zero walked over to the bed, yawning, and flopped down heavily upon it. Within seconds, he was asleep. Ciel stayed a few more moments, making sure that he wasn't faking it. Satisfied that he wasn't, she left the room, softly closing the door behind her. She walked towards the lab after she left, arriving just as the crowd was leaving around the corner on the other side of the hall. Hirondelle glanced over as Ciel stopped beside him.

"How'd it go?" he asked.

Expelling some of her pent up anxiety in a long gust, she replied, "Not well. He seems to be under the weather today, or at the very least, really stressed. He almost acted as if he were preoccupied with something."

"Maybe he was just worried that you wouldn't say yes if he asked you out," Hirondelle hinted smugly. Ciel smirked slightly, but shook her head sadly.

"No, somehow I doubt it. Especially since he yelled at me," she returned. Hirondelle's eyebrows shot up.

"Well, that's certainly a shocker! Zero yelled? He's never done anything like that before, especially to you. Geeze, I wonder what's wrong with him?" he mused.

"Well, whatever it is, I'm sure it'll clear up eventually. He seemed out of sorts, so he was probably just tired."

"Yeah, probably," Hirondelle nodded, "Oh, by the way, Leviathan called. Wants to speak to Zero."

Ciel snorted, "Again? Sheesh, she's certainly been calling a lot this week. Oh well, I suppose she's trying to make herself available or something. Don't worry, I'll go deal with it. Thanks a bunch, Hirondelle."

"No problem Ciel! Anything for our great commander! Now, if you'll excuse me, the gossip around here is starting to get ahead of me. Can't be the intelligence expert and not even know what's going on around the base!" He dashed off grinning, his happy mood infectiously cheering Ciel up somewhat. She entered the lab, heading to the vidscreen. Cerveau turned from the database just as she was about to turn it on.

"Hey Ciel, I just wanted to warn you-"

"That Leviathan called? Don't worry, Hirondelle tipped me off already," she explained. Cerveau nodded, then returned to his work. Perroquiet ignored the whole affair.

Leviathan's grinning face lit up the screen, "Zero?" she asked hopefully. Ciel frowned.

"Sorry, not today, Leviathan. Zero's not doing so well for some reason. He should be okay with some rest, though, so that's what I've told him to do."

Concern etched itself on Leviathan's face, "Zero's not feeling well? Really? Poor Zero, of all the days he had to get sick..."

"Well, I'm sure he'll be right as rain soon enough," Ciel pointed out. From behind Leviathan in the screen, Harpuia appeared.

"Hey Levi, get over here! I'm not making breakfast just so you can let it go cold!" he complained. Then he turned to the screen and realized that Ciel was on the other side of it. "Oh, hello Ciel. A wonderful morning to you, hmm?" he smiled. Ciel took one look at him and couldn't help but giggle.

Harpuia, apparently into the spirit of Valentine's day, had done more than just cook breakfast. In his hands he held a large plate, filled with heart shaped pancakes covered in raspberry sauce. On his head was a poofy chef's hat covered with red and pink hearts, and he wore an apron to match. Harpuia blushed profusely.

"What? Can't a guy do some cooking too?" He growled. Fefnir appeared beside him in the screen, holding a fork.

"Yeah, seriously Ciel, nothing wrong with a guy who can cook. He's the only one of us who can, really," he said, sticking his fork into the top pancake. Harpuia scowled furiously at him, swatting him away, "That's Leviathan's, you leave it alone! Glutton!" He chased Fefnir out of Ciel's view as the cheeky guardian scarfed down the stolen pancake. Ciel laughed again as Leviathan smacked her forehead in exasperation.

"Bloody, no good men... I swear Ciel, if those brothers of mine don't stop bickering or being mischievous, then I'll stop them doing it for them!" Behind her, a crash interrupted Leviathan. She whirled around swiftly (and might I add, angrily), "Okay, that's it! You asked for it!" she cried out, rushing to the source of the disturbance. Within a few seconds, she and Harpuia were chasing Fefnir around the house. Fefnir still had the fork in his mouth.

Ciel guffawed as the chaos ensued, only stopping when Phantom appeared in the screen. "Quite the lot to live with sometimes, aren't they?" he asked rhetorically, watching their activities past the side of the screen. Ciel smiled in response. Phantom turned towards her, beginning to ask a question, "Well anyways, we called you to ask if you and Zero would like to do something today. I mean, I understand if you had something planned, but if you wanted to just go out and have some fun as a group, then we'd appreciate it. Gets a bit boring hanging out with siblings all the time." As he finished, another crash came from somewhere in the background.

"_Boring_ doesn't seem to be the right word to describe it at this moment," Ciel pointed out. Phantom grimaced as Fefnir painfully yelled out from another room.

"Valid point. Better go stop them before they damage something else," he groaned. Before he left, he asked Ciel one last thing, "So, you okay to come over?"

"Sure," Ciel smiled, "I'd love to. Zero will probably want to stay here, though. He's not feeling so well."

"I heard. Oh well, his loss. Want us to come pick you up in an hour?"

"Sure, sounds great. See you then!"

Phantom hung up the call. Faced with nothing else to do for an hour, Ciel busied herself around the base, doing menial chores and helping where she could (often with guardians asking for advice about dates). Just a few minutes before the others were scheduled to arrive, she knocked on Zero's door to ask him about going. But there was no response, so she guessed that he was still asleep.

The guardians arrived as expected. Phantom came in first, followed closely by Leviathan and Harpuia. Fefnir was last, rubbing his mysteriously red looking nose and complaining quietly. Ciel smiled as she saw them enter the base.

"Hey! There you are! How are you?"

"Same as an hour ago, to be honest," Harpuia said nonchalantly. Fefnir seemed to disagree, though not loudly enough for everyone to understand.

"Did Zero change his mind about coming? I know we'd all love him to..." Leviathan asked hopefully. Phantom rolled his eyes behind her back.

Ciel shook her head, "No, he's still asleep, I think. I never actually got the chance to ask him if he wanted to go out, but I did try." Leviathan started to pout, but Harpuia quickly cut her off.

"Well, nothing we can do about that. If that's how he's going to be, then that's how he's going to be. Anyways, we just called X and Axl and asked them if they wanted to meet up. They did, so we're going out for some ice cream. You okay coming?"

"I sure am!" Ciel replied. And with that, they were off, out of the base and onto three hoverbikes waiting outside. Ciel was with Leviathan, Fefnir was with Phantom, and Harpuia led by himself, all the way to the city.

X X X

They arrived at the outskirts of the city thirty minutes later. One or two people looked up from their own worlds as the new arrivals stopped outside the ice cream parlor, but went back to their own affairs soon after. Ciel looked around at the scenery, the happy looking signs of small businesses, boring industrial buildings dotting the horizon, and quaint little houses and apartment complexes filling in whatever space was left over from small gardens and concrete paths. Minute dust clouds swirled in from the wasteland outside the city borders, but was stopped mostly by coarse grasses and umbrellas.

"So, Ciel, anything much new at the base?" Leviathan's voice snapped Ciel's attention back from the scenery.

"What? Oh, not much, really. Let the soldiers have a vacation, though. Something tells me a fair few of them wouldn't be able to concentrate today," she responded. Leviathan laughed and nodded knowingly. She certainly knew what that was like!

"Hurry up you guys, let's go and get something!" Fefnir called from in front of the shop, having jumped off his bike as soon as it stopped. The group parked the bikes and entered the store, dodging around tables and walking up to the short line in front of the counter. The whole store had an antique air to it, with its wooden floor and furniture and numerous old-style posters floating around on the walls. A man and his son ordered their ice creams just ahead of the group, then left the shop after paying for them. The two had just exited through the door when Fefnir (at the front of the group) ordered his own delightfully cold treat.

"One scoop chocolate, please!" he exclaimed. The store clerk set about the task of getting the group's food.

"Two one scoop Vanillas for us, please."

"A strawberry sherbert, if you don't mind."

"Ooh, that sounds good! I'll have one of those too!

The busy little clerk quickly got their order together, then told them the price. Ciel went to pay for hers, but Harpuia shushed her and told her that it was his treat today. He paid as the rest went and sat down at a table. As they dug into their ice creams with relish, someone from another table came over and sat next to them.

"'Bout time you guys got here," he said jokingly.

The group were just about to retort until they saw who it was. "X?"

X smiled, "Yup. Believe it or not, I'm not late this time!"

"And he's not alone!" Axl piped up from across the room. He was grinning as he shot up from his seat and over to the others, his face smeared with ice cream. Axl was holding the remnants of his treat in his left hand, small chunks of cookie dough betraying its flavor.

"Watch him, he's had a triple scoop," X whispered to the others as Axl sat down.

"Watch me for what? What's wrong with a triple scoop, how are you guys doing, Zero didn't show up, figures, he's always moody around this time, what flavors did you Mmmfff!" X quickly shoved the remainders of Axl's cone back into his mouth, shutting off the carrot haired reploid's tirade. The guardians and Ciel couldn't help but laugh as Axl seemed to have an inner battle over whether to finish eating the sticky goods in his mouth or continue his sugar rush fueled chattering. He settled on the former.

"Never a dull moment with you around, is it?" Leviathan teased Axl, who responded by shaking his head vigorously and sucking at his ice cream cone.

Harpuia finished chuckling, coughing to regain his composure, "He's right, though. According to Ciel, Zero was unable to come for some reason."

"He was acting rather unsettled, I thought he might be sick or something. I made him stay in bed and get some rest," Ciel added.

"That was a good idea," X concurred.

"Yeah," Axl mumbled through the last of his cone, "really good. I mean, last time he got like this-" Axl suddenly found his mouth clamped shut by X, who waggled his finger disapprovingly in front of his face.

"Tut tut Axl, how many times have I told you not to eat with your mouth full? Besides, we agreed not to talk about that."

Axl swallowed his food in a large gulp, "Oh right. Now I remember. But still, I think they have a ri-" he was cut off by a no-nonsense glare from X, and that was that. The group gave them both a confused look, which X answered by changing the subject.

"So Ciel, I heard that you were developing a new energy source. How's that coming along?"

"Oh, very well," Ciel smiled. She knew full well that X and Axl were hiding something, but she kept quiet about it. "Actually, it's so far along that Cerveau has started work on a prototype already. He said that he had no doubt that it'd change the world, but he wanted to be sure it worked. And have the first generator of its kind, no doubt," she added cheekily. After having a lick of her ice cream, she went back to talking, "So, you four, how have your lives been treating you lately?"

The guardians looked up from their goodies to answer, "Oh, pretty easy, actually. However, our money is starting to look a little low in the bank. We've decided to get some jobs to fix that, and you'd be surprised at what's available these days," Phantom started.

"I've been considering a position somewhere near the sea. They've got a lot of careers in sea wall repairing and wildlife conservation there, bound to be something interesting," Leviathan said.

Harpuia spoke up, "And I've been considering a job in the local library. Not a big hullabaloo of people there, it'd be nice and quiet. Besides, I might even get a little reading in," he smirked, then enjoyed a nibble off of his cone.

"Military! Training noobs and stuff," Fefnir added gleefully.

Ciel nodded, "What about you, Phantom? Anything interesting to you?"

"Nah, not really," he replied, "besides, _someone_ has to stay at home and watch out for burglars," he pointed out.

"I'll be more afraid of what traps you've set up while we're gone than any old burglar!" Leviathan scoffed. Phantom whistled innocently, causing a few chuckles.

"You wouldn't believe the job X here has got," Axl grinned, poking at X. The two had a quick and playful shoving match, then X responded to the group's strange glances.

"Oh yeah... heh heh, kind of a funny story, actually. Well, when Zero and I were out Christmas shopping in December, we'd come across a few stores where I decided to drop off a resume as well as shop for gifts. Well, wouldn't you know it, I ended up with a job at one of 'em. They let me use my fake name, which is great, 'cause too many fans would come in and clog up the place if I didn't," he explained sheepishly.

"Just where _is_ this job, anyways?" Phantom asked slyly. X blushed, but continued.

"At the plushie store-"

"The plushie store? How on earth can you live with a job like _that_?" Fefnir choked.

X rubbed his temple, smiling tiredly but good in good nature, "Well, at first it seemed embarrassing, but when I got to see all those innocent kids coming in, smiling like there was never anything wrong in the world, I couldn't help but be happy to see them. And well, it's a paycheck, at the very least."

"True, true." Ciel agreed. They all were silent, licking or gulping at their ice creams, except Axl, who was looking for a napkin to clean his face. Soon enough though, they were back into conversation. As the group talked about everyday things and some not so everyday things, Ciel's communicator began ringing. Excusing herself politely from the conversation, she answered its beckoning.

"Hello? Who is it?"

"Hey Ciel... it's me," Zero said clumsily through the speaker. Ciel was surprised.

"Zero? Really? Well how are you? Any better than this morning?" she questioned. Leviathan jerked up from her diminished cone attentively.

"Er, yeah... Uh Ciel, look, um, I'm... I'm sorry I yelled at you this morning. Really, I am," he stuttered nervously. Ciel sighed.

"Apology accepted. I suppose I shouldn't have been so nosy this morning either. As long as you're okay, then I'm okay too, alright?"

"Alright," he answered, pausing. "So, uh, I heard you went out with someone already?"

"Oh yeah! The guardians came over and we're in town having some ice cream. X and Axl are here too. I was going to tell you earlier, but when I knocked, you didn't answer, so I thought you were still asleep. Sorry Zero..." Ciel finished. Zero stayed quiet on the line, apparently deep in thought.

"Oi, you tell him that he can still come hang with us, kapeesh?" Leviathan shot in. Ciel giggled.

"Really? You mean it?" Zero asked hopefully. The group nodded in unison, a definite "yes". Zero seemed delighted.

"That's great! If you give me the address, I'll be right over! But if it's too far away, then I don't want you to have to wait for me to get there, it'd be rude."

"Oh no, no worries, we've still got some ice cream to finish off!" Ciel objected. Zero smiled widely, and as soon as Ciel imparted their location to him, he was off the communicator and away to the garage. Ciel turned her com unit off, staring at the screen.

"Is it just me, or was he acting a bit too-"

"Happy...?" Phantom finished. They all looked around at each other, all but X and Axl clueless as to his behavior. X broke the mysterious air with a sigh.

"Auugh, Zero, what am I going to do with you?"

"I hate it when he gets like this. It's so depressing!" Axl complained, further adding to the generals' and Ciel's bafflement.

"What do you mean, _gets like this_? This happens often?" Fefnir spouted. X and Axl nodded.

"Every year on Valentine's day, to be honest."

"He just spaces out and starts acting like a nutcase, not that he wasn't one already," Axl cut in. This earned him a rare bop on the head from X.

"Why _does _he start acting so temperamental?" Phantom inquired.

"Well," X began to explain, "I can't tell you all of it, seeing as it's a part of Zero's past, but I think I'm safe telling you this. A long time ago, believe it or not, Zero had a much more rash and carefree personality."

"Not to mention suicidal, womanizing, stupid, egotistical..." Axl interrupted, going on and on despite X's glare.

"Zero used to be a womanizer?" Harpuia asked incredulously. Another bop over Axl's head and X continued.

"Yes, _slightly_. You could look at it as his teenage years. Truth be told, he was kind of a jock type," X waved his hand over the table, "But then there was that one Valentine's day a long time ago, and he changed."

"Ooh, do tell," Leviathan leaned forward slightly, settling herself in to listen to the tale. The others followed suit, and soon, X had a captive audience. The only one not really interested was Axl, who snuck off to get some more ice cream.

"Well, I don't want to get too personally into Zero's life here, but here goes. Well, because of Zero's nature back then, he was much more into activities that most people like to do these days in their off time, instead of the kind of thing he does now. Because of that, he also had a lot more friends. And that one year, a bunch of people we all knew, they were called Repliforce, rebelled. This was back during the maverick wars with Sigma and the virus, of course. We thought they might be associated with either, so we asked them to drop their weapons and come in for questioning. It was just procedure, but they took offense to it and fought back. So we were fighting with these Repliforce guys, and soon enough, Sigma showed up. Turns out none of the Repliforce actually were mavericks, but that Sigma'd used 'em as a distraction to get a weapon ready. So I went off to fight one of our own that'd betrayed us so that we could get to Sigma, and Zero had to go fight a close friend of his. It turned out bad for him, because he accidentally killed him. So after that, another close friend of Zero's went missing, and I had to go fight the general of Repliforce. I managed to defeat the general, but something was up at the base. Apparently, the missing person showed up and was threatening to do something drastic. Zero had no choice and went off to try and stop the person, and, well, he was successful," X's voice cracked when he mentioned the 'mysterious person'. Ciel's intuition perked immediately, and she was sure X was hiding something. She let him go on, catching a wayward glance off of Leviathan. Her intuition had tipped her off, too.

"After that, I arrived back at the base shortly after Zero. I tell you, that was the scariest I've seen him. His eyes were red like he'd been crying, and I'm sure he had. I don't blame him, he's lost two of his best friends in one day. But then there was a crazed, feral look to them too. First thing he did when he got back was demand to know where Sigma was so that he could, and I quote, "spread his guts so far out around the town that he'd paint the whole damn thing red." Poor operator was too scared to do anything else but give him the location."

Fefnir flinched, "Paint the town red? That sounds more like an Omega quote than a Zero one."

"Unfortunately, yes. You remember what the Mother Elf said about those two, right? About how they used to be one and the same? Well, that's the closest I've ever seen Zero come to showing his Omega side. To this day, it still sends shivers down my spine. But, anyways, moving on. Zero was off and into that transporter before anyone could do anything, and the only reason I didn't go right after him was because I was too tired after my battle to do anything about it. As it was, I only got ten minutes before I was so worried that I followed him. It took me a long time to get past all the mechaniloids and other guards, but sure enough, when I got there, Zero was showing Sigma all nine levels of hell. It was quite a spectacle to behold, to be honest. However, Sigma had a few things up his sleeves too, so I joined in, and we came out victorious. Thing is, I think Sigma said something to Zero before I got there, probably blamed him for all his friends that had died. I guess it struck a chord of some sort, 'cause Zero was really acting strange. It wasn't until after the cleanup from the battle, when we were all in the base, that anyone noticed that it was Valentine's Day. And that must've clinched whatever Sigma said to Zero, cause he went as quiet as a grave. Ever since, even though he's gotten over it, he's always gone wonky on Valentine's."

"Poor sod, it was really been traumatizing. For him to keep being like that over a hundred years after the fact... sure got the rumors flying around base, I'll tell you. I wasn't even around for a couple years after that, and I _still_ heard what other people thought of it!" Axl mused loudly, ending X's story.

It was quite some time before anyone had the nerve to speak, but when they did, it was with an incredulous tone, "My god... Zero, traumatized?" Fefnir gaped.

"Who'd have ever thought that a great hero like Zero had such a dark past? The poor guy..." Leviathan sniffed, clearly concerned for the crimson warrior.

"That's terrible! I mean, trauma in reploids is incredibly rare, and it usually disappears after a while. For it to keep plaguing him like this is horrific!" Ciel cringed.

"Yeah, well, I think I know why it's been with him so long. The silly git won't spit it out!" Axl frowned. "I mean, he told me and X what happened, and he got over it well enough. But he's tighter than a clam at low tide when it comes to whatever Sigma told him! It's the same as with whoever made him! He won't tell anyone anything, and soon enough, he's gonna burst! One guy can only stay quiet for so long, you know?"

"Hhmmm..." the group nodded in agreement. Silence reigned supreme again as they all stared down at their frozen treats (or what was left of them). Then a new voice cut through the atmosphere like a knife.

"Iris. Her name was Iris."

Everyone jumped, whirling around to see who was behind them.

"What the-? Zero! When did you get here?" Axl gasped. Zero, despite the dark and forlorn look on his face, managed a small smirk.

"Been here for a while actually. Cerveau saw me ripping towards the garage and offered to teleport me here. And hey, X, thanks for telling them. It was unfair of me to keep you guys in the dark about that. Tell you what, if you grab me some ice cream, I'll fill you in on some of what X missed."

He very suddenly had an ice cream thrust in front of him. Axl looked down at his very suddenly empty hand with malice, but X quietly chided him about his limits as Zero took the offer, beginning his own version of the story.

"Like I said, her name was Iris. She was the one I had to kill before I, er, _we_, took on Sigma. Iris had gone mad, since her brother had just fought me and lost. I never meant to kill him, but it, well, sort of happened. So she disappeared for a while, then came back fully and willingly maverick. So I killed her too." Zero took a small nip of ice cream, then laughed coldly, "I killed her. On _Valentine's Day_, I killed her. She was whiny, clingy, bossy, acted stupid so that she could get what she wanted, and had a personality similar to a cheerleader. But what can I say? She was my first girlfriend."

"Your... your first girlfriend...?" Everyone who hadn't heard the story before was shocked. If not by the fact that he'd killed her, then by the fact that he'd had a girlfriend.

"Yeah, I know. The jock and the cheerleader, perfect couple, right? She was the first one I had any real special feeling for, and our first Valentine's Day together I slaughter her. Oh, the irony. No one ever blamed me, since she had gone mad. But her going mad _was_ my fault. And then when I found out... what Sigma told me, anyways... I just... just... I mean, so much was happening that I..." Zero sighed, glaring down at the ice cream in his hand. "Cookie dough, bleh. Here Axl, you have it, I hate cookie dough."

Axl took back his ice cream, staring disapprovingly at it as if it were tainted. Then he shrugged and tucked into it. No one said a word as an antique clock ticked slowly on the wall across from them. The only other being in the room, the elderly shopkeeper, stood discreetly behind his wooden counter, inconspicuously cleaning a glass with his rag. He'd been in the business a long time, and had heard many interesting exchanges. This one took both the cake and the silver platter it was on. More tense moments dragged by, until one of the shop's patrons stood up ferociously.

"Alright, enough of this gloomy bullshit. This ends right now!" Leviathan growled, roughly grabbing Zero's arm and dragging him off towards the store's entrance. His chair was knocked over in the process.

"Wait, what? What the hell are you doing" Zero demanded, struggling against the iron grasp of his captor.

"What the heck do you think I'm doing? I've been waiting all week for you to ask me out on a date, and what do you do? Tell a real downer of a story and expect me to leave you alone to pout or sit gloomily in a corner for the whole day! Nuh uh, not gonna happen, mister! I've been waiting since the moment we met to get a date with you, and now that I've got the chance, I'm gonna take it!"

"Yeah, you get him, girl!" Ciel cheered. Then, as she watched Zero latch himself onto the doorway, she did a double take. "Wait a minute, _you_ get a date? I've known him longer! I have superiority over you! Move over, Zero's mine!" she jumped up and ran over to the entrance, grabbing Zero's free leg (Leviathan had the other one). At the table, the occupants were starting to howl with laughter.

"I don't think either of you will get a date with him if you can't get him off that doorway!" Axl roared gleefully, smashing his fist against the table to help deal with his immense glee.

Zero's eyes were tightly shut as he fought the two girls tugging at his legs, along with the slow detachment of the door's bordering under his fingers, "Help! X, Axl, quit sitting there like pigs in you-know-what and GET THESE THINGS OFFA ME!"

"Sorry mate, you were the womanizer, this kind of thing is your specialty!"

"THAT'S THE LAMEST EXCUSE EVER YOU SUNNUVA-!" Without warning, the bordering on the door lurched out of the wall by an inch, showing the nails that had previously held it in. Zero lost his grip, launching out of the doorway and onto the girls in a mere second. They tumbled down the front steps as everyone else finally got up to help, still laughing their heads off.

Some things never change, thought X, and some things do.

* * *

Yay! Done! Man, I love holidays, they make writing so much easier! Again, sorry for the delay, but I really had no idea how I was going to do this chapter. And no, there was very little romance for this Valentine's day special, but that's how it came out. So sue me. Then again, on second thought, maybe not. I'll try to get an April Fool's episode out, but until then, HA will continue on from where it left off. Have a great day, everyone!

And not being able to log in stinks. Fanfiction hasn't been letting me on, either.


	4. Happy April Fool's Day

Hey guys! Sorry about the wait for new chapters, but if you've read the notice on my profile, you'll know that the delay is because of my broken laptop, not to mention that new computer virus that's been going around. However, I've wanted to do this chapter for a long time, so I'm going the extra mile to get it done. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

The maniacal giggle echoed throughout the apartment. In the bedroom, one brown haired reploid shuffled sleepily in his bed, but soon lay still. The door to the room was closed, preventing most of the sound from the living room entering. With green war bands and shamrocks painted on his face, the old prankster prince of Hunter HQ resurfaced from beyond his century of slumber. Axl's fingers tapped excitedly against each other. Two beady eyes greedily took in the innumerable tools of his trade, tools previously hidden under the apartment's couch. He grinned evilly.

It was time.

A similar situation was occurring near the other end of town. The ninja reploid Phantom was preparing for one of the most sacred holidays to pranksters the world over. However, his reign of terror would be held in check by a single flaw; it was expected.

"Morning bro. How's the prep going?" asked Fefnir. Phantom sighed bitterly. A prank was nothing without the element of surprise. He'd long since given up on pranking his siblings because of that very reason. They knew all of his tricks, and foiled his every plot. Not only that, they were the only ones he used to be able to prank, and without victims, a prank was nothing. As a previous general, tricking troops had been out of the question, and superiors… no way in hell. But because his siblings were so used to him, it wasn't fun anymore. And he still didn't have a job, so no coworker casualties, either.

"As well as it can, Fef. But I don't know why I bother, really. I've got no one to prank," he replied sadly. Fefnir scratched his chin thoughtfully.

"Y'know, the people around the Guardian HQ seem pretty serious about holidays. Maybe you could go there?" he mused to his sibling.

Phantom looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and caution, "Perhaps… What makes you suggest that?"

"Yer just so darned pathetic looking when you can't prank people. It's starting to look like the old you!" he chortled. Phantom's response was a well-aimed pillow. It landed on his tormentor's face with a nice _whump_. Fefnir quickly retrieved the offensive object from his features, threw, and a good natured pillow fight ensued.

After five minutes, both of the bedtime generals stopped their fluffy troops' advances and called a truce. Phantom grinned over at his brother.

"Thanks Fef, I needed that."

"No prob bro," Fefnir smirked in response. "You haven't looked that serious since the whole Neo Arcadian War thing, and it was starting to get me down, too."

"So you solved my problem by instigating a pillow war. Sheesh man, what is it with you and fighting?"

"Dunno, but it works, doesn't it?" he grinned sheepishly. Than he looked over at the ripped pillow he was still holding, "Oh no, we have a casualty! Lack a day, this poor pillow has suffered a fate worse than death, to have been slain while defending my poor ole' brother's soul from wallowing despair and a face that'd make a baby cry. At least, poor pillow number, er, four, your sacrifice was not in vain!" he wailed and posed theatrically. Phantom was in a fit, guffawing loudly.

"_My_ face bad? Yours could break a mirror from a hundred miles away!" he barked. Fefnir looked comically aghast at his brother's statement, causing Phantom to laugh even harder.

"Is that really how you treat a handsome lad like me? After I told you where to find some hapless victims? Merciless cad!" pouted Fefnir sarcastically.

"Yeah yeah, stuff it and let's go get some breakfast," the ninja responded, "because I'm going to need a good feed to fuel today's conquest!"

"Sure. Better the soldiers than me," Fef smiled. The two left for the kitchen.

X X X X X

Shadows danced playfully on the wall of the bedroom. Gentle breezes gusted around the leaves of the trees in the Guardian bases' garden, stirring birds from their rest. The avian musicians struck up their unique chords as the sun chased the darkness of night farther across the sky, shepherding it somewhere beyond the horizon.

With a yawn, the youthful leader of the guardians shifted from her bed, rubbing her eyes sleepily to banish the tiredness threatening to close them again. She got up, heading for her bathroom. After a quick shower, she dried off and dressed into one of her usual work outfits, brushing her hair carefully before and after putting on the protective helmet. A quick stop at her personal coffee machine later, she was off to the lab.

Cerveau, his own mug full of hot caffeinated goodness, watched as she entered. They nodded to each other as they started up whatever machinery was turned off during the night. When they were finished, Ciel took a particularly long sip of coffee as she sat down.

_Prrrrrrrrrttt…_

Ciel, still with the mug to her mouth, blushed a bright crimson. Cerveau glanced over with a priceless expression of astonishment.

With a large gulp, Ciel swallowed down her very warm drink, burning her mouth slightly, "It wasn't me!" she protested shrilly.

Cerveau blinked, then smiled knowingly, "Ah, I see… look what's here." He walked over calmly, leaning down somewhat. With a quick tug, he pulled out a whoopie cushion from under her seat, "Here's the culprit."

Ciel's blush deadened considerably with the revelation, glad that Cerveau's power of observation had cleared her name. "I wonder who did that?"

"One of the soldiers, probably. It is April Fool's day today, if that calendar is correct," he explained, pointing over to the paper book on the laboratory wall.

Ciel looked slightly startled, "Oh, it is? I'd better go get some green on!" She got up swiftly, racing back to her room. Along the way, she noticed a few of the early-to-rise soldiers had also become victims of some sort of prank. Blushing, stumbling, or attempting to dry off wet spots, they were more concerned with their own affairs than Ciel's passing. She even passed one who was having problems navigating due to a wet bucket covering his head and soaked shoulders…

At her room, she quickly tied a shamrock ribbon on to one of her bangs, then returned to the hall. As an afterthought, she locked her room. Walking back towards the lab, she realized that she had probably been one of the luckier prank victims. It seemed that whoever was doing the pranks, whether a well organized group or extremely determined individual, was doing a rather good job of it. Just as she reached the lab, a short screech came from back in the corridor.

"Alright, who did that, show yourself!" roared an unfortunate soldier, now thoroughly covered in white flour. His goggles were too liberally dusted for him to see where he was going, which resulted in a collision with a panicked rookie.

"Ghost!" screamed the rookie, and by some random fluke of the universe, both the rookie and the "ghost" ran in opposite directions, straight into walls. Two people shaped flour patterns were left on the obstacles as the soldiers fell to the ground.

"Oh dear…" muttered Ciel as she watched them get back up. As she opened the door to the lab, she began to wonder if leaving Cerveau alone to "hold the fort" had been a wise choice. Her fears were proved false as she entered the lab and nothing had changed since her leaving it.

"You're still safe in here?" Ciel asked anxiously. Cerveau turned to look at her questioningly.

"Yes, I'm fine. What's the matter?" he inquired.

Ciel peered around the room cautiously as she answered, reassuring herself that she was safe, "Well, there seems to be a prankster on the loose outside. And a worse one than usual, too. I'm just glad they haven't come in here yet."

"It _is_ a lab. Foolery in here could result in some serious damage or injury to someone." he pointed out.

"True. At least our prankster is a responsible one… if you can call them that," Ciel noted. Cerveau nodded in agreement. After checking a few more systems with him, she left to go see how Zero was doing. The legendary red hero had started to fall into the habit of sleeping in, so it wasn't a foreign chore for her to go check up on him.

It didn't take long for her to get there. The chaos around the base was slowly but surely on the rise, so Ciel was forced to duck and dodge traps more than once to get to her target unscathed. As soon as she arrived at the red reploid's room, she began knocking on the door. Even as Zero opened the portal to his sleeping quarters, she kept up a constant vigil to her surroundings.

"Mmeh? What's up?" He asked sleepily, covering his mouth as he yawned loudly.

"You were sleeping in again, Zero. I came to wake you up, there's something going on around here and I wanted to warn you," she explained. Zero's eyes shot wide open.

"Something's up? I'll be ready right away, give me a sec'!" he gibbered. He shot back into his room, closing the door behind him. Not two minutes later he reappeared wearing his armor, fully alert, "Just tell me what's wrong, I'll fix it."

"No need to worry like that, Zero, nothing's going on around here. Except the rampant pranksters, anyways," Ciel said. Zero's face took on a blank look for a few seconds before horror quickly overtook it.

"P… Pranksters? Wait a minute, it isn't April Fool's Day, is it?" he asked worriedly. Ciel nodded, causing Zero to groan, "Oh, no, not again… Ciel, you haven't seen Axl, have you?"

"Uh, no, why do you ask?" she pondered, confused.

"Good, maybe that means he isn't here… But if you do see him, run like hell. April Fool's Day is his favourite holiday, and, believe it or not, he takes it seriously."

"Axl, serious? I don't know him as well as you do, but I've never seen him serious before," Ciel pointed out, "he always struck me as the adolescent, devil-may-care type, not a grim and goal-driven person."

Zero frowned, "Well, as rare as it is, Axl can get serious. And trust me, if he gets intent on anything, he's a reploid to fear," explained a very worried looking Zero. Ciel was taken back by Zero's somber tone, but she trusted his judgment and his word.

"So we need to avoid Axl. Fair enough, but what should we do now?"

"For now, do as you usually do. If he's here, he'll probably be less inclined to target you since you run the base. I've got a pact with him that disallows him to target me as long as I don't mention a certain thing to anyone else, so I'm safe too. Just be on the lookout for non-specific traps and you'll be fine," Zero advised. Ciel took the information to heart.

"Thanks a bunch, Zero. I'll be careful. Heh, good thing Phantom isn't here either, I'd bet he and Axl would have a riot together."

"Heaven help us if they did…" Zero moaned despairingly. Ciel giggled. Just then, a monotone announcement came over the intercom.

"GOOD MORNING EVERYONE, HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY! PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT ANY AND ALL PRANK ATTEMPTS TODAY WILL BE ACCEPTED IN THE NAME OF THE HOLIDAY, AS LONG AS THEY ARE WITHIN THE SAFETY AND VANDALISM BOUNDARIES AS STATED IN THE GUARDIAN RULEBOOK. ALSO, WILL DOREN PLEASE GO TO THE CAFETERIA AND CIEL TO THE LABORATORY. THANK YOU, AND HAVE A NICE DAY!"

"What do they need me at the lab for?" Ciel wondered. Zero shrugged. They went towards the lab, helping a female soldier solve a problem related to the "kick-me" sign on her back along the way. However, the moment they arrived, they were hailed.

"Zero! Ciel! How've you been, long time no see!" yelled a familiar voice happily. Fefnir stood just outside the door to the lab, giving them a wide smile, "It must have been as dull as dishwater around here without us around, no?"

"Not today it hasn't," Ciel grinned back. Zero smacked his forehead while rolling his eyes.

"Should've known-"

"Aww, why the negativity? We just came to ask if we could hang out for a while!" Fefnir whimpered jokingly. Phantom and Cerveau, who had been having a conversation about something in the background, broke up their chat to come greet the pair.

"You're here, Ciel! That's great. As Fefnir just conveniently informed you, he and Phantom were hoping for some time around base, to relax a bit I think," he said.

"Nah, actually, we just came here to cause some friendly hell," Fefnir cut in.

"Although it appears that we were beaten to it," Phantom admitted grudgingly, "not that that will stop me totally, if we are allowed to stay."

"Well, all visitors are welcome here. Just stay within reasonable boundaries, alright?" Ciel responded. Both of the former generals thanked her heartily. Zero, however, seemed to be the polar opposite of Ciel's friendliness.

"If anything, or anyone, gets so much as a scratch around here, I'm coming to you two, got it?"

"Yessir Mr. Red-and-old," Fefnir taunted. He recoiled swiftly as Zero gave him a murderous glare that would have made his father proud.

"Zero, quit being such a party pooper and relax already! It's just a holiday!" Ciel reprimanded, "I don't care how much you're worried about Axl, it doesn't give you the right to take it out on our guests!"

"Fine… I'm off to rescue the recruits from whatever traps they're in," Zero sighed. "And remember what I said Ciel, if you see Axl, run. No ifs ands or buts." With that, Zero left off towards the cafeteria, his eyes scanning the halls like bombs were set throughout them.

"Sometimes that guy acts like such a moldy old boot, hey bro?" Fefnir chortled to his sibling. Phantom and Ciel nodded in agreement. Cerveau turned to return to his lab, but not without leaving a comment of his own.

"He may be pretty stern at times, but he's always had his reasons for that, right? So if he says that we should run upon seeing Axl, it's likely good advice to follow."

"True…" Ciel agreed. The door to the lab closed as the three outside of it decided to go their own ways.

"Well, we're off to cause some mischief. Thanks again Ciel!" Phantom chimed. She nodded and headed towards the command room while the generals went the opposite way.

"So bro, where are we gonna start?" asked Fefnir.

Phantom reached into one of the small bags around his hip (which was on his prankster/ninja utility belt). He pulled out a small jar of transparent grease, kneeling down in front of the door across the hall.

"Right here."

It wasn't too long before the brothers had covered several of the hallways in a gauntlet of practical jokes and booby traps. Greased floors, motion-activated hanging spiders, fake pet piles, and some bucket-over-the-doors (which were somewhat difficult to do because the doors were sliding ones, but was nevertheless done anyways) were around every turn. There were even a couple of invisible trip-wires, placed strategically to cause people to fall tail over teakettle and yet not know how it happened. Phantom and Fefnir had, of course, come across some well placed traps of someone else's and had to disarm them to pass. The ninja, who had only barely escaped the effects of several of them, admired their expertise and placement. Fefnir wasn't nearly as much of a fan. His method of "disarming" a trap wasn't even close to as elegant as Phantom's, resulting in him almost always walking straight into them.

Fefnir grunted unhappily as, for the umpteenth time, he was doused by a large load of water. "Pfftht! Darnit, how the hell do so many of those damn dumper traps get set up? I swear, if I'd known this would be what it was like coming here, I would have brought a swimsuit!"

"Better the dumper trap than this powder one," Phantom consoled, gently holding a delicate bag of flour. It had been attached to the ceiling along with a motion sensing "bag ripper" (a knife on a lever). Obviously, a simple, homemade design, but as Phantom deactivated the sensor, he marveled at the effectiveness. Fefnir looked around the empty hallway, glad that no one was around to witness his sopping state.

"Oh well, time to move on," he mumbled. Suddenly a youthful voice piped up happily from behind the pair, causing them to whirl in surprise.

"SENSEI!" squealed Axl gleefully. He was on the far side of the hall, rapidly running towards them to reach his teacher. Fefnir looked worried at seeing the navy terror and his painted face, but Phantom patted him on his back comfortingly.

"Don't worry Fef, I know Zero's scared of him, but I know something that he doesn't," he smirked.

"What's that?"

"Axl is headed straight for the tripwire we set earlier."

Fefnir's frown disappeared almost instantly. As he and Phantom watched Axl sprint up to greet them, he even waved casually. Axl waved back. When he got within a few feet of the trip line (and about ten feet from them), the pair even dared to grin widely. Smiling back innocently, Axl seemed to be completely unaware that he was headed right into the ninja's trap. Then out of the blue, he jumped gracefully over the wire, somersaulted along the ground, and popped up right in front of them, grinning as widely as they had been but moments before. Their own smiles, in contrast, had decided to vacate quite rapidly.

"Hiya!" Axl peeped happily. A dark green bag of Axl's untold plots hung tauntingly on his back, threatening the pair with mysterious terrors via its bulging mass. Phantom recovered from his astonishment and replied.

"Hello, Axl. I can see that you're doing some off-time, um, training."

"You bet!" cheered the prankster prince, "I was stuck in the desert for the last century, so I've got a lot of catching up to do as well! It's my big debut, number two!"

"Number two?" Fefnir questioned. His tone implied that he was almost afraid to know.

"Yessirree! Number two! My first time was way back when I was a new maverick hunter, when I had Zero's help. Honestly, the way he acts these days makes you think he regrets it, but I'm sure he's just having fun, and anyways, this time I'm doing it all by myself, no help from anyone! Just me! And boy, do I have some stuff planned!" he babbled.

"Yes, yes, fine, go ahead and have fun. Just as long as you remember who the real expert prankster is around here, all right?" Phantom chided.

Axl stopped his hysterically happy tirade instantly, bowing stiffly and quickly and still grinning away. "Yes Sensei, of course! I'll never forget who the real prankster around here is!" he said respectfully.

"ME!" sang two voices simultaneously. Silence suddenly gripped the hall. The two posing people in the hall glared at each other.

"I thought you said you wouldn't forget who the real master prankster is," Phantom growled.

"Of course I did! I'm the best!" Axl steamed.

"Are not, I've got more experience."

"Are too, I'm over a century old, duh!"

"Are not, spent that time in the desert."

"Are too, I still remember every bit of my time at the old Hunter HQ!"

"Are not."

"Are too!"

"Are not."

"Are too!"

"ARE NOT."

"ARE TOO!"

"Whoa! Hold it you two, let go of each other's throats for a minute and hear me out!" Fenir yelled. The two pranksters quit bickering and peered over intently at Fefnir, their gazes harsh from being interrupted. "What you guys need to do is chill! I know it sounds strange coming from me, but there are better ways of figuring out who's the better prankster without it ending up a fight over who's the better brawler! Last thing we need on April's Fools Day is a couple of April fools bashing each other's brains out!" pleaded the fire general.

"You've got a point there, bro… but how else _can_ we settle this?" Phantom inquired.

They all rubbed their chins for a minute, contemplating the choices. Axl spontaneously jerked up, holding his hand up like a schoolchild wanting to be picked. "Ooh, ooh, I've got an idea! A really really great idea! Why don't we have a contest?"

"That is a good idea!" Phantom exclaimed, snapping his fingers. "But what are the rules?" he asked.

"Anything goes as long as it won't hurt too much, no switching change room signs, bathroom ones okay, whoever gets pranked by the other more times loses, pedestrians don't count for anything, we start right now!" Axl cried gleefully. In a flash he was off, racing back the way he came. Phantom quickly followed his lead, but went in the opposite direction to his apprentice. Fefnir was left behind to scratch his head as the two set to the heated competition beyond two different corners of the hall.

As Fefnir still looked dumbly at the two directions his friends had set off in, Zero appeared from one of them, rubbing his shoulder. "Hey Fefnir, what's going on with your brother? He came tearing around the corner and hit me right in the side. Is there something up that I should know about?"

"Nah, not really… he got into a prank contest with Axl, that's all…" Fefnir replied absent-mindedly.

"Please, _please_ tell me that you're joking…" Zero whimpered. Fefnir jerked his gaze over to the red hero, not understanding quite what was going on and stunned at Zero's mewling tone at the same time. The honest confusion in his face assured Zero that he wasn't in the right frame of mind to have lied.

"Oh no. Oh _hell_ no. Which way did Axl go, quick?" he demanded. Fefnir pointed, and Zero ran after Axl to try and stop whatever damage he would do.

_WHAM_!

Fefnir looked even more stunned at Zero's graceless maneuver. His foot was still draped over the tripwire, and when he moved his head up, Fefnir could see his nose was trickling a small river of red from where he'd fallen flat on his face. Zero's eyes stayed shadowed for a moment, then-

"AAAXXXXUUUUULLL!"

Fefnir was very glad that he wasn't Axl.

Exactly one hour later, the base was pure chaos.

Several panicked rookies ran here and there, attempting to find a safe place to hide. Veterans huddled in groups and every step they took was calculated the same way as in a warzone. Sprung, unsprung, and indistinguishable traps littered the corridors and rooms of the base, causing anyone to see them to flinch away, possibly into another trap. At random intervals throughout the HQ, small groups of soldiers, deemed at this point the "bucket-head brigade", sat at the sides of the halls waving white flags. The rare children in the base ran around screaming out of pure joy or terror as cyber elves whisked around laughing, squealing, or in one particular tunnel of a place, getting caught in a road block style net.

Zero, for the umpteenth time that day, tried to escape by a window. It was, as were all the others, blocked. Two soldiers behind him battled each other with water guns as they passed the room, only to trip onto a wet tarp and rocket down some stairs on their backs. Zero growled, hitting the window one last time to show his disproval of it, then turned and began searching for another way out. Again.

If one thing could be said about the competition, it was this; you either loved it or hated it. With it, all the order of the base (except in the lab) had deteriorated. Young and old alike had either forgotten themselves in the riot of fun, or, like the soldier that just fell from the ceiling above Zero, ran around screaming their heads off.

Zero shoved the soldier off, setting out to looking for another possible escape route. The soldier noticed who his landing pad was and followed. Apparently, he hoped that being in the red hero's presence would save him from some of the grief around the base. Not likely, thought Zero.

As he traversed the dangerous halls, Zero's instinctual combat skills became invaluable for finding and dodging traps. The soldier behind him followed his lead as he jumped, rolled and tiptoed past active traps. Another soldier saw them and followed, as did the rest of the group of veterans he was with. Soon Zero had a whole escort of soldiers behind him as he scanned the halls for ways out, or more danger. Alas, most windows and doors leading out of the place were blocked, and those not blocked were severely booby-trapped or too small to get through.

It wasn't until the group was close to the main foyer of the base that anything drastic happened. Another bunch of soldiers rushed past Zero and the others, panic etched into their faces. A quick glance behind to their origin confirmed Zero's fear.

"RUN!" he yelled as the mischievous laugh of the navy prankster echoed from beyond the corridors. No one needed to be told twice, everyone raced for the front doors, their only hope of escape. Zero took one last glance behind him as Axl chased after a splinter group in a different direction. Zero dashed into the front hall at top speed, intent on escaping the crazed prankster.

The ice increased his momentum. Too late, Zero realized what the lack of pranks in the front of the HQ meant. However, his attempts at braking proved futile. All they did was further increase his despair as he fell flat on his stomach and barreled through the triangle of slipping soldiers on the center of the ice.

"Steeeee-rike!" came the gleeful commentary from Axl, who was standing and whooping with laughter on the edge of the slippery patch. Zero scowled, trying to get up and retort. His hands slid on the ice and he cracked his chin painfully. As soon as his chin stopped hurting, Zero opened his eyes to view his surroundings. His momentum was still strong, and he and the others were headed straight for-

"Oh shit."

Phantom whistled a happy little tune as he and Fefnir walked up the path to the front of the Guardian base. The grass swayed gently as leaves and buds softly coated the trees along the path they were walking. Birds trilled gleefully, some in time with the ninja.

"So Phantom, now that we've got some supplies, where are we gonna prank?"

"I'm not sure, Fefnir, where do you think?"

"I wouldn't have asked you where if I'd had any ideas myself!"

The pair continued merrily along their way until the the front door of the base was in sight. Suddenly, with a huge _bang_, the doors shot open and a fair sized group of hapless victims were flung out of the open orifice into bright daylight. Both Phantom and Fefnir stared with open mouths as Zero struggled up from under the pile, grimacing.

"Damn that Axl, damn that Phantom, I should take my goddamn sword and shove it up their fu-!"

He saw the pair just in time to stop whatever insult he'd been muttering. Instead, he concentrated his efforts on yelling. "_There you are_! Do you know what _hell_ I've been through because of your and Axl's stupid _pranking_ _contest_! You both have gone _way _overboard with this! You can go in there, drag Axl _out here by his hair_ if need be, and negotiate a truce, _right now_! Do you hear me? I will _not_ put up with this any longer!"

"Uh… I've been out getting supplies for the last hour…" Phantom stuttered. Fefnir nodded in agreement.

"Oh… well, go in there anyways…" Zero ended, slightly deflated. His furious energy had left him after the rant. Zero finally untangled himself from the mess of soldiers' limbs and went and sat down on the grass not far off to rest, closing his eyes and sighing immensely.

"You two started this mess, you go clean it up. I'm done with it. I give up."

Even the soldiers' eyes popped. No one ever thought that it was possible for Zero to mutter the three letter phrase "I give up". But he had. And now Fefnir and Phantom feared for their lives (or at least, their dignity).

"Uh, bro, maybe you shouldn't have challenged Axl to a pranking contest…" Fefnir gulped. Phantom moved his stare from Zero to the open door, which more soldiers were slowly (or rapidly, depending on their speed) gliding out of.

"Wait, Zero, are you really going to just dump the whole workload on us? I mean, you're the one who let us into the base!"

"That was Ciel. She's the one who let you in, and if you find her, tell her to help out too. I guess, if you need to, you can call on X to help, but good luck with that." Zero yawned. Any further conversation was cut off as Zero fell asleep, exhausted from avoiding traps. Phantom whipped out his communicator and dialed up X.

Within moments, the blue bomber answered the call. "Happy April Fool's! Who is it?"

"Hey X, it's me, Phantom. We've got a bit of a family emergency here. Mind coming over to the Guardian base?"

"Sure, I can be over in five minutes. Actually, I was heading there anyways. Axl's gone missing, pulled a prank on me and left early this morning. Have you seen him?"

"Uh, sorta, I'll fill you in when you get here."

"Sure."

As he'd said, X was at the base within a few minutes. He was wearing a simple blue shirt and jeans, with a blue helmet to match. He waved as he got off his bike, heading towards the group.

"So, what did you need me to help you with? Anything you need, just ask!" he grinned.

"Well, I kinda challenged Axl to a pranking contest, and I was wondering if you could help me out stopping it?"

"You're on your own with that one." X said. He went and flopped on the grass next to the slumbering Zero, causing more than a few dropped mouths in the group of soldiers. For once, X wasn't trying to help!

Phantom pleaded, "But, but, X! You said you'd help!"

"That was before I knew that you'd started a contest with Axl," X shot, "didn't Zero warn you about him?"

"He told us to run if we saw him," Fefnir replied. X sighed, shaking his head.

"And I see you didn't. Well, I guess there's nothing for it. I'll help. But only to rescue anyone else that's stuck in there. Dealing with Axl will be your priority, got it?" X frowned. The other two nodded in acknowledgment.

"Let's just hope he hasn't got a master plan set up," X finished.

X X X X X

The strange box rattled as Axl set it down gently on the table. The room was dark and foreboding as the prankster worked his trade. He carefully inserted seven small canisters, filled to the brim with strange powders, into the tops of each separate compartment of the box. Mischievous giggles greeted the insertion of the objects, adding to the tense atmosphere of the secluded room.

"You know what to do, right?" Axl asked the box. Small yips and ayes bounced back from within. The box, and Axl, quivered with excitement.

"This is it, you little monsters. Now remember, be careful when spreading the powder. Only little bits here and there, and don't let it touch you, alright? We don't need you guys adding yourselves to the victim's list!" he scolded lovingly. The box jiggled in response, the eager voices rose and died.

"Now, when I count to three, you cover as much ground as possible, outside too if you can. I think a rebellion is growing out there, we can't let it continue! One… two…"

Chatter, yipes, screeches of merciless happiness. It was about to begin!

"THREE! Operation Tinkerbell is a go go GO!" Axl yelled triumphantly. He yanked a string on the side, the seven compartments shot open. Like jack-in-the-boxes from hell, a cyber elf flew swiftly from each of the compartments, wearing a green numbered shirt with the canisters in a pouch on the front. As each of the snickering cyber elves left, Axl noted with satisfaction the final magnificent piece of his master prank.

1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… he allowed himself one more mighty smirk as the last one left. 8. That would keep them guessing!

X X X X X

Zero's nose twitched irritably. He scratched it, opening his eyes. Rescued soldiers were running around happily or sprawled lazily on the grass, lounging peacefully after escaping the torment of the base. He stretched, getting up slowly and gracefully from his nap. After taking quick stock of his surroundings, he saw X escort another victim, covered in pink feathers, from the maw of the warzone. The poor soldier whooped with glee and scurried over to a large makeshift pool set up outside, diving in with a splash and dousing several bystanders.

Zero continued to look around, watching with mild interest the activities of the others. As his gaze swept across the lawn, he blinked when his eyes clashed with bright rays of light from the sun. He moved his palm up to shade them and noticed, intrigued, that another light seemed to be hiding just in front of the bright orb. However, unlike the sun, this light moved. It looked similar to a small reptile and it seemed, in Zero's opinion, to be testing the direction of the wind. Zero tested too. The wind blew away from the sun, almost like it was running away from the glowing figure. Zero's instincts screamed.

"WATCH OUT!" he shouted. Everyone jumped suddenly at his warning. He ran to the side, attempting to get out of his downwind position. But it was too late.

"For da swarm!" yelled the elf. It grabbed the canister from the pouch on its stomach, shaking it roughly and sending clouds of multicoloured, shimmering powders abroad in the wind. Those who were closer to it were hit, while those who weren't tried vainly to escape. Coughing, sneezing and itching, Zero ran for cover.

It wasn't to be. Caught out in the open, the elf had them all in its sights. Now that the initial assault was over and its shaking provided only meager masses of powder, it decided to resort to dive-bombing whatever hapless person was nearest. Zero himself got a large dose of a rather ticklish bunch of powder as he dashed to a grassy hill not far off from the base. As the elf moved on to other targets, he dove, hitting the hill hard. Rolling down the side, most of the irritating powder rubbed off of him and into the long grasses that brushed his hair and skin. A few more rounds of rolling later, he cautiously raised his head to assess the damage to the rest of the soldiers. Some were still running around in a panic, one was proving a hard moving target for the elf, others had followed Zero's lead, and the rest seemed to be jockeying for a position in the soothing waters of the pool. He grimaced. The water would only soothe for so long, then it would ingrain the powder still further into their clothes and bodies. Zero had learned that from experience.

The elf, still chasing the one soldier, suddenly ran out of powder. It shook the canister vigorously a few more times then peeped with one eye into the empty container, sighed heavily, and moving back towards the base, presumably for more ammunition. Zero, still eyeing the thing greedily, noticed that it had completely forgotten him. He let the elf fly off for several seconds before giving chase. If his gut instinct was correct, it would head back straight towards Axl… and his instinct was never wrong.

Once inside, Zero once again was dodging traps left, right and center. However, he was also keeping his eye on the little reptile elf, who was zipping around corners at a leisurely pace, enjoying the show of panicked soldiers and avoiding the few traps that could catch him as well.

Just when the elf was about to round another corner, one of the base's operators, as well as a large group of followers, came screaming down the hall. With all the luck in the world, the operator somehow managed to both stay in the lead of the group and avoid every trap that the people behind her were hitting. Zero focused more at her movements, squeezing his eyes closer. No, that wasn't luck; that was practiced deception. The operator was actually avoiding the traps as if she knew where each one was, barely dodging them by millimeters as well as leading the others into them.

Zero dodged backwards, opening a broom closet and hiding behind it. The operator, oblivious to his ploy, kept on going. Just as she ran by the closet, Zero lashed out, temporarily stunning her. Within the same second, he grabbed her roughly around her collar and pulled her into the closet, slamming the door. The soldiers kept on running, unaware because of their terror.

"You can drop the act, Axl." Zero frowned. After a quick flash of light, the navy prankster stood in front of the red hero in the uncomfortably close quarters of the room.

"Aw nuts, you found me," he grinned widely.

"Do you know how much trouble you've caused with this contest of yours? Axl, what have I told you about going overboard with your pranks?" Zero barked, keeping his voice down so that outsiders wouldn't notice.

"Hey, Phantom is out there somewhere too, you can't blame all of this on m-!"

"Phantom was out getting supplies for the last hour! So I _can_ blame this whole shebang on you, especially considering that this _is_ all your fault!"

"Really? But…"

"No buts! You and Phantom are going to call a truce, and that is that!" Zero replied sternly.

Axl made to protest, "But we can't call a truce! Only one person can win a contest-"

"I SAID NO!" Zero roared. Axl stopped immediately, his eyes wide and fearful. It was the very rare occasion that Zero yelled, and it always meant that something terribly wrong had been done. His eyes lost their sparkle and his orange hair seemed to lose its bounce.

"Yes, Zero," he replied miserably. Axl turned his back to the red reploid, dejected, and headed slowly for the door. Zero sighed, halting the prankster by putting his hand on his shoulder.

"Look, Axl… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. But you and Phantom have to come to an agreement and stop this pranking match before someone gets hurt. Alright?"

Axl glanced behind him, his frown lightened somewhat. He nodded. Zero showed him a rare smirk and leaned close to his ear, whispering.

"Honestly though, you won this match fair and square. Even _Phantom_ will be hard pressed to argue that!"

As Axl nodded again, harder than before, his characteristic, mischievous smile returned. Without warning, he bounded back to Zero, hugging him.

"Thanks Zero! Thanks!" he cooed. Zero blushed at the friendly contact.

"Remind me again why I put up with you."

"Because I adopted you as my big brother a long time ago and that's what big brothers do," he explained sensibly, with the perfect logic of children.

"Oh right. I remember that I had no choice in the matter, either."

"Nnn-ope!"

Zero laughed. A lighthearted, joyous laugh the likes of which he had not emitted for well over a century. "Kid, how is it that I can never stay mad at you for long? C'mon, enough of this gloomy crap, let's go out and end this prankster war."

"Aye aye!" Axl crowed. They left the broom closet to an empty hall strewn with triggered traps and no victims. Axl stepped out of the closet first, then looked around quickly. Putting two fingers into his mouth, he whistled with all his might. A piercing note echoed through the halls. Within seconds, the seven cyber elves he'd sent out appeared right in front of him, saluting their commander.

"Yes chief!"

"Here we are boss!"

"Yer called, sir?"

"Yip!"

Axl took on the mock demeanor of a drill sergeant, commanding the cyber elves with imperial gusto.

"Ten-hut soldiers! I want you to remove your gear and place it back in your cages. Then, you will go out and disarm any trap you can find. Also, number two and three, you will turn up the thermostat in the foyer to 15 degrees Celsius. Am I clear?"

"Sir yes sir!" they chorused, eyes shut tightly, feet together, and all the other necessary posture for a salute. One of them peered questioningly at its commander.

"Boss, why are we taking down the traps? Aren't we using them?"

Axl grinned, closing his eyes thoughtfully. The elves seemed entranced by this show of wisdom, the pose demanding their attention, "Because, my loyal minions, we have won! The enemy, as well as the neutral parties we caught in the crossfire, has surrendered! We have won the war! Raaahh!" Axl threw his fist into the air, gazing victoriously at his subjects. They mirrored the motion, throwing up their own appendages and cheering.

"Hurrah! Hurrah!"

"Hooray for Captain Axl! Hooray!"

"Yip! Yip! Bark bark yip!"

"Hurrah!"

They sped off, still cheering, Axl egging them on. Zero whistled lowly, impressed.

"However did you get them to follow you like that? Cyber elves are notoriously uncooperative. They'll only go along with someone if it's a game, and even then…" Zero let his sentence hang.

"Everything _is _a game, isn't it?" Axl replied humorously. Zero laughed and the two headed towards the front lawn, helping disarm traps along the way

They arrived on the front yard of the HQ, joking to each other about some of the victims they'd seen along the way. Abruptly they stopped as soon as they saw the others heading towards them. Ciel and Leviathan were in the lead, while the rest of the guardians tagged along behind them. Leviathan and Harpuia had come over to help.

"About time! I was worried that I'd have to send in X to rescue you, Zero!" Ciel reprimanded. Zero waved the concern of with a carefree shrug.

"Hey, there's no problem now, is there? Axl, you and Phantom negotiate who won, or at least a truce."

"No need. Axl, you've won this match and all the chips too. Your pranking prowess is surely legendary." Phantom cut in, bowing slightly to Axl. Leviathan betrayed a quick smirk. She'd obviously told him off.

Axl bowed also, "And despite not having the opportunity to see your pranking abilities, I thank you for surrendering and will look forward to when we can work together to prank the unsuspecting civilians of other areas."

The two came forward, shaking hands. Soldiers whooped with glee in the background, some scratching irritated arms and legs as they did. Leviathan bulled forward, confronting Axl.

"Say, Axl, now that that's over, did you happen to drop a large green bag filled with pranks? One of us found it as we searched for victims to help."

"Oh yeah!" Axl brightened up, the light of recognition on his face, "that's the bag with all my stuff in it! Hey Phantom, speaking of working together, maybe you and I should go terrorize the mall! That'd be fun!"

Leviathan smiled menacingly, "And ordinarily, Phantom would have agreed with you. Unfortunately for you, I predicted that. So I took some precautions. Sorry Axl, but you've had your fun for the day. Your bag is safe in my room, where you won't be able to harm anyone else today. Hey, don't look so glum, there's always next year. Besides, this is just my prank for the day, you'll get the bag back tomorrow!"

Leviathan walked off, waving. Ciel followed, while Fefnir and Harpuia, the silent observers, said nothing and followed suit. Axl stood stunned, gazing after the sea guardian as she left.

"Sorry man, I tried to sway her, but…" Phantom apologized. Axl's eyes were shaded, then he clenched his fist and grimaced.

"Nobody gets between me and my prank gear! Nobody!" he scowled, glaring at Leviathan's back as she chatted with Ciel in the distance. All the soldiers had left to help clean up the halls or relax outside on the lawn. Nobody was near the trio.

"Hey… Zero… how long has it been since you pranked anybody?" Axl asked suddenly. The tone of his voice caught both Zero and Phantom well off guard. Axl turned to his 'older brother' expectantly.

To Axl, his response was heartening. To Phantom, it was the most uncharacteristic and unexpected thing ever. Zero grinned mischievously.

"Far too long, Axl. Far too long. Sorry Phantom, but we're headed to your house. Just warning you, but tell anyone and you'll be next on our list." Zero smiled. He too glanced over at Leviathan, her back turned, and headed back to the base. "C'mon Axl, we'll take my ridechaser."

"Wait… do you mind if I come too? I owe her a trick as well," Phantom asked. Zero and Axl both looked over at each other, unsure. Then Axl nodded.

"Not at all."

The group headed inconspicuously to the garage, got on Zero's large bike, and were off without anyone the wiser. Except for X. The blue bomber watched them leave unbeknownst to everyone else.

"I'm gonna want to hear about this later, aren't I?" he asked no one in particular.

Afternoon was just arriving as the trio got off the bike. Quickly they ascended to the door. Phantom's key worked its magic in the lock as they entered swiftly into the front hall, closing the door behind them. The marble tiles gave off only small sounds as they assembled.

"Alright, we're here. Hey Phantom, mind pointing the way to Levi's room?" Zero asked. Phantom pointed up the stairs.

"Up there. She's got some decorations on her door, you can't miss it. I'm going to stay down here and prepare a couple of traps too, alright? Don't be long, she could be here at any moment. See you when it's over," he murmured. Axl and Zero dashed up the stairs as Phantom set to his task.

"Which door do you think is hers, Z- ah! That one!" Axl pointed. It was obvious by the taped on painting of a sea serpent who the owner of the room was.

"Alright, now to get in," Zero muttered. However, as the pair looked at the door, they noticed an odd looking lock mounted on it. It was a temporary affair, but the screen was high tech enough that they knew it wouldn't be easy to pass. Axl was perplexed by it, but Zero had seen it somewhere before…

"Know what it is, bro?" Axl inquired. Zero shook his head slowly, thoughtfully, then did a double take and groaned.

"No, I don't think so… Wait! Now I remember! The bloody thing is a fingerprint scanner!"

"Oh no! How are we supposed to get in now? Axl cried. Then he perked up, remembering an incident from not long ago, "Meheheh… hey Zero, remember that one time in the mall, you know, at Christmas?" he looked over cheekily at his friend.

"Remember what?" Zero asked, perplexed. Then a thought came to him and he jumped. "No you didn't… you did, didn't you? You cheeky rascal!" Zero grinned, cuffing Axl's hair playfully.

"Did what?" Zero and Axl turned around as Phantom appeared behind them at the top of the stairs. Axl looked over at Zero, concerned.

"Zero, you think… you think I should tell him?"

"You've kept the secret for a while now, but he's probably gonna freak if you don't."

"We can't get into her room if I don't…"

"It's your decision, but I won't be held responsible if you do. I can help explain if you want me to, but our deal will still hold, got it?"

"Sure, um… but still…"

"Just what the heck are you two talking about?" Phantom demanded. It was easy to tell by his face that he was terribly confused and suspicious. Axl gulped considerably, but decided on a course of action.

"Uh, sensei… you know how you told me that one time that I had to tell you about all my past experience and abilities? Or else you couldn't train me properly? Well, I kinda lied, a bit… just a little…"

"Axl, what have you been hiding?" Phantom told him sternly. Axl shuffled sheepishly under his tormenting gaze.

"Well, I didn't tell you that I had two special abilities, did I? I'm actually a prototype reploid from a long time ago… and for a good reason. First, I've got this thing called stealth mode, it lets me go invisible, see?" Axl activated stealth mode. His features changed from their normal colour, to a whitish glow, and finished completely transparent in just a few seconds. As he became opaque again, Phantom's eyes were still bugging out and he swore lightly under his breath.

"Holy shit, Axl… I mean, holy freaking shit! Invisibility…?" he shook his head, almost unbelieving except for the fact that he'd just witnessed it with his own eyes.

"That's only my stealth mode and you're shocked? Man, if I still had my copy shot-! But I got better at it and didn't need the copy shot anymore, so I got rid of it. I can still transform, though… which is my second ability." Axl replied smugly. Phantom laughed.

"Okay, the stealth mode is believable, but the ability to transform? That's impossible! It would involve being able to change your core DNA data and your physical form at the same time!" he scoffed. Axl smirked. Cutting down the distance between his and Leviathan's door, he searched through his DNA library, found Leviathan's, and used it. Even when her door was fully opened, Phantom was still staring with his mouth wide open.

"I _was _a prototype," Axl finished. Zero chuckled at Phantom's transfixed state.

"Believe me buddy, I wasn't much better when I found out. Hey, speaking of which, do you still have my old DNA on you? Just checking." Zero asked. Axl shrugged his head and explained that no, he didn't, because his time in the desert had wreaked havoc on his DNA library. They entered Leviathan's room. Phantom shook himself from his stupor and followed.

As they entered, they saw the green bag on her bed. Snooping around carefully for anything harmful, Axl tip-toed over to it, picked it up, and began rifling through it.

"Okay, everything's here!" he called when he was finished. He took out some pranks, set them up, and left the room (after placing a bucket over the door, of course). The other two followed, and after setting the lock back up, Axl un-transformed as they headed out into the backyard. Once in the yard, they took up positions where they would be able to hear their victim, but not be seen.

Axl giggled, "And now we wait."

For thirty minutes, nothing happened. The prankster trio sat, still waiting, as tense peace fell over the house and them. Birds trilled despite the presence of the three reploids, content to sing the day away with no concern for any world but theirs. The sun peeked curiously over a bank of clouds as the time wore on.

The silence was broken as Axl's stomach growled. Zero and Phantom looked over at him, remembering their own starving stomachs. Axl rooted around in his bag and brought out a small pile of sandwiches, putting it down on the ground save for the three he gave to himself and his accomplices.

"Gah, this is taking forever," Zero complained as he dug into a small beef sub. Phantom gnawed away at his chicken, nodding in agreement. After a gulp of ham, Axl spoke up.

"Maybe we should talk quietly about something to pass the time," he suggested.

"Sure, sounds good," Phantom agreed. "There was something bugging me, actually. Back when you made the rules for the pranking match, why did you say that we couldn't switch change room signs?"

"Well, funny story actually…" Axl began. Zero picked up from there.

"Yeah, it's because of something that happened back in the old Maverick Hunter days. You see, Axl always got pretty stoked about April Fool's days back then, and one time, he went a little overboard. I think because I dared him or whatever. I swear, you couldn't take one step without a pie landing in your face or something else like that. I ended up locking myself in my room, to be honest," he explained. Axl continued the tale.

"Hah, that was a day and a half, I tell you. Thing is, I did so many pranks that one time that I forgot what all I did! So when day was over, I was all happy and tired and sweaty, you know? So I decided to go change my clothes. Eheheh, you can probably guess what happened next."

Phantom's eyebrow raised, "You forgot that you'd changed the signs, am I correct?"

"That you are. I mean, from what you told me Axl, the the change room was occupied by more than a few girls, eh?" Zero nudged Axl's shoulder, causing him to blush at the memory.

"Never again did I change the signs after that. So many... there were so many… and they all looked at me… and… uh… oh man, the doctors couldn't get my nose to stop bleeding for a week. I know some people might like seeing girls without clothes on, but that was just too much for me. Not to mention that, apparently, some women keep weapons close at hand at all times in case of perverts and such. You do _not_ want to know how long it took for the plasma burns to heal." He shuddered.

"Axl never 'took advantage' of his ability to transform into females, either. If I remember correctly, I used to complain about him being "the one guy who can turn himself into a woman yet not make some porn for the rest of us." It was always just a joke, mind you." Zero smiled. Phantom laughed a bit at this.

"Joke my ass, you meant it every time," Axl frowned. Phantom laughed harder as Zero looked comically offended.

"What, me, interested in that! Perish the thought! Just because I was like a jock back then doesn't mean that I had any sort of interest in that kind of thing!" he denied. Axl looked slyly to the side.

"_Right_… Sure you were, you were the most angelic person back then too, weren't you?"

"That I was." Zero agreed. They all looked at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter. As the laughter slowly subsided, they moved onto other interesting subjects, discussing the sorts of things that only other males could relate to (and seeing as I'm a female, you people are shit out of luck for a better description). Five minutes later, there was movement at the house. The trio's conversation died abruptly as they watched the house, waiting for the inevitable outcome.

Hours seemed to pass in total silence. Even the birds quieted down. Tensely, they waited with bated breath, all sensed at their highest. And so they waited.

Silence… and then-

"EEEEEEYAAAAAAUUUUGGHH!"

Leviathan's scream ripped through the quiet of the afternoon, sending birds into panicked flights towards safety. The traps had worked.

"Boo-yah." Axl smiled. The pranksters high-fived each other. The venture, and the day, was a total success! Axl looked at his fellow men of trickery.

"Where to now?"

* * *

O… M… G…

That took forever! I'm sorry everyone, this was supposed to be out by April Fool's day, not after Easter! I just got my laptop back (April 13, 2009) so I should be able to update a bit more frequently. And yes, there was a Starcraft reference in there, so shoot me. Actually, don't. I hope you guys have enjoyed this chapter, thanks to everyone who helped me make it here with ideas or beta-reading (my Mom and Captain Greene respectively). See you next HA chapter!


	5. Happy Father's Day

Disclaimer; all characters in this story belong to CAPCOM, not me.

Okay, yeah, you know what guys? Screw it. I know Father's day was way back in June, but I didn't get the idea until mid-late July. I know it's really late, but I hope this chapter will make up for the lost time. I'll work on HA next!

* * *

In a realm unheard of for all but one, a fake sky shed its ominous glow upon the desolate world below. Unholy orbs of energy radiated around the lightless sun suspended in the dark sky, outlining it against the black air surrounding it. Only bursts of bright blue in the shy showed that the sun released energy, in the form of smaller spheres of black. Mindless apparitions of data and energy crackled though the air, occasionally materializing into machinations that lacked souls and wandered or attacked themselves or their brethren, dieing in the same manner that they'd been brought to life only moments before. Nothing in this land, it seemed, was meant to be. Even the angular ground could disappear at will. It was on this ground, bright green with energy, data, and some small semblance of reality, that something much different than its surroundings existed.

Imprisoned in the strange place, Omega was lying on the ground, staring. Staring at something. Staring at something so unfamiliar, so small, and yet so _profound_ to him, that it commanded his total attention.

A bug.

One little bug. A beetle that was waving its antennae at the air in curiosity. It shone a deep blueish-green, almost black when in a shadow. It seemed to be quite pleased with taking its sweet time, as it skittered a few centimeters, stopped, waved its antennae, lay still, waved again, and moved. It repeated this ritual many times, slowly but surely heading towards the enraptured reploid.

Omega shifted, feeling the cold, bone-like hilt of his sword beside him. He moved his fingers gently along it until he found the trigger, a small groove that only he knew how to find. He picked up his weapon, hiding it behind him as he turned it off. The bug was still, but moved on after detecting no threat. Hours seemed to pass as the beetle headed towards Omega. Then, suddenly, it was in front of him. He stared at it, barely daring to breathe. With measured movements, he slowly crept his hand around the beetle. Its feelers felt around furiously, seeking a means of escape. Then...

_WHACK!_

Omega's other hand smashed his first hand down onto the bug's small body, crushing it. Omega raised his hand off the ground with minuscule movements, eager to see the damage done. He went to peek under it. Data suddenly streamed out from under his palm, dissipating into the air. He frowned as the last bit left and his hand was fully raised, revealing no unrecognizable mush of bug beneath. Omega pouted, cheated of his one opportunity to cause some bloodshed.

He flipped himself into a sitting position, tracing invisible patterns into the floor with his finger. Sulking with boredom, he looked around for something to do. Nothing appeared, so he decided to check his internal systems. You know, just in case some serious system malfunction had happened while he wasn't looking.

After the scan, which lasted only seconds, he came up with nothing. Well, except for the change in the date which was on his internal calender. Omega noticed, with only slight interest, that today was...

X X X X X

"_Happy father's day_!"

X groaned as, for the umpteenth time that day, someone hailed him. He swerved his head around to find the source, a civilian across the street. He waved patiently, his smile beginning to wane as the day wore on. People of all shapes and sizes were calling the greeting whenever they saw him with his armor. X returned to his own business. The brilliant blue armor that characterized him was held gently in his arms, except for his helmet which he wore upon his head. It was the helmet, which he only wore because his arms were too full to carry it, that caused the reaction from all the passer-bys. Never had X been so annoyed to carry the title, "the father of all reploids".

When had he gotten that nickname anyways? X tried to remember as he walked down the street. It was a good thing his apartment was only a few more blocks away. He could stash his newly cleaned armor back in its special case as soon as he got home, and this time, he would make sure to close the lid. That, and make sure Axl would never go near it with his (in)famous "peanut butter and jelly berry maple pancakes with Neapolitan icecream and caramel chocolate drizzle" ever again. Especially not when he added extra sugar... X stuck his tongue out at the thought of the eccentric prankster's meal. 100 years had passed since they'd met and he _still_ couldn't understand how Axl ate that sort of thing...

Well, whatever. After spilling that mess onto X's armor a grand total of four times, he'd finally been given the boot. After all, he was 100 years old, it was time for him to learn to be responsible for himself... even though "responsible Axl" was an oxymoron in itself.

"_Happy father's day_!"

Gritting his teeth, X returned the friendly (if unwelcome) gesture from another pedestrian. Thankfully, it would be one of the last that day (from strangers, at least); X had reached his apartment building and was just entering it. He dashed past the entry hall and headed straight for the stairs. After climbing to the level his home was on, he crept his way past the other apartments and into his own, closing the door behind him with a _click_. He sighed with relief, then went to his bedroom to put his armor back where it belonged. It fit into its canister perfectly. He left the room, heading to his fridge for a cold can of pop. He checked the time on his clock on the wall as he went to the couch. 4:15. He flopped on the blue sofa the moment it came into view, expertly chugging down some fizzy soda as he landed. Not a drop was spilled. He reached for a book on the other side of the couch, settling himself into the cushion to read in peace and quiet for a while.

Normally the blue reploid was all for meeting other people and socializing, but today was different. After being overly greeted by everyone else on the street, all he wanted was a nice afternoon off. Of course, the four ex-generals wanted to have some fun later. But that was at 7:00. Until then, X was perfectly content to read his novel.

Even if the next chapter was about the hero's dad...

X X X X X

Fluffy and soft was the best way to describe Zero's predicament right now. Blankets and pillows were piled high in a rough pyramid on top of him. While he would normally be able to shrug off the plush objects, he had a thicker blanket wrapped tightly around him, preventing him moving. Adding insult to injury, his captor was rudely poking his nose as he giggled. Zero glared at him, scowling.

"You get off me right now, Axl. Right. NOW."

Axl shifted from his perch on Zero's back, bringing them face to face (even though his was upside-down). He grinned back at the red hero mischievously, "Nope. You know our pact could only last so long without you doing anything to... _sweeten the deal_. Now that X has kicked me outta his house, I've gotta find another place to live. And guess what? Yours is lookin' _pretty good_ right about now!"

"Remind me to murder him later," Zero grumbled. He bucked, struggling to dislodge the pest on his back, "Now get off already!"

Axl wagged his finger, "Ah ah ah!" He placed his hand over Zero's face, holding it up slightly. Slowly, his hand began to glow. Zero stopped instantly, his eyes glazing over.

"Heeheehee, looks like you've gone into a trance! I betcha didn't know I could do that!" he gloated, "only works when I can get to my victim's heads, though. I paralyze 'em with some extra energy put into their systems. Doesn't do anything in the long run, but in the short one, the brain circuits activate surge protectors, effectively blocking all energy not needed to keep the basic functions running. That means that whatever functions that aren't necessary are shut down temporarily as your system corrects itself... including thought!"

Zero was still looking blankly ahead. His neck was at an awkward angle and he was stone still under the bedding.

Axl frowned, "And, of course, without thought, you have no idea what I just said. Ah well..." Axl's hand started glowing in a different colour, then stopped. He retracted it as the glow spread over his whole body. Some of Axl's features changed as he drew himself up to his full height... and higher. One bright flash later, Axl smiled down at Zero with Zero's own face. "So, buddy, how do I look now?" asked the false Zero.

The real one was too out of it to notice. Axl shrugged, then jumped. Someone was knocking at the door, possibly to enter.

"Who is it?" Axl yelled, grabbing Zero. He shoved his friend under his bed, straightening his now long hair and grabbing Zero's jacket.

"Hey, Zero, open up! It's me and Phantom!" yelled Fefnir. Axl coughed to soothe his nerves, then answered.

"Hey! Give me a minute, geeze," he answered. Adjusting his shorts, which weren't fitting as well as they used to, he walked over to the door. "Yeah?" he asked, opening the door and leaning lazily against the frame.

"So, getting ready for X's party at seven?" Fefnir inquired.

"Hmm?" Axl/Zero came up with an answer as fast as he could, "uhm, party?" He blinked his eyes slowly, attempting to look somewhat dazed or half asleep. That always covered up his lack of information whenever he did this sort of thing.

"Yeah you big idiot, X's father's day party we're planning for him! He doesn't know it's a party of course, but yeah, he's technically our dad, so I thought we'd throw him a little shindig."

Axl cuffed his head, "Who are you calling an idiot? Anyways, don't overdo it. Sometimes Father's day gets a bit hectic for him, you know, all those people irking him about the "father of all reploids" thing."

"Yes, you told us that already," Phantom added.

The impostor chuffed, curling his lip slightly, "Well, I had make sure with that guy around," he smirked, pointing his thumb at the orange reploid. Fefnir pouted as Phantom chuckled.

"Ah, true, true. Well, our business here is done, we're off to get some refreshments. Just make sure X gets to the party, alright? And if you can, find Axl, we want him there too but we can't seem to find him."

"We heard he was round here actually, one of the soldiers said he came to visit you," Fefnir added

'Zero' raised his eyebrows, "Oh, really? Thanks for the warning. I haven't seen him yet, but I'll tell him about the party if I do. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some preparation of my own to do."

He waved, dismissing his friends as they walked off. Then he shut the door behind him, sighing heavily in relief, "Man, I can't believe they bought it!"

"Grmmmfffrmmff!"

Axl did a double take, then realized the source of the muffled complaint. He walked over to the bed, peering under it at Zero's enraged glare. Axl grinned. Apparently, in his hurry to conceal Zero somewhere where the others couldn't see, his victim ended up with a large portion of pillow stuffed in his mouth. And was now attempting to talk through it (with very limited success).

"Oops! Sorry bro, didn't mean to do that," Axl apologized. He dragged his friend out from under the bed. Now in the middle of the room, Axl morphed back into his own form, laid Zero face-up, and sat down on his chest to prevent escape. Then, he took out the pillow.

"Psshffft! Blech! About fucking time you got that goddamn pillow out of my face you f-"

The pillow was promptly shoved back in.

Zero kept on his tirade as Axl stared down at him indignantly. It wasn't until a full two minutes had passed that Zero finally got the message in Axl's critical eye. He stopped mumbling through the fluffy gag as Axl smirked, glad that his unwilling big brother was calming down. The prankster slowly removed the pillow while Zero breathed heavily, the combination of his muted swearing and Axl's position having finally worn him down.

"Okay, ready to talk nicely? Or am I gonna have to go get some soap to wash out that filthy language?"

Zero frowned, "I'm good. Sorry, but I don't really like being tied, threatened, and pushed around like loose baggage."

"Well, I could've just acted like an idiot when Phantom and Fefnir showed up. Be glad I acted like you!" Axl lectured.

Zero blinked, then realization dawned on him, "Wait, Fefnir and Phantom were here? Crap, what did they want, what did you do!" he freaked.

"Nothing much, nothing much. They just came to ask if I was here and stuff, had no idea that I was pretending to be you. They've got some sort of party planned. What'cha know about it?"

It was Zero's turn to sigh in relief, "Oh, that's good. I was worried that there'd been a change in plans. Well, basically, we're throwing a party for X, 'cause after today, I think he'll need it. You know, all those 'father of all reploids' idiots. So, they didn't realize anything was up?"

Axl grinned widely, "Not at all! I'm too good at mimicking you for that!"

"And that's what's so scary about you..." Zero grumbled. Axl giggled, nodding in agreement. Of course, Zero had changed a bit since the last time he'd been with him, but it didn't take long to adjust.

"Hey, you know who's easier to mimic?" Axl asked jokingly.

Zero rolled his eyes, "Okay, you got me, who?

"X! 'E's always such a pacifist and so friendly, he's just so predictable!"

The two shared a good laugh. Axl was the only person who could make those sort of jokes about X around Zero, but when he did, they both enjoyed them. After all, they tended to be true...

"Although, in all seriousness," Axl started. Both his and Zero's attitudes changed immediately, "After my accident this morning, X kicked me out, so I _really_ need somewhere to stay. And, you know, I _do_ hate to have to threaten you, but... well, if you won't let me stay with you.." he let the sentence hang for effect.

Zero grimaced. He didn't like the thought of having to share his personal space with _anyone_, but he knew full well what Axl was capable of. Still, he was curious as to what kind of threat it was. "Say I _don't _let you stay with me... what exactly do you have planned?"

Axl folded his arms, "Well, now that I've got your DNA, let's just say that at the party tonight I _won't_ be mimicking your personality."

Zero scowled, "Oh, you _wouldn't_..."

"Yeah I _would_! With a toga and lampshade to boot!"

Zero looked visibly paler, "Okay, you can stay for _tonight_, but after that, we'll _discuss_."

"Yay!" he cried gleefully. He unwrapped his best friend, helping him dust off some grit from under the bed. Zero regained his normal cool composure as he organized the sheets properly. Once the blankets were straight and the pillows nicely in place, he turned to Axl, "Okay, now, where are we going to put you tonight?" He glanced around, stumped for an answer. Axl answered by jumping onto Zero's bed, glancing mischievously at him.

"I don't know why you're so worried about me, it's _you_ who has to find a bed!"

Zero pounced, grabbing Axl and proceeding to noogie him fiercely, "Hah, what do you think you're doing, runt? That's mine, no little brat's going to get _my_ bed!"

"Ow ow ow! Yield, yield!" he yelped. Zero let him go, patting him on his back.

"Alright, I accept your surrender. Just don't do it again."

"Fat chance, I'll steal the bed any chance I get!" Axl scoffed. Zero laughed along with him.

"Hahahahaha! Okay, you snot, I get it. It's war, eh? Ah, we'd better get a cot for you when you lose, or I'll never hear the end of it," Zero taunted.

"For when _I_ lose? Peh! Yeah right! Tell you what, I'll pay, I've got more money."

"Works for me," Zero shrugged. He looked at the time, about 4:30, "We just have to make sure we're back here before 6 o'clock, I've got to get a better outfit for the party. He indicated his faded red t-shirt and ragged jeans. Axl nodded, and they headed out to the garage.

Phantom and Fefnir were just leaving the base when they noticed the pair getting onto Zero's bike. Fefnir blinked, confused, "Hey wait, when did Axl get here?"

Phantom repeated Fefnir's gesture, just as confused, "That's odd..." then he straightened up, a thought in his head. "Hey, wait, couldn't Axl...?"

"Couldn't Axl what?" Fefnir asked.

"No, it's nothing, never mind," Phantom shook his head, putting the thought out of his head. It was probably just a coincidence.

X X X

Zero grumbled, shooting dirty looks at the innocent face behind him. Pedestrians swarmed all around and past them, heading into or out of the furniture store behind them. A bird screeched in the distance. Axl skipped around Zero, poking at his new foldable bed.

"Yay, I got a new cot! Whee!" he yipped.

Zero squinted his eyes at the eccentric reploid, his frown at an odd angle, "Yeah, you got a new cot, so how did I end up dragging it around for you?"

"Dunno." Axl ignored the hint totally. Zero sighed, heading over to his bike. He landed himself in the front seat with a _whump_, adjusting the object on his back so that it would neither fall off nor scratch his vehicle. Axl jumped on behind him once he was done. He reached around the cot, grabbing Zero around his waist tightly.

"Where to next, kiddo?" Zero asked, "Back home, or is there something else we need to pick up first?"

"Ooh, I can't have a bed without cushions or blankets! We need to go back to the apartment so I can get my stuff! Come on, move it move it! I wanna go get my stuff!" he began knocking his heels against the sides of the bike as if it would obey his commands like a horse.

"Whoa, hold it! No kicking the bike like that, or you're going to walk!" Zero snapped.

The prankster prince settled down, but gave Zero a sly look, "So what, does that mean I can kick you instead?"

"Like hell you can. You try that, I won't send you off walking, I'll send you flying!" the driver cracked his knuckles as he started the bike. His passenger checked to make sure he was seated securely, putting on a helmet (Zero always kept a spare). Checking his own helmet, Zero revved the engine, lifted the kickstand, and the pair were off.

Axl grinned like a puppy all the way to X's apartment. Zero was hard put, once they got there, to stop him from belting into the complex. Nonetheless, Zero was half dragged throughout the first floor and up the stairs. Axl finally let go when they were on the right floor. He left a somewhat breathless Zero behind as he dashed to X's apartment, stopping in front of it and waiting for his older brother to catch up.

"C'mon slowpoke, hurry up!"

"Who are you calling slow? You're too damn fast!"

"Nya nah!" teased the smaller reploid. Zero finally caught up, huffing as he hit Axl over the head for no particular reason. Axl whacked him on the arm, so Zero playfully pushed him flat on his back to end the matter.

He snickered, "Who's laughing now, Axl?"

"Okay okay, no hitting seniors, I get it."

Zero leaned down, grabbing him, lifting him up and delivering a powerful noogie. In the meantime, while Axl struggled to free himself, he lightly kicked the door to get X's attention. Knocking was out of the question since he needed both arms to "punish" his friend.

Footsteps were heard form the other side of the door, "Who is it?" came a familiar voice.

"Guardian correctional department, we're here to pick up this young troublemaker's belongings," Zero yelled.

Axl scowled indignantly, going along with the joke, "Lemme down, nobody's putting me in a jail! I'm a free spirit, I do what I please!"

The door cracked open, then X appeared with a sigh.. "Oh dear, is he up to his old tricks again?"

"Yup. We're thinking a life sentence this time."

"Better put him in an energy cell, this one's a true criminal."

"Oh, really? You see, I _told_ the guys we should just hang him, but _noooo_, they didn't listen."

"Well, no food for him for a week ought to do it."

"You think so?"

"Ehh, maybe some acid to drink, too."

"Uhm, guys, are we still joking here?" Axl looked at the pair with wide eyes.

X and Zero looked at each other, grinning maliciously, then brought their gazes to bear down at Axl. The navy prankster stared back. Then, after a minute of this, he shuddered. The older reploids finally cracked up, finally letting Axl feel some relief.

"Of course we're joking, but you should've seen your face just now!" Zero cackled.

"No fair!"

"Alright alright, come in already. We're starting to make a scene, and it's been hard enough to keep my apartment number a secret with just _myself_ here. Argh, those fans sometimes..." X grumbled. The trio entered, Axl on his own feet after being released by Zero. The small but tidy apartment boasted light blue walls and a single, comfy looking couch. There were only a few pictures on the wall. Most of these were of the artistic kind, but one of them featured all four guardians, X, Zero, Axl, Cerveau and Ciel. It was from the day after they'd found the transforming maverick hunter, and said hunter was wearing his new, sleeker armor that Cerveau had made for him. Cerveau, the only other reploid (apart from the other ex-maverick hunters and Phantom) who knew what Axl was capable of. Everyone else in the photo was also wearing their armor (if they had any) to keep with the spirit of the occasion. Smiles were present on every face, even Zero's, who wore a small smirk. Nostalgia swept through the crimson warrior at the sight of the picture, but it was quickly interrupted when X started to talk.

"So Axl, I see you're back for your stuff. Well, come on, we'd better go pack it up. I can't believe you managed to convince Zero to let you stay with him."

"Actually I blackmailed him," Axl peeped.

"Same difference," X waved.

Zero frowned, "Hey, it's only for one night! Besides, I've only got a bike with me, I can't take everything!"

"Meh," X shrugged, "we can bring all his stuff over to your place tomorrow. Besides Zero, he's been living with me for the last half-year or so, it's time you took care of him! It's your responsibility as his brother-"

"Which I never agreed to!"

"Which you didn't agree to Zero, but nonetheless, it's your turn to take care of him," X finished. He turned, heading towards the couch and grabbing one of the articles of clothing strewn all over it. "Now c'mon you two, I'm not doing this by myself! Start packing!"

The others complied, helping X pack. For some reason, Axl was considerably more enthused about it than Zero was. X trotted off to find a bag for Axl's clothes while the others folded the garments, putting them into piles. The Blue Bomber appeared moments later with a large travel bag slung over his shoulders.

"Oi! Think this'll work?"

"Yup!" Axl grinned. Zero glanced over, surveying the bag.

"Seems okay. Just don't put too much heavy stuff in it Axl, we still have that cot to take back as well."

Axl peered over at his long-haired friend, "Sure, gotcha. Hey, pass me that, will you?"

Zero did. Before long, the group was busy organizing clothes and other necessary things into the bag, sometimes arguing over what was or wasn't actually _necessary_. Axl's prank items were, to his dismay, not included in the category. Most of his other things were though, so the trio were packing for a fair amount of time. It wasn't until they were done and Zero stretched backwards that anyone took notice of the time.

"Oh whoa! Axl, get that bag, we're out of here! It's 5:45!"

"Shoot! Sorry X, we've gotta go get ready for that thing with the guardians!" Axl yelled slightly, dashing around to get the last of the things he needed.

"Oh, you're going too?" X asked.

Zero nodded, "Yup, sure are. Didn't want to leave you alone with those shitennou, who knows what could happen?"

"Hah hah, yeah, I suppose a little caution is always a good thing. Especially when it's Leviathan's birthday, eh Zero?" X nudged his best friend, referring back to the group's first big get-together. Zero shuddered at the memory, causing the cobalt reploid to smirk, "Aww come on, it wasn't _that_ bad, Zero."

"Speak. For. Yourself." Zero ground out.

Giggles erupted from the youngest member of the group at the reaction. Little did the other two know, he knew _exactly_ what had happened that day. Phantom had shown him the video.

"Alright, we're off. See ya in a bit, X," Zero said as he waved a goodbye. X repeated the gesture, and Axl stood dutifully behind Zero, smiling. The two guests left the apartment, heading back to the Guardian HQ. X smiled, putting some pillows back on the couch that hadn't been in their rightful place since Axl's arrival months ago. The clock on the wall ticked slowly, hypnotically counting down the time until the party.

X X X X X

The room was filled with jovial occupants chattering pleasurably with each other. A table sat off to the side, covered with various types of foods such as pastries, breads and cheeses, jams and jellies, sausages, sweetmeats, vinaigrettes, and plenty of various beverages for the guests to taste. Fruit juices, berry juices, coffees and teas to name but a few. Sandwiches sat alongside chips and vegetables. To say the spread was large would have been an outright understatement. There were only a few decorations on the walls and the large sofa in the middle of the room, as well as a couple of balloons strung to the chairs to prevent their escape. All in all, it was a festive atmosphere. The guests drunk their beverages and ate, but something was amiss.

"Darn it, where are they?" growled an irate Fefnir, clutching tightly at his glass of juice.

"Relax Fefnir," coaxed Harpuia, "I'm sure they have their reasons for being late."

Inside the entertainment room of the ex-general's lavish house, X's Father's day party was starting nowhere _near_ as fast as it should have. Why? For some reason, both Zero and Axl had neglected to show up in time for the beginning of the party. At first, everyone barely noticed it. However, thirty minutes later, it was fairly hard to ignore.

X frowned, "Well, Axl was going to move into Zero's room today, maybe they had a complication?"

"Last time I checked, it also takes Zero about forty-five minutes to get here. But, still, it's worrisome," Ciel added.

"That jerk!" Leviathan grumbled, "thinks he can hold everything up! Ooh, if he doesn't get here in five minutes, I'll go out and _drag_ him here!"

Phantom smirked, "No worries sister, I set up some traps in the front hall. The moment they _do_ get here, they'll regret not being on time!"

Cerveau, who had received a last-minute invitation from the generals, scratched his chin thoughtfully as he faced away from the refreshments he was gathering, "Hmm, that'd be something to see. Well, I suppose that they'll come when they'll come, and there's not much we can do until then."

"Wise words," Harpuia nodded.

"What's the use of wise words if they can't do anything?" Fefnir scowled, taking a sip of his drink.

"They are doing something. Loosening our tempers, for one," Cerveau replied, now with a coffee in his hand.

Just then, the sound of hurried footprints echoed from outside the front door, barely audible because of the muffling effect of the portal. Two recognizable voices quarreled agitatedly with each other.

"It's your fault we're late, you stupid-"

"_My_ fault? _You're_ the one who took so long to find one t-shirt!"

"That's because you kept rushing around and distracting me, Axl!"

"It's not my problem that you can't focus-"

"You little twerp! Why I oughta-!"

The front door opened with a bang, Axl and Zero at each other's throats. Glaring intensely at each other, the pair failed to notice the traps Phantom had set up. As such, they walked right into them.

_Bang! Crash! Wham_!

Everyone in the entertainment room rushed to see the carnage that had unfolded. Axl and Zero were entangled with each other on the floor. Axl's foot was ensnared in the tripwire behind them, while thick ropes bound both of the reploids to each other and the floor which Zero had, right after walking into the trap, greeted rather uncomfortably with his face. The prankster wasn't much better off, as he'd smacked the side of his head hard against the polished wood table to his side. On top of the table, the decorative marble sculpture had been rattled into a new position. In fact, it kept moving with every struggle, coming dangerously close to the edge.

Fefnir leaped forward as the sculpture finally went over the edge. He managed to catch it just before it hit the ground.

"Watch it you two!" he scowled.

"This isn't a playground, you know," Harpuia frowned, "so perhaps you'll tell me why you're acting like children?"

Zero growled as he and Axl finally settled down, "We are _not _acting childish. Axl made us late because he was rushing around putting his things away while I was trying to get into something decent for tonight."

"_You _kept getting in my way and yelling at me!" Axl sniffed.

"Hey, you're here now, so no more arguing, got it?" Leviathan cut in, kneeling down to help separate them from each other. Phantom joined her, and they had the two apart in no time. Still disgruntled, the pair rubbed at various minor injuries, such as rope burns or scrapes. Cerveau moved forwards from the back of the group, adjusting his glasses.

"Well, now that you're here, I suppose we can start this party properly."

The group collectively nodded and hummed their approval. Heading back to the room, they resumed their chatting with each other. Axl joined in enthusiastically, but Zero, still in a foul mood, grabbed a drink and stayed in a corner. No matter who came to him, he refused to budge. So, for the most part, he went ignored as the rest enjoyed their time with each other.

Time passed as the group talked about various subjects, mostly what was happening in their lives recently or other general topics. Laughs occasionally erupted from someone in the room, especially when Fefnir got raucous and started poking fun at a fuming Leviathan. Hey, it wasn't _her_ fault that the dolphins didn't leave her alone at her new job! Which was at a sea wall repair and maintenance company. Phantom smiled.

"Heh, I swear Leviathan, you'd make a killing selling tickets to all the people that watch you."

"Not a half bad idea there, bro," she mused, scratching her chin. This resulted in laughs from her audience. The topic moved onto what other jobs the guardians had, as well as how X's was doing. No one noticed Axl's sudden absence.

Axl... his choice to name Zero as his older brother wasn't all from the lack of a known family. Just like Zero, Axl had an inner chaos that could not be tamed. X was more of a father figure, but Zero? Axl understood more about him than anyone could ever give him credit for. And, of course, this was mostly because they both had an instinctual need for action. Sure, everyone else was happy just talking, but not them! Zero always avoided dull conversations by staying in a corner somewhere, just like he was now. Axl smiled as he headed towards Zero. How did Axl avoid boring situations? Truth be told, he didn't.

He just made the situation more interesting.

"Hey Zero, could I talk to you for a sec?" Axl asked, grinning innocently.

Zero glanced over at the others, then nodded, "Sure, not like I'm doing much anyways."

Together they left the entertainment room, sneaking off somewhere where they could speak to each other alone. The kitchen provided this. "Okay then Axl, what's up? Are you going to apologize for earlier? Or something else?"

Axl shuffled his feet, "Yeah, I wanted to say sorry for that... and for something else, in advance."

"Wait, what-?"

Axl used his stunning trick, causing Zero to flop to the ground. He dragged Zero across the room, hiding him behind the counter, then tip-toed outside to Zero's ride chaser. Bringing out the bag he'd stashed during the confusion at the Guardian base, he dashed back inside the house, no-one the wiser to his plot. Zero was still stunned when he arrived back in the kitchen. Rifling through the contents of the bag, Axl changed into the appropriate attire for his next prank. Screw his secret, it was time for some fun! And what the heck, the look on the ex-generals faces would be more than enough to make up for it.

Now, for the last part of stage one. Axl removed Zero's shirt, leaving him with just his pants (and whatever else was under them). He placed a lampshade lopsidedly on his head, then in a flash of light, it was time for stage two.

Zero began to stir. _Perfect!_ thought the prankster. He crept out of the room slowly, just as Zero was feebly trying to get up. He'd be right as rain in a minute... but a minute was all Axl needed. With a loud whoop, he dashed jumped into the entertainment room, his long golden hair following his ridiculous movements.

"Screw this boring shit, PARTY TIME!" the fake Zero roared, hopping on one foot and twirling Zero's shirt in the opposite hand.

Completely caught off guard, everyone stared, aghast, their mouths open and their eyes as wide as possible. Then, all at once...

"What the _HECK_?"

"Yaahooooo!" Axl yelled, thoroughly enjoying the ridiculous expressions on the faces of the crowd. Oh, for a camera! Of course, if everything went according to plan, the moment was about to be cut short.

"_AAAXXUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLL!_"

Zero, the real one, slammed right into his copy. The flying tackle caused them both to fly across the room, barely missing the couch as they sprawled across the floor. The two were at it immediately, punching, kicking and rolling around as they fought. Out of the audience, those who didn't know Axl's capabilities had only one thing to say.

"WHAT THE _FUCK_!"

Those that did know about Axl, X, Phantom and Cerveau, all face-palmed.

"Geezus..."

"That idiot..."

"Uuurgh."

All in all, the expression that had been ridiculously funny at first were now priceless.

Harpuia managed to drag his stare away from the Zeros, turning it towards X. "What the what what's going on what is what the...?" he jabbered, unable to entirely comprehend his situation.

"Huuuuuugh," X sighed, shaking his head, "this is Axl's way of telling you his secret."

"What secret?" Ciel asked, finally out of her own stupor.

Cerveau was forced to duck the lampshade as it flew through the air. Phantom watched it smack the wall, then responded to Ciel, "Axl can transform. He can also become invisible." The lampshade rolled to rest beside his feet.

"Are you saying that that little punk Axl can change shape to whatever suits him?" Fefnir inquired, right before jumping out of the way of the two battlers.

"Nah, just whoever's DNA he can get his hands on," X stated, "and as far as I know, he can only use reploid DNA. Heh, he's quit the little rip when he wants to be, you should've seen the antics he and Zero got into in the old days." X smiled, a nostalgic look on his face, "Oh, those were good times. God, now I feel old!"

"Probably 'cause you are," Fefnir smirked. He received a cuff from Harpuia, who turned to watch Axl and Zero's fight.

"Well, Axl certainly knows how to roll with the punches... literally. Heh heh, I must admit, it's fun to watch. Don't you agree, Leviathan?"

Harpuia turned to his sister. However, he received no response. Leviathan was still in a daze, staring at the fighters.

"Uh, Leviathan, are you okay?" he waved his hand in front of her face. She did not break her gaze, but finally managed to speak.

"Phantom..."

"Yeah?" he replied, shuffling forward.

"Phantom... get your camera..."

"Huh?" Phantom raised his brow quizzically, "get my camera? Whatever for?"

Leviathan instantly swirled around, scowling, "Because there are two half-naked Zeros fighting in _my_ house, you stupid clod! Get the damn camera already! And here I thought you were a blackmail expert!" she roared.

Phantom jumped backwards in surprise, then did a couple of little hops and raced towards his room, "Geezes, you're right! Why didn't I think of that!"

"Because he's not the evil one around here," Fefnir whispered to the others. He received a nice whack over the head despite his efforts.

"I heard that!"

"Apparently," Fefnir pouted, clutching at the new bump on his head.

"Now now," Harpuia lectured, "we have enough violence in here already without you two adding to it."

The group nodded in agreement as they jumped over the pair, who were still rolling around on the floor. Zero and Axl-Zero, indistinguishable from each other in the fray, seemed almost completely unaware of their surroundings as they dueled. In fact, they were starting to get alarmingly close to the table of refreshments.

"Perhaps we should get them outside before they damage anything in here," Cerveau noted. The others agreed, but had absolutely no clue as to what they should do about it. Phantom unwittingly provided the answer.

"Hey guys, I'm back, are they still- WHOA!" Phantom was forced to leap out of the way as one of the combatants was suddenly launched in his general direction. As one Zero crashed through the open doorway, the other followed him to cause even more damage to his enemy. Harpuia seized his chance; he dashed over the where they were duking it out (again on the ground) by the back door. Dodging their flailing limbs, he opened the door as they rolled out of it and into the ex-generals' large backyard.

As backyards go, the generals had never really bothered to spice it up. There were a few huge trees near the borders of the yard, as well as a patio just outside the door, but the rest was a large, neat field (mainly because any lavish furniture might have been destroyed whenever Fefnir or whoever he was playing with got rough during sports). And now the Zeros, past the patio, were attacking each other out on the grass. The group leaned out from the door to watch as the fight, previously consisting of mostly close range attacks, was now taking up more space due to the combatants throwing, being thrown, or countering the other as they fought.

"Heh heh, nope, they're still going at it," Phantom chortled. He aimed the camera as best he could while the others behind him shoved each other.

"Out of the way Fef, I can't see!" Leviathan complained.

"Ouch, quit shoving!" Harpuia yelped from his position against the wall.

"Hey, watch where you... whoa whoa WHOA!"

Gravity exercised its law. With a sudden lurch, every member of the group that had been struggling to get a glimpse of the fight found themselves falling to the ground. Only X and Cerveau escaped the dog-pile, having been at the back of the crowd. Ciel was on top, rubbing at a bruise on her head.

"Oww..."

"You're telling me!" came Fefnir's reply, muted because it was from the bottom of the group.

Ciel got off the pile, "Is everyone okay?"

"I think so," Phantom replied. His arm was stuck out at an odd angle, still pointing the camera at the Zeros. Harpuia rolled off of Leviathan's legs, having fallen at a different angle and trapped her. She got up after helping Phantom while X assisted the partly-squashed Fefnir. This time, there was no barging as they left the house in single file. They lined up along the patio as Cerveau closed the door.

"I wish I had some popcorn," Fefnir muttered loudly, "they're starting to get fairly intense over there." As if to echo the statement, the brawlers both went flying backwards simultaneously. It didn't take long for them to recover, and they launched themselves at each other with earnest. An elbow hit a gut, a fist punched a leg, a knee hit a chin, and so on.

"Hey, it's not like we won't be able to watch this later," Phantom smirked. Leviathan giggled along with him, mischief glinting in her eyes.

Ciel sighed, "As much fun as it is for you guys to watch, we really should stop them before one of them gets hurt."

"YEOW!"

"Too late."

Everyone sweatdropped at Fefnir's commentary.

"I meant before they got _seriously_ hurt," Ciel groaned.

Cerveau nodded, "A good point, to be sure. But how can we stop them? One Zero is bad enough, but we have _two_ to deal with!"

"One and one half," Harpuia tried to correct, "one of them is Axl, remember."

"Unfortunately, that doesn't make much of a difference," X explained. The others looked at him with confusion, so he elaborated, "Well, when Axl transforms, he gains all of the powers and physical traits of whomever he's transformed into. This means that, effectively, he is exactly like the copied reploid. However, what he doesn't have is experience. Even though he has the body, he does not have the knowledge to use it. So in most cases, he has the same abilities as his copied body, but not the experience necessary to wield it, and that's why he usually sticks to his own form whenever he's in a battle. Unfotunately, in Zero's case, not only has Axl been around him enough to understand how to use most, if not all of Zero's powers, he has the knowledge to effectively _become_ Zero when he transforms. If you thought one red nutcase was bad enough, you should see _two working together_!"

The group stared, whether from amazement or bafflement was uncertain. Fefnir seemed particularly confused at the information he'd just been given.

"So... he is Zero, but he isn't...?" mumbled the fire reploid.

X looked at Fefnir, and decided to simplify his earlier statement, "In short, it's method acting. Axl is so good at being Zero that it can be impossible to tell the difference."

"Oh."

"If we can get them separated, we might have a chance, but..." X started, then let his sentence hang. He himself always had a hard time getting the two apart whenever they'd fought before.

Much head-scratching and feet shuffling ensued. Fefnir strutted forwards, cracking his knuckles, "Well, looks like a job for a little brute force, now doesn't it? He walked off the porch, heading for the fray.

"No, wait-!"

But it was too late. Fefnir had already walked across the lawn to where the Zeros where. X shook his head.

"3... 2... 1..."

_WHAM_!

Fefnir came back to the patio quite involuntarily. He sailed through the air, landing face-first on the patio. The others stared. X walked over, helping the unfortunate reploid off the ground.

"Need I remind you that we're dealing with two _Zeros_? They're not that easy to separate once they get going."

Harpuia nodded, "I can see that."

"Alright, time for a woman to deal with this!" Leviathan scowled. She rolled up her sleeves, stomping off towards the Zeros.

To her credit, she lasted a full five seconds longer than Fefnir.

Also unlike Fefnir, when she landed, she ended up on her posterior rather than her face.

"Gwaah!" she screeched as she hit. After she stopped, she rolled onto her stomach, taking her weight off of the sore spot. Ciel and X couldn't help but chuckle at her comically pained expression. Cerveau smirked, "Looks like that effort came to a bad _end_."

"Shut up."

The chuckles grew louder, and the ones who weren't laughing grinned. All except for Fefnir, who was rubbing his bleeding nose. Zero one and two ignored the whole affair. A thick dustcloud was beginning to appear, trailing the fighters like a fog.

So what do we do now, X? Any ideas?" Harpuia asked. Phantom nodded, seconding the question.

"Well, there are a couple," X stated, "but most of them are hazardous to our health. I think the best option right now is to talk them out of it. I'll do the honors." X walked forwards, heading off the patio. The others watched him go.

"Think it'll work?" Fefnir asked his friends.

X X X

"It didn't work."

X grumbled, sneering at Fefnir's version of humor, "Oh, shut it."

"No."

"C'mon you two, cut it out, we're in as much trouble as it is," Ciel moaned. She was barely able to talk because of her uncomfortable position.

Phantom peered over at X, "Um, X? Not to be rude or anything, but may I ask you some questions?"

"Sure, shoot," X nodded.

"You said there were several options to take to get those two to stop fighting..."

"Yes."

"And that talking to them would be the best option, since the other ways were supposed to be more dangerous..."

"Yes."

"So, if you can, could you please answer me this?"

"What's that?"

"How the hell did we end up in a tree?"

The group all stared at X, who was near the top of the tree. Ciel squirmed, trying to free herself from between the two top branches as leaves pelted Phantom below her. Leviathan sat holding the trunk of the tree, twisting her legs to avoid hitting Fefnir below her. Harpuia was on the other side of the tree, between the two in terms of height, but barely able to move because his tree limb was almost too thin to support his weight. Cerveau, the unluckiest, was clinging for dear life to the lowest of the inhabited branches, the one below Harpuia. He'd only been able to get into the tree due to the wind general's quick thinking. Still, it did little to console his predicament, as he was the closest to the insane wrestling match going on now.

Both Zeros were completely oblivious to their surroundings, intent on delivering powerful blows to each other. Whether or not they were still attempting to keep the blows non-fatal was a mystery. Gouges were worn in the grass from one or the other Zero being tossed into it. Dust floated everywhere like a seaside mist as limbs, flailing wildly, occasionally appeared through the dirt in the air.

X sighed, "Your guess is as good as mine... it seems I miscalculated."

"YOU THINK!"

The Blue Bomber winced as everyone yelled at him simultaneously. He decided not to respond, and was soon occupied with trying to sooth his aching ears. Ciel peered down at Fefnir from her uncomfortable perch.

"You know, I appreciate you throwing me up here out of harm's way, but... you really didn't need to throw so _hard_."

"Quit complaining, I did what I could," Fefnir grumbled. "Besides, you're not the worst off here. Just look at Cerveau!" he pointed to the unfortunate scientist, who was scrambling to avoid the Zeros as they dueled only a few meters below. The whole group quieted upon seeing this. Soon enough, the Zeros had rolled to elsewhere on the lawn, and they were able to breathe a collective sigh of relief.

"Seriously, those guys are insane. No wonder none of us could ever beat him," Harpuia frowned. Leviathan kicked her legs out in frustration, groaning in contempt for their situation. However, she accidentally hit her fiery brother on the back of his head.

"Ouch! Watch what you're doing, you klutz!"

"Who are you calling a klutz?" she sniped back.

"You, you idiot!"

"Okay, that does it!"

Fefnir and Leviathan began fighting with each other, swiping at the other whenever the opportunity presented itself. Harpuia and Phantom began yelling at them to stop when X fell of his perch and onto theirs, resulting in another brawler in the fray. Tempers that were high from being chased up a tree were now fully unleashed. Ciel and Cerveau clung for dear life to their unreliable platforms, engrossed with avoiding the fight that was right beside them.

Out in the field, both the Zeros had stopped still for a moment to study the fray. Even though they were trying to choke each other to death while in a tangled pose, they still managed to shrug at each other in confusion. Another moment later, their fight resumed.

"Okay, enough of this you two!"

X grabbed each of the combatants, holding them at arms length. They glared at each other, then at their captor. "What's the meaning of this?" Leviathan snapped.

"You guys are attacking each other for no real reason! Hello? We need all of our strength and wit to get the Zeros to stop fighting, we won't have either of the two if we fight amongst ourselves!"

The siblings looked at X, then each other. Their gazes softened as they realized that X was telling the truth. However, it did little to console their bad moods.

Fefnir grumbled, "So what do you propose we _do_, then?"

"Well... there might be _one_ other thing we could try..." X started cautiously. The attention of the group was now on him, but X seemed wary of telling them what the option was.

"Pardon my curiosity," Phantom coughed, "but I would like to know what that is. If it's still an option at this point, I think it'd be worth a try."

X cleared his throat nervously, "Well, it could very well end up not working at all, maybe even making things worse than they are now..."

"Spill it," Ciel glared.

X motioned with his hands for the group to get closer to him. They complied as well as they could. "Alright then, here's the plan."

X X X

The punch connected solidly against a Zero's jaw, sending him falling backwards. He countered with a nasty kick to his foe's abdomen, causing the other Zero to double over. In doing so, the second zero head-butted his enemy, who brought his elbow down on the other's head as his legs swept underneath him, seeking purchase. One of the Zero's backs hit the ground. That Zero then brought his legs up, catching Zero in the stomach and flinging him overhead. The flyer brought his hands down into a handstand to try and control his flight, but having no luck, instead grabbed the Zero on the ground by his hair and brought him into his insane trajectory with him. They both tumbled to the ground several feet away, then proceeded to grab each other's necks with one hand and counter the other's free hand with their own. Their feet flailed in attempt to do damage or gain an advantage of footing. However, so evenly matched were they that they could not best each other no matter what.

Because of this, neither Zero noticed the positions that the group was taking, nor saw Ciel and Cerveau sneak away.

"Okay then, everyone in position?" X whispered. Nods passed throughout the bystanders, most of whom were gathered in a circle. A few tense minutes passed. Then, just as the Zeros tumbled into the center, X shouted, "NOW!"

Completely oblivious to their surroundings, the Zeros were taken by surprise. Just as they were about to slash at each other with their fingers, Phantom jumped in between them. The ninja did a spectacular split kick, planting a foot in both of their faces. Taken aback, the Zeros were sent flying.

"Good job Phantom! Now everyone, _keep them separated_!" X howled, his voice high pitched with anxiety.

Just as the Zeros caught onto the ruse, the others pounced. Fefnir and X took care of the Zero closest to the house while Harpuia and Leviathan battled the other one, Phantom dashing over to join them. It took everyone's full effort to keep the two apart. A fierce grappling contest took place between the Zeros and their new opponents, who were only just able to fend of the frenzied attacks of the red reploids.

Another few minutes passed, and it became clear that the Zero's demoniac energy was going to be too much for the group to handle. Just then, the defenders heard a whistle. Harpuia was able to spare a glance, and was heartened with what he saw. Ciel and Cerveau, dashing from behind the tree.

"It's stage two of the plan! It's a go!" Harpuia hollered jubilantly.

Hearing this, the group's energy was temporarily revived. Phantom and Leviathan rushed forward, catching their Zero off guard. He stumbled backwards with a snarl, preparing his counterattack. It was not to be. His foot stepped on a segment of rope hidden behind one of the tree's roots. With a _twang_, he shot up into the branches. The rope snapped just as a thick net fell onto him. The Zero hit the ground hard, thrashing within the confines of the net. The trio opposing him jumped into action, weighing down the corners of the nets as best they could.

It was similarly chaotic at the opposite end of the yard. X was latched onto Zero, attempting to restrain him. However, he was soon thrown off by a wayward thrash. Fefnir roared, disorganizing the Zero enough for him to charge. With all of his remaining strength, Fefnir tackled Zero into the air. The Zero did a flip, attempting to right himself as he prepared for a landing on the ground below him. Too bad he was so focused on his foe that he didn't see Ciel and Cerveau below him!

The scientists placed an object right where Zero was going to land. It was an empty steel box, borrowed from the ex-general's garage. Ciel and Cerveau had managed to get it out on the deck, where they'd left it to go set up the net in the tree. Now that they were back though, they were able to use it.

Zero landed against the inside of the box with a surprised yelp. The box followed his momentum, flipping over twice as it landed with the opening against the earth. The scientists quickly jumped onto the box, weighing it down. It hopped a few times despite their efforts, so Fefnir did a flying leap and landed on top of it as well.

Everyone stiffened in their positions, waiting for something unexpected to happen. The netted Zero had flailed so hard that he could not move anymore under the net, which was entangling him like a giant cocoon. The boxed one growled and banged against the sides of his prison.

With a heavy sigh, X smiled. "I think it worked..."

The others looked at each other, breathing hard. Then, a few nervous laughs broke out.

"It... actually worked?"

"Haha, we got 'im!"

"Yeehaaw!"

"Oh, this is just too good."

Fefnir grinned, "To think that, all those years ago, all we really had to do to catch Zero was this!" he slapped the container in amusement. He jumped when he got a bang and a muted snarl in reply.

"Tch, I hate to admit it, but we probably should have tried to capture him at least once. All we ever did was try and kill him," Harpuia gave a goofy smile.

"Honestly?" X asked. The generals nodded, blushing slightly with embarrassment. X shook his head and chuckled, "Well, with how stubborn he gets at times, I honestly can't blame ya."

Everyone (except the Zeros) laughed. But the laughter soon died down as Leviathan posed a very good question, "So, now what? We never got to a stage three with our plans..."

"Ahaha... I honestly didn't think we'd get this far, so..."

Everyone sweatdropped.

Phantom spoke up, "Well, now that they're separated, all we have to do is figure out a way to tell them apart."

X motioned "slow down" with his hands in front of him, "Hey, hey, it doesn't mean I don't know what to do now!" The group's gaze fell to him, and he continued, "you might not believe what I'm about to say, but it has worked before-"

_Whump_! Everyone who was sitting on the box cried out in surprise as it suddenly jumped up an inch. Disgruntled, they repositioned themselves on top. "Whatever you were about to say, I'd appreciate if you said it now!" Cerveau grunted.

"We need to tickle them."

Blank stares covered the faces of everyone in attendance. "Wait, what?"

"_Tickle_ him?"

"Yup, you heard me, _tickle_ him." X looked at the group sagely, then continued, "The reason this will work is simple. Axl is ticklish, Zero is not."

Hapuia frowned, "But Axl is in Zero's body, is he not? What happens if Zero's body is not susceptible to tickling? Axl will be able to stand it, and no doubt Zero will be even madder than he is now." The netted Zero growled and twitched.

"Is that even possible?" Leviathan wondered.

"I'd rather not find out."

"It's our best shot though," X said. Everyone seemed to agree, even if somewhat reluctantly. The group set to the task without further ado. Ciel hopped off the box as X took her pace, and she ran off to get more rope. The netted Zero was dragged into the center of the yard, some parts of the net cut away to allow them to see which end his head was at (it was a VERY thick net).

Ciel reappeared with the rope, and the group managed to tie up the Zero that was in the box. It took a little effort to stop him from escaping, but soon enough, both of the Zeros were captured and in the center of the yard. Both of them were scowling, refusing to show any weakness.

X started, "Alright, I'll take the one that was in the net-"

"I'll take the one that was in the box!"

X shot a look at Leviathan, who was already dashing over to "attack" the Zero. Ciel grunted, running after her.

"There's no way you're getting to do that and I'm not! Besides, as a scientist I know all the pressure points and how to tickle him even more!"

X shook his head as the girls started torturing the Zero. He grimaced as they started at the sides of his ribs, doing his best to block out the irritation.

"She does have a point about the scientist thing," Cerveau stated, walking over beside X, "we'd better start on this one."

And so they did. Phantom recovered his camera from withing the limbs of one of the trees, where it had been getting a bird's eye view of the proceedings. He aimed it at the Zeros as Harpuia and Fefnir gathered a pair of lawn chairs to sit on.

Harpuia looked at his brother, "So, which one do you think is the real one?"

"Dunno," shrugged Fefnir, "they both look like they could be it at this point."

Several minutes passed, the Zeros clenching their jaws shut to try and not laugh. Their tormentors kept up the pace of tickling. But then...

"Kuah!"

"Gah!"

The Zeros looked at each other in horror. Their captors, however, grinned maliciously at their comrades. They'd broken their prisoners' resolve!

"Okay guys, keep going!"

"Whoohoo, take this!"

"Uwaaahahaha! Stop iiiit!"

"Ahahahaha mercy, aaaah!"

Phantom grinned as his footage got better and better. The Zeros were attempting to flail and get the others away, but were failing miserably. Tears were coming to their eyes as the torture refused to cease.

"Guahuhahahahahahahah! Stop it stop it ahaha!"

"You jerks are gonna pay-aiyahahahahahahahah!"

The tickling continued despite the Zeros' protests. Ciel and Leviathan were working well together to tickle their Zero, while X and Cerveau had to hold theirs down. Barely able to breathe, much less move, the laughing Zero suddenly hiccuped.

_Poof_!

Cerveau crossed his arms as Axl's disguise finally gave way. The prankster grinned sheepishly as X released him. The blue bomber rolled his eyes, sighing, "Axl, how many times have I told you not to overdo your pranks? Especially when they involve you transforming into Zero?"

Axl raised his fingers one by one as if to count. He reached ten, glancing at all of his fingers with mock confusion, then smiled goofily at X, "I dunno, I lost count."

Cerveau shook his head in annoyance while X groaned.

"Eehahah! Ohooho, stopit stopit stopit ahaahee!"

Surprised, all three of the reploids turned to look at the real Zero and the girls, who were so preoccupied tickling Zero that they seemed oblivious to the fact that Axl had already been found.

"Uh, girls, you can stop now," X called. They apparently didn't hear. Fefnir, Harpuia and Phantom walked over to X, the elemental ex-generals with their arms at their sides.

"Hey pops, I thought you said Zero wasn't ticklish," Fefnir asked absent-mindedly, moving an arm to scratch his chin.

X replied, "It's news to me." He raised his voice and aimed it at the girls again, "Hey, you can stop now!"

Ciel looked up and over, but she continued to pin Zero down, "Oh, you did? Hey Leviathan, they found Axl, we don't need to continue!"

Zero managed a glance over, "Yeah Levia-a-aathan, haa haa, you can quit it! Ah!"

Leviathan took a moment to ponder, then shrugged "Hell no. After all the times you beat the crap outta me and my brothers on the battlefield, this is the least I can do to pay you back!"

"You b-!"

"Zero, watch your language around my sister," Harpuia scowled. Zero stopped. Harpuia moved forward, straightening up, "But really Leviathan, I think you've had your fun for now."

Leviathan finally stopped tickling him, then glared up at her green-haired brother. They stared at each other for several minutes. A gentle gust ruffled the leaves in trees all around them. Stray clouds of parched dust floated across the backyard, following the slight trails worn into the ground from the previous fight. The sun was slowly settling into its evening position on the horizon.

Harpuia smirked.

"After all, it's my turn now."

Everyone except the two did a double take. Zero whitened visibly as he figured out where the conversation was going. "Oh no, you aren't-!"

Leviathan sat up, her knee on Zero's back, "Why of course brother, how greedy of me. After all, I wasn't the only one who got their butt kicked." Ciel stood up and moved aside as Leviathan took her position, holding Zero down. Harpuia stepped forward, digging into his pocket for something that he'd found while in the tree. At the complete mercy of his opponents, Zero could only look on in fear as the green sage withdrew the object. Everyone, except for Zero, grinned sadistically.

Harpuia looked down at the terrified Zero, the feather poised lightly in his grip.

"Payback time."


	6. Happy New Year's Day

Hey everyone, SZ Chimera here! This chapter isn't going to be the usual level of happy-go-lucky humour. Also, the writing may begin to "get a little weird" as it goes on. Why, you ask? Well, it may be best to read and find out...

* * *

"No, no, no, no, no...!" X grimaced as he dashed down the street.

He raced past pedestrians and shops, past lights and music and all sorts of celebration. Fireworks exploded brilliantly in the air while firecrackers popped and sizzled all over the street. The jovial atmosphere was lost on the blue bomber as he frantically searched for something before it was too late. A bar caught his eye as it came into view. X stopped his headlong rush, staring at the establishment with a sinking feeling. He gulped before heading towards it. As he entered, his eyes fell upon the one person he'd hoped to never see in a bar again.

"Oh, Zero..."

_Earlier..._

Zero sat at the desk, filing another report. He's just finished another sweep of the desert, his search for anything amiss having proved fruitless once again. He was glad for this of course, and the patrols themselves proved to be some valuable alone-time. After all, ever since Axl moved in, things had livened up considerably around the base.

Axl was quickly becoming well known around the base for his constant smile and happy mannerisms. Whenever someone came across him they couldn't help but smile, no matter how bad a mood they were in. He helped out with missions from time to time, even though he wasn't officially employed by them (but Ciel _had_ been considering it recently). Anything to do with cheering up, he was there. Anything to do with a good laugh, he was probably the cause of it. Just as Zero had become a symbol for power and reliability during the war, Axl was becoming the symbol of happiness and optimism. (He was also the only one known for being able to break through Zero's stoic composure on a regular basis.)

Almost with a hint of jealousy, Zero thought of what else Axl was becoming a symbol of. _Change_. A bright future was coming to this once war-torn land, and sure as the sun rose X and Axl were leading the pack towards it. X, a well known symbol of peace, because he always lead the way towards it, and Axl, making the journey there all the more fun.

Zero was deep into his own world as he walked. He headed towards the desk where he could deposit the report. There was no denying it. Over a year of him searching every inch of the desert had concluded in only one thing; the war was well and truly over. Humans and reploids worked side-by-side, everyone got along. Even the remnants of Neo arcadia, the politicians, the administration, the soldiers and everyone else, were content to let bygones be bygones. A perfect example of this was the former "Guardians of Master X". Once his sworn enemies, now some of his closest friends. Zero sighed, tugging at his new Christmas gift, a red scarf given to him by aforementioned Guardians. Now, as happy as Zero was about the end to all of the fighting, something was troubling him. Everyone was so well adapted, it seemed, to this change. If he thought about it in a figurative manner, the world was very much like a huge herd of mis-matched animals. Where before they had quarrelled and killed because of these differences, they now accepted them and moved on. X, Axl, the guardians, they led this herd towards a new future. Ciel, Cerveau, everyone in the Guardian HQ... everyone.

Everyone but him.

Sure, he tried all he could. He tried to show everyone the way, like he always had. He'd always attempted to show this proverbial herd the errors of their ways, that fighting wasn't the best thing to do. In the small pack of him, X and Axl, hadn't he always been the first one to put his life on the line to kill the few others that didn't want to listen, no matter what? He'd been there for his friends from the beginning, fighting everyone who refused to listen to his and his friend's preaching. Fighting all of them, and then some.

But now, when it came down to it... the herd was listening. There was no longer a need for violence Everyone listened because they were tired of the fighting and wanted to end it. No longer did everyone stand around or attack others. Everyone was headed for the new future, they listened to X and Axl and him and followed them to the next step. Peace was here...

So why did it all feel so... wrong?

Why did it feel so empty? Shouldn't _someone_, at least, still be trying to resist the flow of the herd? It seemed like, after several centuries of war, that at least _someone_ still should want to resist? There was no one it seemed, absolutely no one, who wanted to resist this change. Not one person looked at each other in blame any more, only to the future, the horizon. Everyone rushed to that horizon, so happy to finally see it.

Everyone but him.

Zero dropped the report on the desk, no one the wiser. Someone would pick it up later, sign it after reading through it briefly, and then file it into the darkest corner of the guardian base's records. Everyone knew that Zero was the ever vigilant protector, always keeping his eye out for trouble. However, they also seemed to know in their hearts that trouble was long gone. Because of that, Zero's reports, the last hint of troubled times, were subconsciously and literally shoved as far away as possible.

He walked through the nearly-empty halls of the base, gazing absent-mindedly at people as he passed. It was December thirty-first, around noon. Most people were going home to relax or start partying. Those that were still in the base were occupying themselves with meaningless chores, such as him. Zero didn't even have a shift that day, but for some reason it didn't feel right to just go somewhere and do nothing. The red hero stole away to his room, no longer having an excuse to do anything anymore now that his patrol was over. He went to his bed and flopped down. Sure, Fefnir had invited him for a drink later, but Zero didn't drink. Even more so, he never got drunk. The last time he'd done that was way back in 21xx, and it had resulted in him being kicked out of every bar in the city, not to mention he was severely lectured...

He closed his eyes, remembering that time with a small chortle. Ah, good times. His thought process reverted back, for the briefest of moments, to his metaphorical herd dreamed up earlier.

Wait, hadn't he thought of that metaphor before?

The answer escaped him as his eyelids dropped. He thought, feebly, that the answer might come if he slept on it. And so he did.

X X X X X

Axl pouted cross-legged on the sofa. He was idly toying around with a can of soda as he heard the ex-generals discuss their night-time plans with each other.

"Stupid adults, not letting me go with them..." he grumbled to himself.

He didn't even bother listening in on the conversation, content to stare down the scenery with disgust. The few elegant pictures in the room had their beauty ignored in favour of the minor flaws in the wall. Axl kept staring so hard he could see designs starting to appear out of the design-less surface. And still he kept staring, his bottom lip stuck out furiously.

"So what if I can't go? I'm perfectly fine right here!" he snarled.

And so he kept staring at the wall.

Phantom peeked at him from around the corner, trying not to laugh at the look of absolute indignation that his partner-in-crime was giving the wall. He disappeared back to the conversation held by the other generals about where they wanted to go.

"That poor wall! I wonder what it did to deserve that kind of look?" he chuckled to himself. On a whim, he snatched a camera off of a nearby table, snuck back and took a picture of Axl, and returned to his previous course of action. He pocketed the camera for later use. Drunk pictures made excellent blackmail, after all.

As long as the plan didn't backfire, he'd be fine.

X X X X X

_A lone wolf stood among a gigantic herd of sheep, sniffing the air. It looked around desperately, growling occasionally at any sheep that strayed from the main herd. Surprisingly enough, the sheep who were growled at bleated happily, then trotted back to their brethren. The wolf, who was tame, watched them leave with confusion._

_Near the front of the herd were some big, rough, but friendly looking dogs. Sheepdogs? They yipped and barked happily, wagging their tails as they led the herd towards the top of a hill. They'd already seen what was on the other side, and were joyously trying to get the sheep to follow them over the hill. The sheep were obliging them, walking towards them._

This is unusual_, the wolf seemed to say to itself. He gazed up at the dogs, who were his best friends. There were a few more of them than there were last time. He tried walking towards them, and to the top of the hill that he had never seen over. Then he stopped. They were having so much fun at the top of the hill. They were about ready to try and fly over it, they were so enthused. Despite having no wings with which to fly, this attitude was so infectious that it spread to the sheep._

_He thought he'd always been one of them. Another dog like them. But he knew, deep under his fur, that he was not._

_For the first time in a long while, the wolf stopped. Simply stopped and stared, confused, at the sheep and the dogs, who all got along._

_And then, for the first time in a long while, the wolf looked back._

_The skeletons of many sheep and wolves were locked together in death, rams and pups and lambs and alphas were all entangled together on the dead plain, the grass brown and the dirt gray. Those were the ones who had not backed down to his growls, the ones he and the dogs had killed to protect the sheep. And yet, when the wolf looked, there were countless innocent sheep as well, most crushed by the bickering of the ones who had decided to fight, or killed when they had become terrified and attacked others as well. Some dog skeletons were also there. These were the dogs who had not survived the attacks of the wolves and scared sheep._

_And beyond them, far, far beyond the acres of bones and dead soil, was a shadow. A great forest, looming far in the horizon. But it was dead too. Unlike the last time the wolf had looked back, this forest had no shadows prowling at its borders. This forest had no life left within it, not one lone wolf to threaten the herd. The tame wolf looked at this forest. There was nothing there, nothing but the ghosts of memories. There was nothing left in the forest._

_The wolf looked back at the dogs, yipping and barking happily and wagging their tails at the herd that followed. They were all staring at the horizon beyond the hill._

_Everyone but him._

_The wolf was all alone, the sheepdogs hadn't realized that he was absent. He didn't mind. A wolf did not fit in a herd of sheep and dogs._

_There was nothing left in the forest._

_He headed to the forest._

Zero woke up abruptly. He patted his face, which was cold to the touch. He shivered, remembering his dream of wolves and sheep and dogs. The last time he'd had a dream like that...

That time, he'd still had the virus. He'd done something too, something to try and protect his friends, but it had failed. He'd tried to have the virus removed, than had all but disappeared off the face of the earth. All without his friends knowing. It wasn't until Weil, one of the few scientists he'd entrusted with his secret, betrayed him and attacked his friends did he come back.

Back then, he'd had almost the exact same dream. Back then, the wolf had gone back to the forest too.

It was a dream that Zero had told no one about, one that he would never forget. After all, the dream symbolized disaster, didn't it? He'd had the dream, then hidden himself from the world only to be dragged back to it as more war broke out.

Whatever the changes in the dream might have meant, it didn't matter to Zero. All he knew was that it must've been a sign of more war to come. But, this time he wouldn't make a mistake. He wouldn't trust anyone to know his plans.

He would disappear until needed again, and that was that. And he would be damn sure to be gone before anyone figured it out! Before they figured out his plans, or his secret. But, this time at least, he'd say goodbye...

He picked up his communicator, dialling in the number.

It was picked up soon after. A familiar voice answered the phone.

"Yeah? Who is it?" Fefnir asked.

"Hey Fef, it's me, Zero. You know what? I've changed my mind. Let's go for a drink."

_Presently..._

X shook his head at Zero, his brilliantly pink cheeks giving away his present state.

"Hey Eksh! Hey! Took ya long enough to get here! Hee..."

Everyone currently with Zero laughed uproariously at the enormous grin plastered on the drunken red hero's face. Harpuia was not present, but Fefnir, Leviathan and Phantom were. Fefnir pounded the bar's surface with delight, grinning back at Zero.

"Ha har! Ey, lookie here, Zero's actually smilin' for once! Haa haa haa!"

Leviathan was leant against her brother, Phantom, as she hiccupped loudly. Then she patted him over the head as he stared dully at Zero, "Oi, you, brainless! Didn't you get the joke! Hah hah, Zero smiling! Weeeeeiiird..."

"Huh?" Phantom asked, apparently too out of it to really care what was going on.

Zero, still smiling at X, finally realized that he wasn't getting a smile back. Now disinterested, he flopped forward onto the bar, his tongue lolling slightly.

"What the hell am I going to do now?" X pondered aloud. As he was now, there was no point in telling Zero off since he was too drunk to listen. At this time the best thing to do would be to bring him back home (Whose home it was didn't matter; as long as it was somewhere Zero could sleep without too much collateral damage it'd be fine).

While X was racking his brain trying to figure out how to get Zero to safety, a new person joined the party.

"Well, I didn't expect you to be here..." said a rather surprised voice.

X turned around. Harpuia stood behind him, having made his way through the crowds of drunk and barely sober bar patrons. He carried several drinks with him.

X frowned, "To tell you the truth, I wish I wasn't. But I heard Ciel say that Zero had gone out with you guys, so I decided to come to the rescue."

"Rescue? Hmm, please tell me why you think we'd need to be rescued," Harpuia questioned casually. He handed X one of the drinks, then sat down at the bar beside Phantom. X sat beside him and looked quizzically at the drink in his hand.

"No worries, it's just water. These guys keep demanding drinks, so I got them some. Non alcoholic, but don't tell them that," Harpuia winked.

X smiled tiredly, "Ahh, okay. So I'm guessing you're the designated driver today?"

"Yup, Phantom was last year, so this year it's my turn. Sheesh, a whole year has already passed in peace. My does time fly."

"Yeah, it sure does," X agreed, sipping his water, "thankfully it's a peaceful time though, hmm? Although, with Zero drunk as he is, the peace might not last for long."

"Hmm?" was the response.

"Well," X started, "when Zero gets severely drunk, he can be unpredictable at best. He never remembers it, mind you, but it's the main reason why Zero usually doesn't drink."

"And why he initially rejected our offer to come drink, I assume," Harpuia added.

X nodded, "Yup, that'd be why. I don't know why he came out today actually. The last time he got drunk, he ended up in a load of trouble."

"Oh? Would you explain?"

"Sure." X nodded. The other ex-generals leaned forward to hear the story, having found nothing else to do. Zero, on the other hand, had engaged himself with re-arranging a small but decorative display left over from Christmas.

"Well, here's how the story goes. So, Zero had gone out for a drink around the seventh rebellion during the maverick wars, right? He hadn't gone out for a drink in a few years since the Iris incident, and some of the guys around Hunter HQ had decided to give him a treat for New Year's. Now, around two in the morning, I got a call about some red guy causing trouble at the highway. I went there to check it out, and lo and behold it was Zero. His buddies had lost track of him, and he'd gone out to play baseball on the highway."

"Musta been some traffic problems there," Fefnir snorted. Leviathan giggled at the joke.

"Less of a problem with traffic and more of a problem with what Zero was doing to said traffic."

"How so?" Harpuia asked.

"Well, there tends to be a bit of a problem when someone tries to play baseball with a street light and oncoming cars. Dang good thing he was drunk or he might've actually hit someone... But in all fairness, he'd done a wonderful job of not getting hit himself. And causing a big mess..."

"Wait a minute? He was actually using a traffic lamp to try and hit stuff? Snnrt!" Leviathan chortled.

"Yup. And it was a dang good thing that I'd gotten there when I did, the highway traffic was getting heavier and I dare say he was starting to get more accurate, if only by luck," X finished.

"What I wonder is how he managed to swing a street lamp at all," Harpuia said.

"That's one of the seven great mysteries of Hunter HQ. Not even Zero could figure that one out... not that he was sober enough to remember doing it, anyways."

The pair looked at Zero, who was still engrossed with his makeshift flower arranging. The poor Christmas fern had gotten quite a makeover, and a pinecone ornament was nowhere near where it should have been. In fact, it had been squished out of shape and placed at an entirely different angle than the one it was originally at. Two red orbs sat on either side, like eyes. The leaves of the fern seemed to sprout out of the left and right, resembling a clown-like hairpiece. In fact...

"Hee hee hee... lookit, it's Wily..." Zero grinned.

"Hah hah, so it is!" X laughed.

"Wily? Who's Wily?" Harpuia asked.

X sighed, leaning back in his chair as he explained, "Oh, Wily? Not a lot of people know anything about him. Considering that his data was erased from a lot of memory banks, it's no wonder. Wily was an insane old man from around 20xx. You all remember about my predecessor, Megaman, right? Wily was the guy that incited almost every robot battle that Megaman had to quell. As much as an annoyance as he was, not too many people died from his attacks, only the mechaniloids or upgraded robots, so he was either forgotten or erased out of history books. Actually, I only learned about him from one of the capsules my dad left for me, I'm probably the only one who really knows about him these days."

They let the information sink in, X taking a drink of his water. The he sat bolt upright, spraying his beverage as he exhaled in shock. He stared intensely at Zero.

"Huh? Wha'z wrong, pops?" Phantom inquired.

"Zero, how the HELL do you know what Wily looked like?"

Now it was everyone else's turn to sit up. They'd all just realized that Zero knew something that, apparently, he shouldn't.

"Huh? Didn't you tell Zero about Wily too?" Fefnir said.

"No, I didn't. When I told him that my dad had sent me some info on 20xx, he got bored and told me to 'save the history lesson for later'."

Leviathan's lip went at an angle, "Hee hee, so how'd he figure that out if you didn't tell him?"

X shrugged. The group stared at Zero, hoping for an answer. Zero did not respond to them. He simply stared at his masterpiece Wily, his tongue still loose from his mouth. His face expressionless, he raised both his hands to the sides of the plant, turning them into fists. Then, without warning, he smashed them into either side of the Christmas fern, squishing it entirely. A little cloud of dirt exploded outwards.

X's face contorted into something between concern and horror.

"Zero, what was that for?"

Zero's arms fell slowly to his side, then hung limp below him. Still leant against the bar, and only supported by the seat he sat on, he finally looked over to the others. Then his eyes lazily slid past them to look out the window. It had begun to rain slightly, with the pedestrians outside running for cover. A wicked smile spread over his face. With the tip of his tongue hanging out, it gave him the appearance of one of the ancient, carved demon faces that one might see on a gargoyle. But on Zero, it was far more sinister.

"It's raining, it's pouring, this carcass is so boring, the old man's dead 'cause I crushed his head, and I'll kill the rest in the morning! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

X suddenly grabbed Zero, rushing him out of the bar. Harpuia paid off the barkeeper in record time as the rest of the group dashed after X. Fear was in their eyes. What had Zero just said?

A headlong race ensued, with Harpuia at the back of the group. They tried to keep up with X, completely confused as to his destination. But they followed anyways, hoping that wherever it was, it was safe.

When the group managed to catch up with X, he was hidden in an alley with Zero, his eyes flickering about for anyone that should not be in range of the conversation that was to come.

The generals had sobered up enough to realize that something was terribly wrong. Harpuia came forwards slowly, looking at X imploringly. X, clutching a baffled Zero, nodded back. The former guardians entered the derelict alley, avoiding stepping on the stray pieces of garbage as they came closer to the two reploids. Dark dirt and grit clung to the walls and floors of the alley, as well as any loose clothing that came into contact with it. Zero was limp in X's arms, most of his body dragging in the muck as X struggled to stay on his feet while holding the red reploid's weight.

"Hey, can we help?" Phantom asked groggily.

"NO! Stay there. I'm going to find out exactly what Zero meant by what he said," X growled. Determination drew his eyebrows down in concentration as he posed a question to his captive, "Alright, speak up! Just what did you mean when you said that 'the old man's dead because you crushed his head!' Zero, tell me!"

Zero stirred, but said nothing.

"C'mon Zero, please! Tell me!"

Again, X's cries went ignored. But then, X lost his air of desperation. He stared, frighteningly calmly, at Zero.

"Zero... what have you been hiding?"

"Stupid little bastard!" Zero shouted suddenly, flinging X roughly aside as he charged at a garbage can. X hit the wall with an audible _crack_! The guardians forgot everything else as they rushed to his defense. Leviathan made sure that he wasn't too severely damaged. The others held their ground against as an enraged Zero ripped the unfortunate garbage can in half, then proceeded to stomp on it viciously.

"Stupid little fuckup! You dumbass robot master, like you could stand a chance against me! Hah!"

He kept on beating up the garbage can. The others thanked the gods that he seemed completely unaware of their presence. X struggled to his feet with Leviathan's help, clutching his bleeding head. Phantom spared him a glance. X noticed that he was terrified, and he didn't blame him. He himself was frightened. Zero had never treated him like this!

"It's okay, I'm okay," X said. That calmed the shadow guardian considerably, but he was still tense.

Fefnir was completely disoriented, "What do we do? This isn't Zero, he's never acted like this before!"

"And what the heck is a robot master? Zero seems quite obsessed in destroying one," Harpuia added.

X coughed, steeling himself for whatever might happen. Then he told Harpuia, "A robot master is an upgraded robot from 20xx. You know, those robots I told you about earlier? How Zero knows the term is completely beyond me."

"He seems to know a lot more than he should. Especially about 20xx. Are you sure you didn't tell him anything?"

"Positive."

Leviathan peeked around from behind the others to look at Zero. He had seemingly calmed down too, and was kicking the remains of the garbage can in annoyance.

"Stupid robot masters. If they're so great they should put up more of a fight!" he grumbled. He fell to his haunches, sitting and looking around at the scenery curiously. His eyes fell to X, and they widened.

"Hey, it's you!"

X was taken aback, but went with it, "It's me? Oh yeah, it's me! You know, uh..."

"You're that stupid little blueberry twerp, remember? Duh! You robots are so stupid! Forgetting your own name, how dumb! Dumbass!" He swayed drunkenly, his face creased from the concentration it took to stay upright. X recognized this as a sign that he was ready to topple, so he went on with business without further ado.

"If you're so smart, then what _is_ my name?"

"Hah hah, you're so stupid it's sad. You're Meh... Moron? No, wait... Megaman!"

X froze, unable to believe his ears. This sentiment was shared by the rest. "Mega... man? No, it's Megaman X. You always call X, remember?" He denied, trying to make sense of what was going on.

Zero sneered, "Whaa haa haa, you really are stupid, ain't yah? Shithead!" Then Zero looked at him, leaning his head to the side. His expression changed from scorn to wonder. He laughed raucously, "Oi, wait a minute! Heh hah hah hah! You're supposed to be dead! You so stupid that you forgot you was supposed to be dead? Hah hah!"

X grimaced. One question came into everyone's mind, all at the same time. Only X was brave enough to ask it.

"Hey, Zero... why am I dead?"

Zero looked at him with extreme boredom, like a child ready to discard an old, broken toy.

"'Cause I killed ya."

Zero's eyes went blank. They rolled up into his head as he fell backwards, unconscious.

Harpuia stepped forward, gazing commandingly at all in attendance.

"Our house. NOW."

X X X

The doorbell rang at three in the morning. Footsteps echoed throughout the decorated halls as Harpuia jogged to the door. He opened it, the freezing night air rushing into the house.

"Ah, it's you! Come on in you two, before it gets cold."

Two huddled figures came in, the thinner of the two rubbing her shoulder to dispel the cold.

"Ah, thanks, Harpuia!" Ciel smiled. Cerveau began to remove his gloves, nodding at the green sage, "I hope we made it in good time?"

"You did. He's still asleep," Hepuia frowned, "but that's also a bad thing. The longer he's out, the more worried X seems to get. Damnit, what was that red idiot thinking?" he scowled absentmindedly, returning to the chamber which held Zero. The pair at the doorway followed suit the moment their jackets were hung up.

In the same room that the ex-generals usually had their celebrations, they now had one very pale looking reploid accompanied by his worried friends.

"Go go away... stoppit... uh, woof or something..." Zero grumbled.

The red hero was laid out flat on his back on the couch, snarling at an imaginary foe in his dreams. He was virtually buried in blankets and pillows, one of his arms stuck out at an odd angle to claw occasionally at the air. X was sitting at his side, gently patting his cheek to try and wake him up. Leviathan appeared next to him with a warm, damp cloth.

"Still having nightmares, hey?" Cerveau noticed sadly.

Harpuia nodded.

"Grr, stupid copy... oh wait, I'm the copy... Whoopsie..."

Fefnir sighed, holding a towel to his own head as he fought off the effects of his earlier alcohol binge. "Can't someone shut him up, it hurts..." he moaned.

His complaints went ignored. Phantom was barely holding onto consciousness himself, but Axl was the polar opposite, pacing frenetically and glancing over at his older brother constantly. His restless movements did little to help the situation, however, as Zero remained ignorant of everything happening outside of his own mind.

"We're sorry to have to call you over, but we really have no idea about what's happening to him," Harpuia explained.

"Nonsense, you did the right thing. Besides, we would have come over anyways," Ciel chided. She walked over to the unconscious red hero, gently shooing X away as she leant in to try and solve the problem.

"Ooh, look at the pretty butterfly... I think it's trying to kill me..." rambled Zero.

The scientist frowned, "Well, I don't really know what's going on... does any of what Zero is saying sound familiar?"

X shook his head. Everyone else frowned.

Axl grimaced, "Nope, nothing he's said so far has sounded familiar..."

"Hah hah, hey X, Axl, it's buttface version eight-point-oh!"

"Except that..." he groaned.

Phantom was staring at Zero with confusion, and he wasn't the only one. Harpuia looked over at X questioningly.

"That quote was back from the eighth maverick uprising. I wouldn't ask..." he explained.

"I doubt I'd get it even if I did," Leviathan muttered loudly.

"Well, now that he said that, a couple of things that he's said have made some sense. But, most of it's pretty vague at best," X pondered.

"Hmmm..." Cerveau scratched his chin, a habit he favoured. Then he turned to Ciel, "Hey Ciel, you said something some time ago, around Valentine's, wasn't it? That Zero may have been traumatized during an event in his past? I wonder if this is a side-effect of that."

"It's more like it's the full-blown symptoms, if you ask me," Axl shot worriedly.

"Now that you mention it, that may very well be the cause of this. If Zero was holding back something that important from everyone, it may have slowly eaten away at him. During the wars it could have been pushed into the back of his mind, but now that the time is more peaceful, he's probably had nothing else to distract him from whatever happened."

"So he's basically been a ticking time bomb ever since the war ended..." Leviathan sighed.

"Pretty much, I'm afraid. It may have been accelerated by his getting drunk, though. Now that he's at the mercy of his subconscious mind, whatever raging... _thing_ was confined there is now running amok."

"Geeze Zero... Geeze! Why couldn't you just have told me what Sigma told you!" X yelled angrily.

Surprised by his outburst, the others could do nothing but watch as a teary-eyed X pounded his leg in frustration.

"To hell with it, Zero! What's it that's so important that you can't tell anyone? What's so great and scary that you had to keep it to yourself? Let it devour you from the inside out! Damn it, damn it..." he despaired, his eyes never straying from the weak form of his friend.

"What did Sigma tell you back then, Zero? Please. Zero, please tell us."

Zero shuffled. He snarled again, his brows furrowing in intense hatred.

"Sigma..."

X looked at Zero. "What did he say, Zero? C'mon, tell me. It's okay. Go on."

"Sigma... you liar... Liar! Liar! No, no! Liar!"

Everyone was silent, their breaths held tightly inside their chests. The room seemed completely still. Then Zero began to twitch, slowly and almost unrecognizably at first, but stronger as time wore on.

"Liar! No, that can't be true. You liar... no. No. That's not true... I can't be. No, I can't be. No, no, no. Cain made me. Not him. Can't be him. Not him. Liar. Liar! No!"

Zero suddenly grabbed the back of the couch, gripping it so hard his knuckles seemed to stand out like mountains. "Not him, there's no way. I'm not... not either. Not a maverick. No. No I'm not, I can't be. Not a maverick. No. You were the maverick. You. Not me. You," he mewled, disbelieving. It wasn't the fact that seemed to want to deny something that caught the hearts of his audience with a cold, clammy grasp.

It was the fact that he was trying to deny something he thought was true.

The tone of his voice said it all. Desperation mixed with anxiety and anger, the voice of a scared child and the roaring hatred of a demon.

"Not me, can't be me. You were the first maverick. You were. Not me. No, no. Lies! He didn't make me, couldn't have! He's dead. He's been dead for longer than I've lived. So he can't have made me. Cain made me. That's what he told me. No! You liar! Liar liar liar... noooo... He didn't make me! He's dead! I can't have been... first maverick, no, not me. He didn't make me! Not that man! Not Wily! No no no no no no no no no no no no no no NO NO NO NO NO!"

Zero trembled, clutching the couch. X ran from the room, aghast. He stopped just outside of it, his hand to his mouth and his eyes wide in shock. He too was trembling, terrified of what he'd heard. Axl dashed after him, skidding to a halt in front of him.

"X..."

X fell to the floor, his hands moving up to his ears.

"I didn't hear that. Please tell me I didn't hear that. No way."

"X..." Axl gave him the softest, kindest look he could muster, "It doesn't matter. Zero is Zero."

"But... Wily! Maverick!" X stuttered, unable to formulate his thoughts into a coherent sentence.

Axl, although the most innocent of the group inside of the ex-generals home, was somehow the calmest. He knew what he'd heard just as well as everyone else. And he knew that it must be harder on X than everyone else. After all, X was made by Light. He knew that from how proud X was every time he'd mentioned the man who'd made him. And he was one of the few who'd listened to X's tales about his ancestor, Megaman, and his struggles against an apparently evil, psychotic mad scientist by the name of Wily.

But even he hadn't expected that madman to be capable of making something, no, someone, like Zero. Wily was supposed to have just been a good-for-nothing joke. A robot thief, right? Just some random guy who ought to have been put in an asylum. Axl was sure that knowledge was causing X no end of torment. The thought that Zero had been created by someone as malicious, twisted, tainted as Wily...

Not to mention what Axl had been told about what Zero said earlier. About killing Megaman...

"X, look, Zero is Zero. He's your best friend, and right now he's in a lot of pain from the inside. Even if he really was made by Wily, he's not some mindless monster. We're all really hurting, X... especially Zero. And I'll bet you all my money that the moment we can get Zero happy again, we'll all be happy. Come on, X!"

X finally looked up, sniffing. Then he gave a small, nervous grin, "Axl, you've got way too much money. I couldn't hold you to that bet."

Axl giggled, glad to have been able to make X smile in even this dark of a time. "Come on you great blue blob, let's get back to the others."

The navy prankster helped X to his feet, walking him back into the room with the others. They were ashen faced, quiet as a grave. Only the sound of Zero's whimpers broke the heavy silence.

X walked up to Zero, sitting beside him on the couch. The others looked at him, unsure of what to do.

Calmly, X spoke, "Wake up, Zero."

"Hey Zero," Axl followed, "wake up, would yah? Nightmares aren't any fun. Wake up from this one."

The others looked at each other then came over, draping themselves wherever there was room, all looking longingly at Zero.

"Hey, come on, up and at 'em!"

"Wake up, Zero, we still need you out here."

"Get up, would you?"

"Wake up Zero, please."

Fefnir growled at the unresponsive Zero. "Hey, you've got a bunch of nice people out here acting as your alarm clock and you're not listening! Wake up you thick clod!" He brought his fist down on top of Zero's head hard, but not hard enough to do any permanent damage.

Zero grunted. He shook his head then quivered, his eyes still closed. X grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him lightly.

"Come on! Wake up Zero! WAKE UP!"

Zero's eyes fluttered. His death grip on the couch weakened before giving out altogether. He seemed exhausted, his cheeks still somewhat flushed from the alcohol.

"Huh...? What...? X? Axl? Ciel? Everyone? What are you all doing here?"

"Trying to bring you back," Leviathan replied.

Ciel smiled sadly at zero, "You were asleep, but caught in a nightmare.

"A… nightmare?" Zero asked.

"Yeah, Zero, a really bad nightmare. You were talking in your sleep, too," Harpuia answered.

"Zero…"

"Yeah, X?"

"You were made by Dr. Wily, weren't you?"

Zero stared in shock. His eyes were wide and frightened as he looked at X. "H-how…?"

X sat down beside his scared friend, doing his best to appear calm and kind like he usually did, "I asked you what Sigma said when you were asleep, and you started yelling about "first maverick" and who made you and "Wily", and a lot of other things that didn't make sense. Zero, I think it's time to tell us what happened back then."

Zero's eyes darted around the room, glancing at everyone in attendance. Everyone was looking at him with concern, fear, confusion, all sorts of different emotions. Zero himself wanted to bolt off the couch, run and hide and go to sleep and wake up to a world where nothing had ever happened. He swallowed that thought right then and there; he couldn't shove this matter away any more. They'd all heard him say something, so there was no way he could hide it any more. He confessed.

"It… it all started back when… in 20xx, when Wily made me. It's all a blur. I remember doing so much, but it's like I was just watching it all happen. Wily activated me… told me to go kill something. Go kill everything. I think he meant to say, "go kill everything that opposes me," but all I remember him saying is "kill" and "everything". So I did, started with him. Then these strange little robot guys appear outta nowhere, attack me, so I attacked 'em back. I got a bit damaged, but it was no biggie. So I kept going, killing everything I could see. Then there was a few new robot guys that came along. There was a red one, a black and yellow one, a blue one… and some other ones. They fought a lot harder than the other robots, I took a lot of damage. I was just about to finish off the last of them, a big green one, when… now, this is just what I remember… I saw some guy that looked like Santa Claus. Not even kidding, he had a big white beard, and was covered in red. I doubt it was Santa, I think I'd just taken too much damage to the head. The robots from earlier were damn good at shooting me there, and it really hurt. So I ran back to Wily's base, and took a nap in my stasis pod to shake of the headache, right?

I must've slept longer than I meant to though, 'cause next thing I know some newer looking robots are banging on my pod and pointing at me and grinnin' like idiots. I still had a bit of a headache I guess, 'cause I got really pissed and smashed my pod to get at 'em. Killed a bunch of them. Then I remember walking around for a while, trying to find my way outta Wily's base. Then this one really big robot comes up to me, he looked mad. It was Sigma, although I didn't know it at the time. So we fight, and I'm having a lot of fun 'cause he's really strong, right? I finally manage to get the upper hand after a long brawl. It was so fun! I remember thinkin' that maybe I should keep the guy barely alive, so he'd fight me again. Then my headache got really, really bad. I mean, just AWFUL.

From what Sigma told me right before our fight in the fourth rebellion, I'd apparently started screaming in pain and clutching my head, and that's when he'd seen a weird W symbol appear in my head gem. From there he'd guessed that it was my weak point. So he gave it a right good punch, knocked me straight out. And well, that was shortly before he started acting maverick… turns out, it was the virus that Wily had programmed into me acting up. I don't know why it did, but it did. And when Sigma hit me in the head, the majority of the virus got transferred to him. Only the stuff in my core programming remained, and it took a dang good while before it started producing itself again. And, well, I'm sure you can guess what happened from there. Cain took me in, told me a few white lies, etc, etc."

Zero had been getting paler and paler as his story wore on, staring into space like it was trying to kill him. He began rocking back and forth.

"When I think about it, about what I did… I can't believe I killed so many… They didn't do anything to me… all my fault, I murdered them. Murdered them all, I'm a murderer, murderer, and no matter what I tried it just happens again and again and again… It's just going to keep happening, murdering them all, even when I tried to remove the virus people just kept dying and dying and it never went away. It's going to happen again and again people dying again 'cause it's all my fault I'm a murderer murderer …" he babbled, the full force of his trauma hitting him head on. The he stopped, stared at X, his face ghostly.

"It's never going to stop, never. Not unless I go away. Go away for good."

Before he even realized what was going on, Axl had practically flown into his lap, nearly choking him as he hugged him tightly around the neck.

"NO!" Axl sobbed, "no, don't say that! No!" He cried, tears draining from his eyes at a rapid pace. Zero was stunned. He stared at Axl, who was looking up at him, his face creased in despair.

"Big brother, don't say something like that!" he wailed. Axl clutched Zero tighter, his small frame wracked with sorrow. Zero had no idea how to react.

Ciel finally made herself known, stepping forward and kneeling down in front of the pair, "Zero… You don't have to leave. You don't _ever_ have to leave. I don't know where you got that idea from, but get rid of it right here and now." She gestured towards Axl, still buried in Zero's chest, "Look at him Zero. If you were to leave, he wouldn't be the only one that sad. We'd all be sad. You've done so much for us, sacrificed so much so everyone could live in peace. It wouldn't be fair if you had to go. You've put so much effort into this world; it's time you stayed and enjoyed the fruits of your labours."

"But… but…" Zero tried to argue. How could he get them to understand? He decided that there was only one way to it.

Zero told them about his dream, about what had happened after that last time he'd had it. Wasn't that enough evidence that he should leave?

Harpuia looked furious, "You… how could you? Zero, you stupid fool! Why do you think that justifies what you're putting us through right now?"

Zero, for the first time in a long while, looked absolutely stupefied. All he could manage was a dumb gape at the lightning sage.

"First of all, what kind of reploid honestly makes decisions based on silly little dreams! Dreams are nothing more than the works of a flitting imagination! Besides, Zero, even if this dream _does_ have some relevance, what kind of _fool_ lets a decision that important fall solely to himself? You have _friends_, Zero! _FRIENDS_! Me, Leviathan, Ciel, Fefnir, X Phantom, Cerveau, Axl! And that's only the tip of the iceberg! You're not alone, Zero, and there are so many people that would be hurt to no end if you left! Zero…" he continued, his previous rage completely devoid from his voice, "don't do this to us. I lost many people during the war, as did everyone. Especially the resistance. You were their beacon of hope during the war. You still are. Even I, a proud supporter of Neo Arcadia, was swayed by your light. You have no idea how many people would be devastated if you just up and disappeared one day."

"Zero, we both have our monsters," X began, "but don't think that, just because you've done regrettable things, that you too are a monster."

"But what if I am?" asked Zero hollowly. "I killed so many back then…"

Fefnir growled, "Zero, you are no monster. If you were, you would not be here today. You want a monster? I've seen what you'd have looked like if you were. You did too. Remember? Remember Omega?"

An unconscious shiver went through everyone who had seen the reploid first hand. Leviathan was the first to reminisce.

"Oh, _now_ that was a monster. His eyes…"

"Omega's eyes held nothing but bloodlust," Harpuia murmured, closing his eyes as if to try and blot out the memory.

"Now, Zero," Ciel started, "you remember what Omega was like, right?" Zero nodded gingerly in response. "Okay, good. Now, think, what exact traits did he have? Name one."

"…uhm… Glowing eyes…"

"Yes! Yes, Omega had glowing eyes. Nasty, icky, glowing red eyes. What else did he have?" Ciel indicated to the others that it was their turn; they joined in jubilantly at this apparent game.

"Omega had some pretty scruffy white hair, didn't he?"

"Ugh, yeah, I remember that! And Omega had some dark red armour too, didn't he?

"Dark? I bet it was just really dirty. After all, he decided to pop up in that ratty old lab, didn't he?"

"Yeah! He could've come to fight Zero anywhere, but _no_, Omega just _had_ to appear out of that filthy, grimy, mucky water. Eyuch!"

"And Omega was seriously compensatin' for something with that head gem of his, wasn't he? _Sure_ it glowed all bright and nice, but it was probably making up for the fact that he was such a dimwit!"

"Not all the lightbulbs were on in _that_ attic!"

"I know, right? And he couldn't make up his mind what element he wanted to use, either! Fire here, ice there, and a bit of electricity for the hell of it! What a dumbass!"

"Dumbass? More like, 'easy to kick ass'!"

"He was such a wimp, too! Had to heal after every little boo-boo he got!"

"I bet the jerk would've gone crying home to mommy if he'd had one!"

"Honestly, I don't blame the idiot for going belly-up! After all, with no mommy he'd have had to go crying to Weil!"

"Oh, don't even get me started on that old prune! I'm starting to pity that poor sod Omega!"

"Yeah, no wonder he wore that armour, if that old goat's face was the only other thing to stare at all day!"

The discussion wore on, each comment gradually getting funnier than the last. Suddenly Zero couldn't take it anymore. He burst out laughing, tears streaming down his face as he clutched at his sides. The heaves of laughter turned into great sobs, but Zero couldn't stop. Axl looked up at his big brother, confused, but proceeded to simply give him a hug. Zero returned it. Ciel sat down beside them, joining in. X followed, then Leviathan, and eventually everyone was in the group hug, comforting Zero, wordlessly encouraging him to let it all out. And he did.

It seemed hours before his cries finally ended. Zero gave a final sniff, and that was that. He seemed to withdraw into his own world for a while again, but everyone was fine with it this time. After all, there was no longer anything there to haunt him.

Ciel, X, Leviathan and Axl stayed with Zero. The others quietly moved out of the room, letting the red hero recuperate with as little interference as possible. Phantom coughed, uncomfortable. Cerveau glanced around the hall, unsure about what to do with the new silence.

Fefnir scratched his head. Looking away from everyone, he suddenly seemed to address Harpuia.

"Hey, Harpy… remember that old superstition?"

Harpuia, surprised, turned around, "Which one?"

The others cocked their heads, interested in the transaction that Fefnir had started. "You know, the one where people sneeze when they're being talked about."

"Yeah, so? What about it?"

Fefnir turned around, grinning widely, "I bet if that whacko Omega was still around, he would've been having a sneezing fit!"

A light laugh echoed throughout his audience.

X X X X X

"Haaa..."

"HaCHOO!"

"KUH!"

"Haa-TCHOOOO!"

_Wham_!

The back of a helmeted head cracked painfully against the ground as its owner was sent flying by the force of his latest sneeze. The dark red fins on the helmet did not help matters, as they caused the helmet to assume an awkward angle as it hit.

Omega snarled in bad temper, doing his absolute best to hold down his apparent "allergy attack" as he tried vainly to discover the source.

"Hoo... ATSHOO!"

He ran a system scan, then looked around to see if anything had changed with the scenery. Nothing. He pulled himself to his feet. With bated breath, Omega waited for a new sneeze. However, it seemed that his fit had finally come to an end. A sigh of relief escaped him. Then-

"WHAACHOOOO!"

_Wham_!

And he was back on his back. Omega looked up at the distorted sky with utter disgust.

Once he got out, someone would be getting fucking MAULED.

X X X X X

That night, Zero had another dream.

_The wolf walked towards the forest, feeling alone but somewhat happy. Going back to forest was the right thing to do, it thought. But still, the dogs had been so happy after seeing the other side of the hill. What if the other side really was that great?_

_No, it couldn't be. Could it?_

_The wolf fought the urge to turn back. It kept heading to the forest, convinced it was the right thing to do. The empty, dead, bleak forest that held nothing but the ghosts of memories._

"Why?"

_The wolf looked behind itself, surprised at what it heard. One of the dogs was there, sad. "_Why_", it asked, "_why do you go back_?"_

"Wolf"_. The wolf said simply, not wanting to betray anything._

"But there are no more wolves! We killed them all!" _Said another dog who had appeared._

"Silly you, don't go back_!" Laughed another dog._

_All of the sheepdogs appeared, asking the wolf not to go back, telling him that he was silly or stupid to think that there were more wolves in the forest._

"But_ I_ am a wolf. I must go back_." The wolf said, finally realizing that he could lie no more. He was not a dog, and he could no longer pretend to be._

"You are not a wolf_," said the first dog. The others echoed the statement._

"But I am," _said the wolf.__ And he went and stood in the forest. He growled, showing his teeth. "_See? I am really a wolf!"

_The dogs saw this and quieted down instantly. Dogs do not come from forests, only wolves do. Only a wolf would step in the forest._

_The first dog was scared. "_Did not wolves kill dogs and sheep?" _He had never seen the wolf kill those on purpose and said as thus._ "Why are you a wolf?" _It cried, confused and despairing._

"Oh, but I have. I have killed dogs and sheep. While you all fought the wolves, I also fought the sheep and dogs, and sheep and dogs who threatened others in the herd. But I have also killed wolves. I am worse than a wolf, for I have killed my own kind, even though they were killed for the herd. I am worse than a wolf, I am a monster." _Said the wolf, hiding in the empty forest._

"You are not a monster."

_All the other dogs and the wolf stared. The quietest of the dogs had raised her voice._

"Yes, you were a wolf. I can see you in the forest, where no true dog can stand. And yet, there you stand. But that forest is dead, it holds no shadows, only the ghosts of memories. You were a wolf, but are not one anymore. Come here, for you are a dog."

_The wolf, surprised, stepped out of the forest._

"If you were a wolf you would not have obeyed a dog_," she said._ "If you were a wolf, you would not have fought alongside us dogs to protect the herd. Maybe you did kill dogs and sheep, but only because you used to be a wolf. But you are a dog now, and we dogs must protect the herd."

"All the wolves are dead!"

"Besides, what if a new forest lies ahead? The rest of us could never smell the dangers in a forest as well as you!"

"Yeah!"

_The other dogs said. They began yipping and barking happily and wagged their tails. To his surprise, the wolf's tail began to wag as well. The other dogs went back to the hill, the wolf followed. He yipped and barked happily as his tail wagged along with the others, all the way to the hill._

_When truly tamed, a wolf is not a wolf but a dog._

_And all the dogs went over the hill._


End file.
